Getting older with depression/anxiety

[Spooky99]

Hi everyone! I can’t seem to find a therapist to help. I’ve been suffering a long time with anxiety. Some weeks are better. But I have to say. I am completely obsessed with my skin. Fine lines, getting older! I look at other people and think “ are they my age” I don’t mean to sound selfish. I keep thinking of my bff who passed away and would love to have wrinkles etc . But I can not help it! I’m 52. I’m a product junkie. No therapist will help. Is there a sight to go on? Every morning I pick apart myself! It’s not normal. I compared myself to younger women. I get on my own nerves!!! Thanks for any help. I’m tiered of being this way.

[Hidden]

I dont have any good answers for you but Im sitting here smiling with understanding. Firstly I am sorry for the loss of your friend, that has to be devastating.

I will b 67 in a couple weeks. When I look in the mirror I see a saggy face, turkey gobbler neck, pouchy tummy, legsugh...ugh. I do the same as you, look at others my age and think “ do I look that bad?”.

My answer is quit looking in the mirror so much. When we focus on ourselves and what we are not, what we wish we were, etc... we are wasting valuable time we cannot get back.

Sometimes the best way to feel better is to reach out to someone in need. Helping others really helps ourselves. Keep your eyes open and off yourself and see what you see. I apologize if this is offensive, Im really speaking to myself. 💜 Hugs

[Konagirl01]

Although I am only 41 I can still relate to what you are saying. I think I have always put too much stock in appearance and somehow feel a little worthless if I don’t look Instagram model perfect all the time (which I don’t). I think for me, social media makes it worse because everyone is “filtered” and only posting their most flattering pictures of themselves. Sometimes I think I’m having a midlife crisis but I guess it comes with the territory. What I’ve done lately is limit my social media time or take breaks altogether by deleting my FB app from my phone for a couple of weeks. I say positive affirmations and listen to uplifting podcasts. I bombard my brain with positivity and tell myself every single day that I’m beautiful and youthful. It can’t hurt right? 🤷🏼‍♀️😅.

[Hidden in reply to Konagirl01]

You are so right! I love that💜. Sometimes I take intentional bad pics of myself and post on fb just to make a statement like “ who cares”. Im sure my adult kids do eye rolls...

[Konagirl01 in reply to Hidden]

I love that!!!

[kitty7]

Hi Spooky99: I can really relate to you and your anxiety. Being older than you I want to say please don't continue on the way you are but I know you can't stop just like that. Because I was attractive when I was younger it really bothers me when no one even looks at me. I'm over 70 years old and I don't look that bad so my husband tells me. Hoski has the right idea about helping others it gives you a sense of "wrinkles" or not I can do something good and my appearance is secondary. Will you give it a try? Regards.

[Spooky99 in reply to kitty7]

Thank you! Your sweet! Yes I will ❤️

[ivy0]

Hi Spooky! We’re so tough on ourselves, aren’t we?? We would never let our friends do it to themselves, but we do it to us!

I wonder if you’ve thought about online therapy? I think talkspace, etc do free trials....... it’s nice to have the option to vent when you need and then get professional feedback.

Be well tonite.

[Spooky99 in reply to ivy0]

Thank you! Very good idea!!! ❤️

[stones67]

Hi Spooky,

I too have suffered a long time with major depression, anxiety & social anxiety. I'll be 53 this July. Please don't compare yourself to younger people. Nobody can be young forever as we all grow older. I know it's probably easy to say, but you needn't worry about lines & wrinkles & picking yourself apart is useless. Don't be so tough on yourself. I'm sure you're a beautiful woman both on the inside & outside.