In-laws: Hi Everyone, My husband and I... - Anxiety and Depre...

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In-laws

Francis2019 profile image
7 Replies

Hi Everyone,

My husband and I have been struggling lately and some of it revolves around my anxiety and OCD. The other part of it is that my husband works 13 hours a day and travels quite a bit for work. We also have two small children. We had a particularly bad fight today about my health, and he told me he is going to tell his parents about my mental illness. We have not had a great relationship with his parents for over a decade. They have been a huge source of my anxiety over the years. Many times, we haven’t seen them for months and months. They are very old fashioned and have been quite damaging. He said he needs support from people while going through this with me, but they are the last people I want to know about my mental illness struggles. They would never understand and I fear they would do something cruel with the information. I feel so gutted and hurt that he would tell his parents even when I told him it would hurt me to the core. What should I do about this? I don’t mind him telling his close friends and getting support from them, but how on earth do I stop him from telling his parents? If he does tell them, what do I do? It is the ultimate betrayal for me.

Thank you!

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Francis2019 profile image
Francis2019
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7 Replies
Eowyn7 profile image
Eowyn7

I don't know your situation but I think he should respect your wishes. The only exception imo would be if you were hospitalized or something. Otherwise your health stuff should be your decision to disclose, mental or physical.

Y3llowr0s3 profile image
Y3llowr0s3

Why would he want to make things harder for you with his parents? I agree with Eowyn7. He should respect your wishes.

porcupyne profile image
porcupyne

Wow

Unfortunately you can’t control what he does. Seek a therapist that can help you through the consequences. You need help

Your hubby is scared that’s why he is threatening to tell . I myself would not engage with his parents it’s none of their business! Walk away!

Francis2019 profile image
Francis2019 in reply to porcupyne

Thank you for your response. We have a therapist, but we don’t see her for another week. I made it very clear to him that there would be some serious consequences if he tells his parents. It would absolutely break my trust with him and I am not sure how I can come back from that. I guess that’s where therapy comes into play. I just hope he doesn’t tell them before we see her next week. It’s not my fault that I have anxiety and OCD. I am doing everything possible to get well.

porcupyne profile image
porcupyne

Hopefully he loves you enough to come to his senses

Esther228 profile image
Esther228

I’m so sorry that you are going through such a tough time. I see that you posted that you will be going to see a therapist, soon. I hope that you start to feel some comfort in knowing that you have others who are wishing you well and hoping that you feel better.

One thing that I have learned over the years is that you don’t have any control over what other people do, only in how you respond to them. Keep focusing on getting better and try not to look at anything that would distract you from your goal to wellness. I am sure thinking of you!

Francis2019 profile image
Francis2019 in reply to Esther228

Thank you and that’s true. I don’t have control of what other people do or say. I still hope he respects my wishes. It certainly isn’t easy going through this, and the stigma that is still associated with mental illness hasn’t gone away. I wish we could start a movement to change it to brain health. Actually, let’s do that!

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