That Dark Cloud: No matter how busy I... - Anxiety and Depre...

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That Dark Cloud

A_Peaceful_Mind profile image
31 Replies

No matter how busy I try to stay, that moment where I take that little 5 minute breather, that horrible dark feeling begins to sink in again! I just don’t get it and the feeling is also hard to completely explain. I’m scared in case this is all that there is to me for the rest of my life! What if it comes to a point where not even my children can keep me going?! Moments in the day I’ll feel excitement about my future but then there is other moments where I get this horrible dark feeling and I feel as though I don’t have a future and that there is nothing more for me to do on this earth! I know it’s a load of crap as I do still have my beautiful children to bring up but it’s just how I feel! I try to stay as positive as I can but sometimes it’s just not always possible unfortunately!

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A_Peaceful_Mind profile image
A_Peaceful_Mind
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31 Replies
Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234

Are you on any meds for low mood if you don’t mind me asking

A_Peaceful_Mind profile image
A_Peaceful_Mind in reply to Sillysausage234

I’m on Fluoxetine and Quetiapine.

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234 in reply to A_Peaceful_Mind

They are not working too good for you are they really when did you last have a review

A_Peaceful_Mind profile image
A_Peaceful_Mind in reply to Sillysausage234

I had a review not that long ago. I have Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder so unfortunately I need to do a lot of Therapy as medication isn’t a complete fix for me anyway. I just have to cope with these dark days as best as I can. My Mental Health Team are brilliant so I do completely trust that I’m on the correct medication at this moment in time.

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234 in reply to A_Peaceful_Mind

Ok I understand..the only thing that works for me is soothing music when the dark moods come I put the earphones in and they go have you tried watching comedy I know sounds silly but it does remind you not to take everything too serious all the time I know sometimes it’s impossible.best wishes 🙏

A_Peaceful_Mind profile image
A_Peaceful_Mind in reply to Sillysausage234

I love listening to music. It does keep me distracted for a certain amount of time. I also find colouring in good as well. Xxx

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234 in reply to A_Peaceful_Mind

Good 😊..sometimes we just got to learn to live with the dark cloud days but enjoy the sunshine ones when they occasionally crop up hope today brings one for you ...🙋🏻‍♂️

A_Peaceful_Mind profile image
A_Peaceful_Mind in reply to Sillysausage234

Well the sun is definitely shining today so maybe today is a good day! 😄

jkl5500 profile image
jkl5500

I hope this helps: As much as we would like, we can't unthink and unfeel negative experiences that we've had in the past. It would be nice if we all had a "Delete" button on our foreheads for those awful thoughts and feelings. But we don't. So, when those bad memories reappear, we must realize that, as strong and scary as they seem, they are only symptoms of an illness. What truly matters is that you are making progress in your life. Those feelings will pass. Believe me, I know from experience that they will. Be at peace.

A_Peaceful_Mind profile image
A_Peaceful_Mind in reply to jkl5500

Thank you so much for your kind words. Xxx

Chicafromchitown profile image
Chicafromchitown

I hear you!!!! one minute I am thinking about tomorrow the next I’m feeling this sadness 😞😢 that I don’t know 🤷‍♀️ where does it come from!! I don’t understand I have three beautiful kids, four grandkids I very supportive husband, like you I try to stay positive but sometimes you just can’t and it’s not like you don’t to be happy 😃 I just don’t want to feel like this for the rest of my life...... do you feel that people just don’t understand your feelings. I am here whenever you feel like talking who truly understands. Take care 🙏🏽

A_Peaceful_Mind profile image
A_Peaceful_Mind in reply to Chicafromchitown

I do feel as though no one understands which makes it harder. Since doing some kind of Therapy, I have learnt to no longer hold how I feel in and to be open about how I’m feeling so I am to my family but even then they are very supportive but they still don’t understand. Thank you so much for your post. Xxx

ChicagoGirl1961 profile image
ChicagoGirl1961

You can't stop dark or negative thoughts from coming to your mind. Try as I might I still cannot stop negative thoughts, but I now choose every time one comes to refuse to think about them. I give them no merit. They are not worthy of dwelling upon. Negative or dark thoughts, if we let them marinate in our minds, are rocket fuel for both anxiety and depression. You CAN choose to NOT think about them when they come. When they come again, you CAN continue to give them no merit and not dwell upon them. In time this can become second nature. When those dark thoughts come try to immediately dismiss them and think only about those beautiful children. You can't control the thoughts that come to you, but you CAN control what you think about. You CAN do this. Be well.

A_Peaceful_Mind profile image
A_Peaceful_Mind in reply to ChicagoGirl1961

Thank you so much lovely. I’ll definitely be trying these methods. Xxx

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943

Sounds like you have been experiencing nervous exhaustion for some time. This is usually due to worry, over-work, stress, loss, grief, guilt and other negative things in your life. Too much of any combination of these leads to heightened anxiety and nervous sensitisation: this latter creates all sorts of unpleasant symptoms including intrusive thoughts. We develop a feeling of bewilderment and always fear the worst, small problems easily overcome seem like insurmountable obstacles.

Constant anxiety causes depletion which leads to depression and we can also get depressed about being anxious.

All this negativity is fuelled by fear: fear of the future, fears for our health, fears of early death, all unfounded.

A_Peaceful_Mind, you are not going to feel like this forever, you will recover your quiet mind. The only question is how soon?

