First post

Well, I’ve been here for maybe a month or so, and this is my first post here. I’m maybe a little scared to, idk. I’m very depressed (hence why I’m here). My mind is wrought with thoughts of ending the pain I endure every freakin day. I play the scenarios out in my head. It’s an obsessive thought. I try to keep myself busy, occupy my mind, but it doesn’t always help. I feel so alone. I don’t have many people to turn to. They’re either all dead or don’t care. Plus, I don’t think they’d understand if they did. What to do other than seek another therapist? This sucks.

[Marshall64]

Have you ever looked into support groups? I go to a few in my area. You will be around other people who share the same thoughts and experiences. We also discuss medications and what works for us.

[Shasi_]

I definitely agree with Marshall64, speaking to a group of people who are willing to listen and may even share the same pain as you, can be very helpful when healing the mind. However, in your spare time, when you are alone and can't seem to find a distraction from those negative thoughts, rather than ignoring your pain embrace it. Accept that you are suffering and instead of letting yourself get immersed in these feelings of self-pity and self-hate, try and fight against them. Respect and love yourself. Remind yourself why it's worth dealing with pain, why life is worth living and enduring. You can't control how others act, but you can control how you choose to react to things, it's the second thought that makes you who you are. Your first thought might be your innate reaction to something, whilst your second thought is how you choose to go about it. Embrace your fears. Don't be afraid of hurting, it's what makes you human, both pain and love combined. You can message any member in this group here and we will hear you out. You just have to reach out. Also, remember that everyone is fighting their own war, sometimes reaching out and helping others can brighten up your day, even if you yourself may be suffering. Of course, I am not saying put your feelings aside, if you find yourself spiraling then definitely focus on working on yourself first, that is before you can help someone else. Message me whenever if you feel like venting to someone. I truly hope you do feel better and please do update us on how you're doing The reason some feelings get worse over time is because of time itself, the longer we are going through the same thing the more we feel like it has lasted forever and like our pain is endless, when in fact it isn't. Find something that inspires you something that excites and motivates you or simply dedicate time to an activity that may grow on you over a period of time. Replace your current thoughts with new ones, by experiencing new things. Change how you go about something in your daily schedule. Even the smallest of changes can make a difference.

[tmjourney]

Scarlet,

Would you let me call you and talk to you and pray for you? I have so much to say on what you are going through. I have had anxiety and repeat playing thoughts that never stop since I was a young girl. I am 21 years old now. I was medicated (that made things worse). I found God a few years ago and was able to get a hold of my anxiety. Recently, I had a horrible flare up with anxiety because my doctor told me they wanted to put me to sleep to have a bronchoscopy (2 days from now). I was so bad these last two weeks that I thought I was going to end up dead or in a psych ward. I lost 12 pounds in two weeks, couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep. I felt no one understood or cared about what I was going through. Despite doctors and people around me trying to pump me full of medication, I prayed and prayed and prayed to God. Finally, I am at peace again. I want you to know that I genuinely care about what you are going through and want to help you. I know how horrible it is to feel how you feel. I hope you are doing a bit better and I can’t wait to hear from you. God bless you

[Estherblue in reply to tmjourney]

The operation will be fine. Don't worry.

[tmjourney in reply to Estherblue]

Thank you so much. Please pray for me!

[Marshall64 in reply to tmjourney]

I'll be praying that everything goes well for you and that you find and maintain peace.

[tmjourney in reply to Marshall64]

Thank you so much. I need it!

[pink83737]

I know how you feel scarlet! I’m still struggling to cope with it.