My first post 8-18-2018

[KcCc]

Hello,

This is my first post!

I have suffered with anxiety and anxiety attacks, possibly bipolar as well as having PTSD possibly, being so nervous to be in Front of a group I get red splotches halfway down my face neck and chest, people looking directly at me when I talk makes me feel so sick at my stomach and makes me atually Trimble!

That’s on a personal basis but when it comes to work I can (not like before it worse now) put my mind at work and be confident, yet will be so nervous, but I can mostly still do it for work but on a personal level I can’t even go around people anymore except my family at home !

I guess that’s it for now but it is very much deeper!

One more thing that is new the last 4 months:

I Wake up every morning with so much anxiety, ( I say the word anxiety because the minute I wake up it’s like I can’t breathe, I’m overwhelmed and scared to leave the house and I am a happy person I believe I’m a smart individual, though every single morning the moment The moment I wake my mind races About every aspect in life “My Brain Want Stop!

One minute I’m OK for the rest of the day and then the next I’m not I don’t understand the doctors don’t listen I’ve never wanted nor taken medication because it’s not a cure but now that after all these years and I’m getting older I believe I’ve started Menopause Now, and after teaching myself how to keep control all those years all of a sudden I don’t think right I’m overwhelmed can’t function nor concentrate on one thing anymore Plus it’s more that I won’t Say now, but I’m a hard-working woman now I’m forgetting I forget everything I cannot control my anxiety doctors do not help me I can’t afford a Psycologist and that’s what I need!

Right now I’m so overwhelmed and she is sick so I got to go now

I don’t talk to people about this this is pretty scary I can’t believe I even got on here I am an overly private person!

Comments?

[IheartDogs]

Hello and welcome! It's really good that you reached out here, it's a very good support group. I'm so sorry to hear about everything you're going through. I know it can be a very tough place to be in but know that there always is a way to improve. You mentioned not wanting medication... it doesn't have to be something permanent but it can certainly help to get you on the right track. If you're not able to leave the house or do other daily functions, maybe you can consider medication. Have you been in therapy before? For panic attacks there's a very good YouTube video by David Carbonell called the panic trick. See if you find it helpful. Hoping you feel better soon!

[KcCc in reply to IheartDogs]

Thank you! Hearing the comments already sounds encouraging, great feeling! So glad I got on here!

Hearing your story let’s me know finally I found people who understand!

[hunter4ransom]

Welcome to the group KcCc.

You are safe here. No one will judge you or make you uncomfortable for openly sharing your feelings as you battle anxiety and/or depression as we are all battling here and completely relate.

I too get horrible morning anxiety and I’m on medication and see a psychologist once a week. From what I’ve learned, morning anxiety is most common due to chemicals (cortisol) in our body that alert us it’s time to wake up usually triggered by morning light. For those who don’t suffer anxiety, its a minor wake up call. For those who suffer anxiety (like us) that little bit of cortisol (stress hormone) sends us into overdrive with our anxiety causing the racing heart, cold tight chest, trembling, fear, utter dread, flood of unending negative thoughts, nausea, and the feeling of not wanting to go on another minute of this pure hell upon awakening. What a way to start our day, right? Just as our body has adapted to this new reaction upon waking up, we have to actively and mindfully reprogram our body to drop this routine of morning panic and replace it with a new routine. What new routine? That depends on the individual. For me it’s a combination of medication (medication alone doesn’t work), morning meditation (tons of great free videos on YouTube), self talk (“ok anxiety I feel your presence, but you have already told me all these things before and I don’t have to keep listening to you. I’m in charge of my thoughts and destiny, NOT YOU!”), and keeping a morning routine (no laying around in bed waiting for the dread and fear to pass, must get up and do any of the mentioned above strategies and get out of my bedroom.) There are certain routines that we become accustomed to when anxiety takes over and some of those routines are triggers. For me, it’s staying in my bed and watching TV all morning. This makes my anxiety linger far too long. I have to get up, get out, and have a plan for my morning whether it be work, a walk, a small chore, watering my garden, playing outside with my dogs, visiting my best friend, going to coffee shop for tea or coffee..... whatever it is I usually have to force myself, but always end up feeling better.

I’ve dealt with anxiety since I was a child. About 2 mo ago, after years of being stable and doing great, my anxiety kicked in worse than I’ve ever had to deal with before. It was life altering and very scary. I too did not want to be on medication as I had successfully weaned off Zoloft (after being on it for years) several months prior. I started therapy and realized with help that I needed to go back on medication. I’m glad I did. I’m so much better than I was 2 mo ago where death sounded better than the hell anxiety was wreaking in my life. Some mornings are worse than others, but I’m getting better and stronger with all my tools I’m using including coming to this group which has been a huge support. You will find your way and we are all here to encourage, support, listen, and walk beside you as you go through this journey.

You are no longer alone. You are amongst friends now.

😊☀️🌈Eileen

[KcCc in reply to hunter4ransom]

Wow,

Asweaome you have came so far with it.. Thank you “Your My Blessing Today”

I needed to hear what you commented WOW

RIGHT NOW I Have TEARS BUT

The first peak of hope!

Thank You!

I know God Didn’t give up on me now!

[hunter4ransom in reply to KcCc]

HE will never give up on you nor will we. Feel free to post or chat anytime, especially when you just need someone to ride out the storm with you. We’ve all been there.