All time low...

[HeyItsThatKidd]

Today....is the lowest I've ever felt. I'm groggy, I'm walking slow....I'm talking horrible sluggish....No amusement. The only thing that's good is the delicate breeze outside on this day it's damn near my favorite kind of day but I can't enjoy any of it. I can't lift my mood and I can't heal....I set up an appointment with myself, my mother and my therapist for tomorrow at 12Noon. I plan to let out everything about how I feel about just get it all out....That's what the 3 psychiatrist I've seen has said I needed to do. I didn't believe it but the most recent one told me the harsh reality of my situation and I'm just even more terrified, anxious and down right..... out of it....all I can do is lay here and wonder what's next......It's killing me..... Almost literally at this point.....I've lost hope in this moment and I've lost all will to fight on. I just wanna get through this appointment tomorrow....idk what I'm gonna do after the appointment but I have a feeling it won't solve anything. It'll just help me pour out my feelings....The doctors in the ER said medicine can't help how I'm feeling. The only thing that meds can help is my OCD Traits.....They just said I gotta talk to my mom about the severity of the situation and how I'm doing in my own head.....I love you all here and everyone who helped me....Thank you....But....I may not post......Unless I need to or unless it's necessary.....

[Agora1]

That Kidd, my heart is filled with hope today, that a long awaited appointment

is coming tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a very important step in that you will be

able to get all your fears out in the open. It's been too much for you to carry alone.

Go to the appointment with an open mind and heart. A professional will listen and

know where to direct you. I'll be with you in thought. PM me anytime. I support you.

[HeyItsThatKidd in reply to Agora1]

Well at least one of us is Hopeful....

[Agora1 in reply to HeyItsThatKidd]

I have enough hope for both of us.

It's a start in the right direction.

[Hidden]

Just wanted to say I’m sorry for how you feel right now , heyitsthatkid..

Truly hope things improve for you very soon..and they can 💕🌺🌺

[ksquig]

Wishing you support with your appointment today. It’s sounds like a big step for you.

[mvillarreal]

I'm sorry your feeling this way. Do you have any animal companions? I know for me, sometimes my furry friends can help me when I'm feeling extremely low.

[Agora1]

HeyItsThatKidd, how did you appointment go today??

[HeyItsThatKidd in reply to Agora1]

I'm gonna message you personally

[art62grammie]

I know how you are feeling about mental doctors and therapy. I have been there for six years and continue to go for my issues. It is very hard to talk to doctors and tell them your issues. I went to a mental doctor for the first time to heal my Anorexia. I had been ill for forty years. Talking to a perfect stranger is not easy. I would be dead if I had not put my trust in a perfect stranger. I take 75mg of Zoloft daily. It is not a lot of medication. There is no wonder pill that can heal. It requires lots of talking and therapy. I went to my mental doctor every week for the first year into treatment for Anorexia. I also had seen my therapy every week for the first year too. So twice a week for one full year. It took a lot to help me recover. I still continue to go every 2 months to keep recovering. I had been mentally ill for forty years. It will always be a life-long treatment for me. I find my Zoloft helps with OCD that Anorexics have with obsessing over food. It helps me as well to deal with PTSD from the rape memories of my childhood. It works wonders but talking is much more effective than any drug. Love you and talk. It heals. Believe in you and trust the doctors. It takes the right one to help you heal. Enjoy life and laugh. Love and fight like the dickens to win.

[MsJazzy]

I'm so sorry that you are struggling so much. I pray that your therapy session was beneficial. You would be amazed at how talking and sharing your feelings can be helpful. This is a wonderful initial step. I pray that you will continue to persevere and go to more therapy sessions, as the road to recovery can be long, but it is certainly worth it. Always be honest with your therapist and be consistent with your appointments, despite how you feel.