Been beaten down trying to get up when knocked down on my ass

[Catt56]

After you read this, you just may realize many people have it worse than you. I renovated a rental home from last April -Nov 2018. It was a beast of a project & today when I think about it ; it’s all a blur... not sure how I did it, but somehow God gave me the strength to hold up. So, We sell the house on 13 March & on 14 March, my 55 year old husband suddenly dies in his sleep. The day before he died he was so happy, funny looked great even had lost 20 pounds. He even had just bought his dads car. His death is a huge shock to me. I’m grief stricken. He was buried a week ago on my birthday. These days I’m extremely fatigue emotionally, physically & spiritually. Just at my wits end. Please pray for his soul and for all the lives he left behind. I’m so broken hearted RIP Paul God bless you all🙏🙏🙏

[JLoInCali12]

So sorry for your loss

[hypercat54]

Catt I am so sorry for your sad loss, this must be devastating for you. x

[bazham]

Catt so sorry for your loss of Paul. Sending loving thoughts your way. 🌷

[Agora1]

Dearest Catt56, and just when we think life can't get worse...my sincerest sympathy

to you and your family. May your husband rest in peace. (way too young)

My concern now is for you to find peace in your heart and grieve in your own time.

This had to be quite a shock for you. Know that we are here as a virtual family to

support you and give you some comfort knowing you are not alone. Putting my

arms around you in a hug. xx

[kvolm2016]

I am so sorry for this tragic loss. It is always so difficult to accept when it is totally unexpected. Your feelings of physical, emotional and spiritual fatigue are completely normal. Feeling numb is the way I describe it. When you are ready, there are many good resources to read about the grieving process so you will know what to expect in the days and weeks to come. And again, when you are ready, a grief support group can be so helpful. I would be happy to share that info anytime. Please keep in touch here for encouragement!

[Catt56 in reply to kvolm2016]

Thank you Kvolm, I appreciate your support and kind words. Yes, I am very numb... “walking around like the 3 legged man in an ass kicking contest”.... it’s the lows of lows.... I went to see my psychologist today and she advised me try to 1) think of something happy each time Im sad and 2) write down something positive at the end of each day before bed. Kind of Blah, blah, blah, advice, huh? For today’s entry I will reference your heart felt post. God bless and thanks so much

[kvolm2016 in reply to Catt56]

Glad to hear that you are investing in a psychologist. Yes, it can seem like her advice is weak/lame but both are still good advice. I definitely think there is purpose in reframing or refocusing our thoughts from negative to positive ones. Especially when we are overwhelmed with emotions and short on the emotional strength to get out from under them. We still need the time and space to grieve and be in our sadness but we can't continue to live in that frame of mind. I personally find the gratitude journaling to be very helpful. Just like you stated at the beginning of your original post, you will come to realize that many other people have it worse than you. It doesn't feel like it right now for you because it is too soon. You are still at the start of the grieving process bit.ly/2JaR4Hw. Let's keep talking about these if you are interested.