“Hello darkness my old friend “ I battle sever depressive disorder (diagnosis is too) I have ZERO family support and no friends. I just want to know that someone relates- I NEED to know that I’m not alone. I know I have no value to anyone but my son 🥺 soo can’t “leave him” I can’t function currently and am crippled with depression, loneliness and hurt that I don’t have enough worth for anyone to care🥺🥺 excruciating pain. How does one learn
To overcome this? It’s been 8 years now for me and I fight every day and even win the battle some days but the war never ends. I just need 1 person to genuinely relate and care- they don’t have to do things for me- just care. How do you keep up without human support? (Yes, I’ve been under Dr’s care since 2013) Any advice from experience would be greatly appreciated and maybe even life changing. Thank you in advance for listening to my lengthy words. I’m in a very dark place , currently. Also, crippling anxiety but figured that just goes with the depression.
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Utterlyalone
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Hi I can relate with your anxiety and depression and feeling alone even though I do have family and friends they don’t understand , unless one has this no one can relate outside of this ! Just wanted to say you are not alone in this and the struggles let me know if you need to talk . 😊
You helped when I read your post, BTW- it was my feelings you were writing. That told me that someone understands. Thank you again! We will get through it evidently- I’ve never lost that hope
I’m feeling like you. I have therapists but feel like no one is helping me when I try to tell how I feel he cut me and give me his opinion doesn’t give the chance to express the reality I’m felling. I’m paying for nothing. I’m struggling with my anxiety depression and panic attacks and feel hopeless they think this is easy to get out I understand that I have to work with this but No feel my therapist is no helping me… no one can understand how we feel unless they go thru.😒
Again, my heart literally aches for you! I can’t speak for everyone but that has been a very common experience. They are going by their educational on the subject but whey sis less the patients feelings (that are real, valid and at times even dangerous- there needs to be change within the mental health physician’s counselor’s. I read a great article about a neuroscientist of 30 years! Dedicated her life to the study of the brain, the most complex organ. All those years couldn’t prepare her for her own experience with the brain malfunctioning (for whatever her reason was, different from ours but she explains it isn’t in the fact that once it breaks, you can never be prepared for the actual part as the Patient. Her name is Barbara Lipska. Very interesting read. Thank you again for the kind words- they are uplifting in ways I can’t express in words.
Utterleyalone...i am where you are.No family, hubby at home doesnt care.It is silence.Now my best neighbor i never see but can count on moviing.MS fatigue pain...Im tired.Every day is a fight and i rely on the Lord alot.I hope the sun comes thru and breaks into joy.We deserve joy. im here...barely but i do get it.
I have a husband also. He isn’t concerned with my struggle either. I understand you in that. I’m sorry that you do have someone human that you can count on andThey are moving. I hope you stay in contact with them. I too rely on the Lord. Thank you for caring and uplifting me too.
Hi Utterlyalone,
I can relate, but first things first, you have us and me. You can PM if you wish or just respond here in the group. I have family out of state that text messages me here and there and parents that live not to far but a mother who only wants to know what's going on in my life to gossip about and not to help. My out of state sisters are just that, out of state and far from me too. Colorado, Texas and Tennessee. I live in California so in short I don't get to be around family. As far as personal friends they are all gone. I isolated so much that I alienated them they took it personal. I have to make a tough decision whether to continue talking with my toxic mother or cut her loose. Also, I need to make a friend or two and start living again regardless of how I am feeling. I must push through and get past it all. Staying active and keeping my mind busy on anything else than myself really helps keep me sane. I hope this helps out and seriously keep reaching out on here. People on here care!
I am glad that you have someone, even I’d not in the best circumstances. I agree with finding a person or 2 to do things with. I’m on disability, never leave my house. I wouldn’t know where to even start and anyone that I knew I’m the past couldn’t comprehend the person that I am now. I stay focused on positive things, have cut off any negativity in any way from me because it effects me. But sometimes- it still overtakes me. Makes me bedridden day and night for a week, 2 weeks at the time. I get angry with my husband for simply not caring, feel tremendous guilt for the child I do still have at home (rest are grown) my storms should never wet my child. That mothers guilt is HEARTBREAKING to me, yet I can’t stop the tears to even pretend. Front of him so I hide from my baby boy 13 years old) I pray that a friend is sent to me. My lifelong bff was a psych nurse- long before my breakdown- her image to maintain overrode all of her knowledgeZ live in a very sad state when it deals with mental health. Thank you for listening- it’s a relief just to say it to somebody🥺🥺 and the kindness you have spoken- for me, that alone goes a long way.
