I don’t know who I am anymore.

[ItsAlwaysAutumn]

Years of pleasing everyone and being a yes woman have come to an ugly turn. I struggle with anxiety and depression. Within the last 6 months things have progressively gotten worse. After living in a broken marriage for almost 5 years I finally had the courage to let go. As I’ve taken on the role of single Mom to a 2 year old, working full time, I have no identity outside it. Just feels like I’m drowning.

[fauxartist]

I'm sorry your going through this, and congratulate yourself for getting out of a bad situation. You will find you again...or maybe a better you...happier you....I understand people pleasing and co-dependency....all of which are self defeating and deflating...eventually you have nothing left to give and your an empty shell wondering what happened. You can look at this as the beginning of a new life...one you create for yourself and your son where you feel in charge of your own life and how you choose to live it.....you will find who you want to be slowly . I'm glad your sharing here...

[ItsAlwaysAutumn in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you for your kind response. I am glad to be here. I am so used to people saying “snap out of it” or “cheer up” when it’s not that simple for some of us.

[fauxartist in reply to ItsAlwaysAutumn]

nope....you won't get that here....we have all heard it before too....your not alone there. Depression is a disease no different than having heart disease or diabetes....it's a chemical deficiency in the brain....it's not your fault, it's just a part of you that you have to learn to live with so that you are not your disease....you are living with it. We use labels here to kind of help each other understand what ails us so to speak, but labels don't define us. We still have free will and can make the choices to do our best to feel better and that is a life long balance of learning to care for ourselves...being our own advocate and not letting people in our inner circle who are not willing to accept us for exactly who we are and understand us and what we are living with.

[MARYRD27]

I totally agree with fauxartist. You have made a good first step and it sounds like you are on a path to self-discovery. Too many women are people pleasers and, as you discovered, it is not healthy. Fortunately, you sound like you are still young and understand that you are capable of change. Change isn’t easy, but you are moving in the right direction. Have you thought of antidepressants to help you through this transition? Or seeing a therapist? I’ve been in your shoes, but I was older with 2 kids. I know that having someone to talk to really helps a lot. And be sure to take care of yourself. Sleep is very important and eating healthy food.

[Windy101]

Wow, good for you for changing your life for the better! No one should have to live in a miserable marriage. Divorce brings about a long of change, and change causes stress which can lead to depression. I think the more you get used to your new circumstances, the better you will feel.

Meanwhile, it you're not getting professional help already, you might want to consider it. Working fulltime and caring for a 2 year old is a lot! Some support and understanding from a counselor or some medication might really make difference.

Congratulations on the courage to change your life, dear lady! Hurray for you!