This is really hard to talk about because I think I did something stupid and that people will think I'm stupid too, how I feel is also something I haven't told anyone but this is constantly on my mind.
Ok, so basically in 2017 I had surgery on my nose because I had a swollen cartilage on the right side of my septum, the doctors asked although it isn't urgent, do you want the surgery to fix the swollen cartilage? I said yes and got the surgery done a few months after.
(Im putting this short cause then I'd have wrote too much)
I'm not saying I was pretty but I thought I was fairly ok looking before I had surgery and now my nose looks completely different as if the one thing I felt made me look good was my nose and now it looks different and I am having a hard time, looking back at photos of how i looked before, whenever I take a photo of myself I just feel ugly and this is something I think about nearly everyday, my nose.
I regret the choice I made and now I feel stupid for doing it in the first place.
This also leads to thoughts like, I'm ugly, no one will ever love me.
I've tried to love this "new me" I guess but I can't, I really dislike myself.
I really don't know what to do with how I feel.😢😢😢
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maskedjinn
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Hi you made the decision at the time based on the information you had. You obviously needed it done so it would have been stupid not to have had it. Why not save up for a nose job to restore it to it's former glory?
If only good looking people found love then there would be a lot of us on our own! What attracts others isn't the way we look but how comfortable we are in our skin. It will be this rather than your looks that stops you finding love. If we accept ourselves warts and all then so will others and they will then be more attracted to you. x
while i haven't experienced the same type of situation, i can relate to the low self confidence you are talking about, disliking myself, feeling like i am unlovable and regretting choices i've made. it is terrible to be feeling all those things, and i am sorry to hear that you are feeling these things. i wish i had some sage advice on what to do with how you feel; what i can say is that you are not alone.
I'm very sensitive about my looks, and if I had to guess, I'd guess that most people are. My nose is one thing I hate, and I've always been picked on about my nose. Don't blame them, though, because I understand I don't have the most attractive nose. On top of that, I have a huge forhead with noticeable spider and varicose veins, terrible head line, crooked teeth, and more cellulite that I would like. This could be my low self confidence talking, but I'm a very realistic person, so I also know what I see and will admit what I have.
Hi I was the original geek at school. By age 12 I had very severe acne which has left me with permanent scarring and indents in my skin. I wore glasses full time, had permanently greasy hair, and was convinced I was overweight! I also suffered from depression and had zero confidence. My emotional needs were reacted to negatively and I was never validated and had no self esteem or confidence at all. Boys ignored me or made fun of me and I literally had no friends all throughout my childhood and early adulthood. I left home at 18 because of the arguments and tension in my home and cleared off to London. I had a terrible few years and had a breakdown at 19 and was hospitalised. I hated myself. Not one family member ever came to see me. I realised at that age I was on my own to sink or swim and I was sinking fast.
I always had to work which was torture feeling like I did and I had enormous trouble keeping a job and was incredibly lonely. I also self harmed. In my 20's I knew things had to change or I would have topped myself. It was a stark choice. I chose to do everything in my power to change my life to one which was at least ok.
When I started looking forward things changed naturally. I sought out counselling, decided I needed to learn how to make friends so I taught myself. I got 2 dermabrasions on the NHS which helped my skin quite a lot.
Between 25-30 I did many new things, bought my own flat, got 2 kittens, went to Uni, discovered darts which I have a passion for, went abroad for the first time, learnt to drive - and most of all made friends. I began to have more confidence in myself and learnt that people liked me coz of my good qualities ie my sense of humour, lively personality, intelligence etc. Before I knew it my life became so much better and I had more confidence. Ok I have always had to fight the demon of depression but learnt to know myself a lot better and learned I was ok. I had my share of bf's as well.
It upsets me to come in here and young people say they 'hate themselves' and feel ashamed and guilty etc. This is why I say look forward and do everything you can to change your life if you don't like your current one. Your future is in your hands and is your responsibility.
If you accept yourself as you are then others will too which is very attractive. x
If the picture you put up is after the surgery, then I think you're being very hard on your self. Although the picture is small, I didn't notice anything abnormal about your nose, or anything else. Why not ask some people you trust to give their opinions on this?
I don’t think you did anything stupid at all. I would have thought it was the best thing to do, to have swollen cartilage removed (otherwise I think you might have had a bit of trouble breathing down your nose?). So you did the right thing. I’d have done the same.
I’ll lay money on the fact that your nose looks absolutely fine. I think something changing on your face can be hard to deal with. This is a bit different, but I have developed rosacea over the past year and it has made my face look so different. I can’t cover it with makeup, because the skin is so dry. So that’s another change for me - I like wearing make up so I feel I look really different.
If you really can’t settle about how your nose looks now, can you get some advice about it? I wouldn’t jump into more surgery, as surgery always creates scar tissue and could make it harder to get your nose back to the way it looked before. Xx
No matter how beautiful you are today, time takes it away. Aging is painful when your looks have been too important.
Beauty can make relationships harder. When someone wants you for your looks they become bored really fast.
It may look shocking to you because you are not used to seeing your new face. You may need time to get used to it.
You are not expected to know all the ins and outs of a procedure. It is up to the surgeon to explain it all clearly and completely. Failure to do so makes it a surgery without (informed)consent.
Ask another surgeon to examine you to see if the care you received was up to par.
If you feel there is an error you need to decide if you want to pursue damages. Each state has a set time frame in which you can accuse the DR.
Visit a cosmetics salesperson. They have lots of tricks to improve perceived flaws.
When you are out and about become a people watcher. The majority lack beauty, but they go about thier lives. They marry, raise families, get promotions……..they live valid lives.
Scan through some "people" articles. There are many borderline pretty people that the magazine declares as beautiful.
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