I’m sorry to hear this. I have struggled with anxiety and panic disorder all my life… please try to find someone (counselor/talk therapist) to talk to and for your soul, try to find something you enjoy doing… drawing, painting, volunteering, walking, something that is yours. Good luck, I hope it helps you.
I’ve been very proactive in my treatment- I wasn’t always this person. I sought help and never let up. I’m still under Dr’s care, counseling . Some Im tea , most times it’s a different feeling when someone is being paid to listen- I need genuine kindness, love, encouragement. I love so many things but currently can’t do any of them. I know this cycle will pass. But even in my happy moments (I have the gift of laughter) I’m still alone . But this, hiding in my bed, drowning in my own tears and my mind running away to the darkest things for days, weeks- I know is unhealthy. I tried today- got up (in my Pj’s🤷♀️. Went out to my Garden that I planted so happily just 2 weeks ago. I sat there proud, sun shining on me/ much needed vitamin D but with 19 minutes, tears were uncontrollable and back to my hiding spot I went.. I will make it through this, not the first time- just the first time I’ve reached out online for support? From people that understand me🥺🥺 my heart hurts reading all of your pains too because I understand
You have come to us and now you are no longer alone, you have us, but can I first suggest you lock your posts to this community?
Otherwise it can get out onto social media, and if you want to discuss private matters it could become a problem for you, A moderator or Admin can help you do this.
We are a friendly and supportive Forum here and we all have our own demons we fight daily, although some of us are doing better than others at the moment.
Wow- that is very much appreciated. It will definitely take me time to figure out this group/ forum. I wouldn’t know how to even do that. I only want my messages and reply’s here because it seemed like the place that just made sense for me. I’m not against advocating for mental health on the largest scale but for the purpose of my struggles currently, I don’t want it all over the internet. I would when I can finally figure out the formula and could help others or simply advocate mental health because it just doesn’t seem priority and it really should be. People lose the battle to it every day.
How do I lock my post here? Im for telling my story to others and for reasoning of mental health is nowhere where it needs to be in our society and the stigma that goes with it. But until then, it is my story to share, how deep I choose to share and I’m here for a support systemAnd offer support as well.
I wish I had sage advice.. You are lucky to have your son.. For many medical reasons I can't have kids.. I'm ok with it.. We are here whenever you want to reach out.. You can always message me off the posts, to talk 😘
So kind, I’m sorry you couldn’t have children. I could, had 2. My grown daughter got the ore breakdown mother, my baby, my son (whose father (my ex husband) was suddenly killed when he was only 5) if it weren’t for my LOVE for my Angel boy- I would have been left this world. I won’t and couldn’t do it to him though.
Thank you and my post was supposed to say my daughter got the “pre- breakdown “ I’ll figure this out- until then, please- have a laugh in the thighs I will either typo error or autocorrect. LOL a they are always with me too! 😅
Hi, I’m sorry you feel so utterly alone and worthless. Please take on board but it really isn’t true. You really are worth far more than you are feeling now- it’s just that evil depression making you think that way! You have always got friends on this site. Never feel you’re alone on here .
🥺🥺❤️ thank you- I’m not hard to please and those words did invoke tears but for relief purposes. I’ve waiting 8 years to hear those words! I have to figure this forum out but I sure hope to because fromWhat I see- many get exactly what I’m saying and by experience not textbook. I’m very educated on my illness but it can’t composer to living it- only someone that lives through it can. Thank you
We can only tell you what helps us.. your son is enough. Some people have nobody. Your son is enough to make you keep fighting! Things that help me., breathing exercises daily when you can fit them in. I’m sure you can find something you like on YouTube. My medicine, mine is a beta blocker and klonopin for 33 years. I have tried 7-8 antidepressants and it was worse. I don’t have depression just anxiety. 30-40 minutes of daily cardio exercise. And a 5-10 minute cool shower with the goal of a pure cold shower or bath. Online you can look up all you need to verify these things are helpful. We are here rooting for you and your family!
