Relationship has faded😞

[Destinyweathers]

I was alone and watching everyone meet the love of their lives made me want that type of love to where i tried making every man i met into Mr. Right.... That went down hill i always ended up hurt or the men only wanting something out of a so called relationship with me that would benefit them! Well outta that trial i ended up with 3 kids by 3 different men that wasn't the men for me and god gave me multiple signs with all 3 and i was hard headed now I'm raising 3 babies alone and one child's dad helps but its always drama with him.... Well after so long I met another man who in the beginning we started out great friends and just spending time with one another & he was nothing like any other man I've dealt with! Then as time went by of course we spent more and more time and even got sexual with eachother and from there we was together for 2 in a half years and we had a child together after the 1st year of being together and then we moved in together! He's so good and treats me like a true queen, he's supportive in all i do and even pushes me to do better, he there for me hand and foot, he went thru the whole pregnancy with me and even stayed the 5 extra days with me and the baby at the hospital! This is his 1st child he's 23 and im 30 he treats my other 3 like they are his own and so does his family... Now it's not all perfect they were skeptical of him being with me because i had 3 children and wanted him to be with someone his age and with someone who didnt have children but he chose to stay and be with me! Well we dont usually argue but from time to time my anxiety & depression episodes make me sad some days and angry the next and some days i dont wanna talk & wanna be left alone but he likes to talk and communicate about everything and i would shut down and get a wild hair up my ass and we've broken up and gotten back together and even got engaged but now the engagement is off and he says he still loves me and doesn't wanna be with anyone else but he says our relationship cnt work because one min we're fine the next we're acting like enemies!!! He wants to stay bffs and co parent! I agreed but its hurting me so bad because he's a good man and I'm a good woman to him he's just burnt out on breaking up and coming back every lil fall out we have what can i do? Can i do anything i love him so muchhh and he loves me so muchhh as well

[Kkimm]

Hi Destiny

I am so pleased you have found a good man and I do not think the age difference should matter at all. All that matters is that you are there for each other. It is fantastic that he is good with your other 3 children as well as his own and that does not come easy.

It is tough when you are suffering from anxiety and depression with young children and I can understand how that will lead to tensions in the relationship with him. I understand also that you would love to feel that you will be together forever and that it is making you feel less secure to have him say that he just prefers to stay as your boyfriend. I think the key here is to give it time. Try not to let the pressure you are under spill out onto him to make sure that you do not have further break ups. That is easier said than done I am sure. If you feel angry with him perhaps you could instead talk it through with a good friend or family member, or just take some time out to calm down. Do something nice with the kids like playing all together in the park and when you come back to the relationship you may feel able to keep calm and not fall out again.

Gradually if you are able to keep the relationship going without break ups you may find he changes his mind and can see a long term future for you both.

Do you have any therapy or counselling for your anxiety and depression, that could be really helpful, as could medication unless you have decided not to take it. You could talk that through with your GP.

Very good luck for the future, I really hope things work out for you both.

Kim

[Destinyweathers in reply to Kkimm]

Thank u this helped alot I am on medicine for my anxiety but not depression I'm nervous about taking lots of different medicines but i would like to see if they actually have something to help with depression that won't hurt me in the long run. And I am currently not talking to an therapists usually when i am having a bad day i talk to him but i feel all my mental issues is wesring his mental down we are currently still living together just not together and he's actually encouraged me to start dating to get a breath of fresh air longs I'm not gonna be with the person I'm dating i should get out and have fun from him for awhile and that's not what i want he says maybe were not combative he's a Gemini and I'm a Cancer but we have the best bond its just that my past relationships I was used to being abused mentally and i would shut down I wasn't used to talking things out i met him when i was 28yrs old and I'm still growing mentally to get better to be able to keep a man like him but now he feels we won't work.... Thank u so much I'll just stop pressuring him hoping he'll change his mind and see where is goes

[VanessaGail]

Hello, I read you comments and can understand your situation as I am a single mom as well. I take care of my kids, Am single and its what's best for us all. Haven't dated in 10 yrs bc there are a lot of dangerous guy out there that I don't want us around. I've had too accept that relationship was something that didn't work out for me and that's ok. Its not for everyone you know. My priorities are my kids and my healing and God. Don't let men have wife like duties on girlfriend prices. Some men bait women in that way, they try to trick women by not marrying them and making a slave like mother figure out of some women. You sell yourself short. Meanwhile, he is not legally bound to support you or your kids financially or even to stay faithful too you. I hope that you will think about the way you have been played and take control of your life. You don't have to be in that situation. Blessing to you.

[Destinyweathers in reply to VanessaGail]

Thank u so much😘

[Ragdoll15 in reply to VanessaGail]

Very wise words! I will show this to someone I know who is in the situation you describe.