We are allowed to have intrusive thoughts, we all have them in some shape or form. So long as we do not act on them with detrimental results, just accept them for the time being. Rather than constantly fighting them which causes more nervous exhaustion. Intrusive thoughts are annoying but harmless, do not fear them, do not give them an importance they don't deserve. When they come do not react to the flash of first fear that comes with them with second fear.

Recovery depends on reducing the importance you attach to them, do not suppress them, do not obsess them: just accept them utterly for the moment.

When you resolve those issues that have caused your anxiety and depression, when you have rejected fear as a response to negative thoughts, when you have agreed to accept all the bad thoughts and feelings for the time being and practice that acceptance for an indeterminate period of time - then that little dark cloud will disperse and those intrusive thoughts will pass even as the morning mist fades with the rising of the Sun.

A_Peaceful_Mind profile image
A_Peaceful_Mind in reply to Jeff1943

Thank you so much for your post! This really does help! Xxx

ChicagoGirl1961 profile image
ChicagoGirl1961 in reply to Jeff1943

I think that is spot on Jeff when you stated not to "react" to the intrusive thoughts. I believe this is a learned behavior that we have to always keep in mind, and in time it can become almost natural not to react to intrusive or negative thoughts. I myself have been working on this and it is becoming second nature to me. I believe that learning not to react is a is a big step when working to overcome anxiety and depression.

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943 in reply to ChicagoGirl1961

That's right, ChicagoGirl, it's part of the recovery plan set out many years ago by Claire Weekes and is called Acceptance. Her first book in which she explained this is titled "Hope and help for your nerves" in the U.S. and "Self help for your nerves in the U.K. both available new or used from Amazon. But you may already have come across her, most self help books are based on her original teachings.

Florida1959 profile image
Florida1959

It’s a tough one, have you tried any therapies, for me, it’s nature, but recently CBT has really helped, and I have always poo poo ‘d it , it’s given me tools xxx do your meds need to be Reviewed? Good luck, stay strong xxx

A_Peaceful_Mind profile image
A_Peaceful_Mind in reply to Florida1959

I’m waiting to start CBT and my meds have just been reviewed. Xxx

Florida1959 profile image
Florida1959 in reply to A_Peaceful_Mind

Great start xxxx

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3

I know how you feel, everything's fine, but still have a like you say "Dark Cloud". I've been busy helping plan my grandsons birthday party. The last few days though have not been good, been eating everything wrong, I'm diabetic I shouldn't be doing that, but feel like I don't Care right now. Iam on medication feel like ok it's not enough?

A_Peaceful_Mind profile image
A_Peaceful_Mind in reply to Want2BHappy3

Are you under a Mental Health Team lovely? Maybe your medication could do with a review? Please don’t give up! Please keep in mind about your diabetes as well and try and look after yourself. I know it’s easier said than done but we can all get through this! Xxx

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3 in reply to A_Peaceful_Mind

Thanks for writing, my medication just got changed a couple of days ago. 2 different doctors have a different opinion on what's best for Me? My hole life has been a Dark Cloud, my mother told Me she regretted having me, that everything I did was Wrong and I got in trouble. So I question every thing I do? Even checking the toilet after I flush not sure I did it right? (Overflowing). I haven't been able to see my counselor only my psychiatrist I had too or she wouldn't renew my prescription. Because of my diabetes which I need monthly Medication and better eating which isn't cheap. I'm trying to hang in there, I'm just sick and tired of waking up every morning feeling sick to my stomach.

2017runner profile image
2017runner

Just want to send you some love and I know how you feel. I too have 2 beautiful children and a husband who supports me but still I get overwhelmed by my fears of being left alone, being useless, not being able to look after myself. And I know I should not listen to them but sometimes I just get overwhelmed by them. Sending you love positivity and strength xxx

Hope4me1 profile image
Hope4me1 in reply to 2017runner

You sound a lot like me! I am sometimes in fear of the unknown and anxiety hits and I feel it’s hard to do anything. It’s fearful to think of preparing meals or just taking care of myself. I had a good day yesterday and I rejoice in that, but last night I had anxiety and didn’t sleep well. I never know from one day to the next. I try to stay positive and use the tools that will help, but sometimes I just need someone to talk to that understands and can sort things out for me.

2017runner profile image
2017runner in reply to Hope4me1

That is exactly how I feel, can’t even find the energy or will to feed myself. I feel cold and alone all the time, even when with people and just want to go and snuggle under the covers in bed. Terrified of the rest of my life and how I am going to get through it. Sending love to you all xxx

Hope4me1 profile image
Hope4me1 in reply to 2017runner

I send you love and hope for better days ahead. Let’s support each other as best we can. Stay in touch❤️

Gillyflower18 profile image
Gillyflower18

I have the same thing a lot. You are not alone. It can go from hopeful to dark almost instantly for no discernible reason. Frustrating isn’t it!

Hope4me1 profile image
Hope4me1 in reply to Gillyflower18

Indeed it is!! For every negative though we must find a positive one! This will help.

marheart profile image
marheart

Have you used Rescue Remedy to get over those rough spots?

The spray works best for me.

Takes the typical and usual 15-20 in. to feel the activation. Works best when I can relax in bed or couch to breathe thru the rough moments until I start to feel some calm me down.

Usually means I need more sleep due to a sleep disorder. I do drift off for a nap.

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