My Don is my ONLY reason for breathing. I love him so MUCH! I want him to have a Mama he deserves, he is the best kid. I do all of those thing you have mentioned. I’m always on a quest to quite the beast within me. It’s mostly music. My son is homeschooled so he only has me and I feel so guilty for putting my needs above his. I never want him to feel lonely and with himHaving no friends, family- he stays very close to me and needs me, depends on me for his mother, friend, laughing partner, games- even when if feel I can’t do it that day- I push through that because his needs are so important and Mothers guilt will take me down to the deepest, darkest place. I know I’m talking so much but my GOD- for the first time, I feel free of shame, free of judgement and SOMEONE (looks like several) genuinely understand me because we share the same battles. I can’t thank you all enough! Kindness, compassion, understanding and Love is all it takes for me. Every living thing needs not and
I’ve lacked it for so long (not including children, that isn’t their burden to carry- I want them emotionally stable, strong foundation and not to have to tend to their mother)
*Som * not Don😏 between my transient vision loss, good old fashion typos without proofing and autocorrect/ I willHave you all scratching your heads trying to put my puzzle pieces together. 🥴
Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry you are struggling. I can relate to the struggles with depression. It is sad that others who have never experienced anxiety and depression can not understand and just tell us to snap out of it. You know, as well as I do, if we could wouldn't we have already done that.
I have struggled on and off for over 25 years. Sometimes I think it is finally gone and then it creeps back into my life. I even studied to be a healthy life coach and I learned tools to help me when I am struggling. What I haven't found is how to stop the spiraling but I am still working on that.
What I understand so far is we haven't learned mental health care. What I mean by that is doing mental health hygeine before we get to the painful state. This video brought some awareness to me. (bit.ly/3r3fczH) I hope will give you some insight as well.
Please feel free to reach out and pm me to chat. I would love to be a support to you. I will be praying for you. Hugs and God Bless
If I had a penny for everytime I was told to “snap out of it” I may could purchase happiness- idk. What I do know is that nobody would CHOOSE at his and if we could Snap out of it then a diagnosis wouldn’t be needed because that isn’t mental illness depression. I get that I’m their minds and experience with circumstantial sadness, that is exactly what helps them. It’s just not the same and I even im the best intentions, it causes further harm to one’s genuinely battling
Just remember those of us who struggle with depression can feel better. It may not be all the time, but I have to remind myself often, I didn't cause this and I will feel better. I do pull out of depressive episodes. My goal is to figure out how to avoid spiraling again. I am really working on awareness of my thoughts, how I treat myself, the way I cope with stress, and the word choices I say to myself. All these things really matter for mental health. It was shared to me this way, we have learned how to have hygeine for our teeth, but what about for our mind? What hygeine do we do for our minds? It starts with being curious and not judgemental with ourselves. To give ourselves breaks and not be so hard on ourselves. To find things that went well in our day and not the things did not go well or did not accomplish. A really good tool is doing a celebrations journal. I list only the things that went well in that journal and I call it a celebration for the day. I will continue to pray for you. Hugs
It is hard to keep fighting depression without any support. I to have family members that do not understand nor try to. Some people just cannot understand something if they do not go through it themselves. My parents have medical issues and all that matters to them is themselves not myself. I stumbled upon this website; it truly helps me. There are many people that will gladly listen and if you want; give you support and advice. I hope you have a great day.
I'm sorry you don't have much of a support system right now. Is there a way you (and maybe your son too) could join some kind of organization like a book club, a religious organization, a philosophy club, or something similar? That may be a way to make more connections and have a bigger system of support.
It is a very negative name now that you said change your name. I like the accountability of that. The “hold on sweetheart, I see a big negative that came be changed without armingYour current state. Love that- open to suggestions- that was awesomeness in seeing
What I didn’t because I’m
I’m
The RUT, but the outside perspective you immediately saw one thing- that depressing name that needs altering! I hope you are better, well, feel joy within you and thank you again? Sometime I need an accountability partner I’m these thingsA like no sister- that name is speaking out what you are working against👏🙌🙌 may seem small
I have. My brother is a pastors. The judgement and cruelty within my own very Christian family has made it almost impossible to get involved as far as a Seoul at church because if I have a hard day- week that they can’t understand, I’m afraid it wil be the same scenario over. My brother still don’t talk to me and it’s been 8 YEARS. 🥺
Your brother? How hurtful. That alone could be depressing. Here's a lesson for all of us:
A man suffering from depression visited a doctor for help. The story goes that after a careful examination the doctor said: “You need amusement; go & hear the comedian Grimaldi; he will make you laugh, and that will be better for you than any drugs.” Looking even more dejected, the man replied, “I am Grimaldi!”
I also crave and need human interaction but with someone that understands or at least show kindness, compassion to me during those times. It’s crippling.
Maybe try volunteering at a food bank? Or an animal shelter to help care for the animals? Helping others that need help, often helps me get through. I hope this helps you.
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