Sorry not too sure where to start or how to start .....
I am new to this site and I have spent a very long time trying to find someone who understands and can relate to how I feel. I have suffered from Anxiety, Stress and Depression for a very long time and I just want to live a normal, happy life with no worries, feeling poorly or constantly in fear.
I have family and friends ( mainly friends ) who try and support me but they don't fully understand and I feel so alone. I have gone from a lively, outgoing person that loved to go out and now I would give anything just to be on my own and away from everyone.
I just want to be genuinely happy and not have to pretend all the time because putting on a front to people has made me lose who I am. I dread going to work because getting in cars and travelling anywhere makes me physically poorly a lot of the time - sweating, feeling sick, tight chest, stomach pains and just wanting to cry. Going out in busy places I just want to get away as soon as possible. I don't look forward to anything anymore worrying if I will be poorly and what other people may think.
I am just looking for people I can help and can help me by sharing any advice. I have recently bought some CBT books and journals to help but any tips that might help would be welcome
thank you
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missmay12
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15 Replies
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You have came to the right place. Everyone on here has a story and will try to help as much as they can. My story is I have health anxiety and and ache pain or anything out of ordinary I think something is wrong with me. PTSD from a tornado I was in and OCD like crazy. Got any question or just want to talk just ask
Hey, I am also super new on here, although I don't suffer from anxiety, I have severe depression. I still don't cope with it well to be honest, but I think reaching out for help is the first step in overcoming any mental issues such as depression or anxiety. I absolutely relate to the putting up a front part, I do it too all the time, and it really starts to eat you up inside over time. Know that you are not alone in this, no matter what.
I feel like this posts explains me completely. What I like to do is read. I absolutely love reading. It’s like my little escape. There are days where I don’t want to leave the bed and I end up crying myself to sleep. There are days where I can get up but it’s like I’m a robot. There are days where I’m actually not that bad. They are rare. But they r there.
Thank you for all your reply’s it means a lot and helps when you have other people you can relate to because like I said earlier I don’t feel like anyone I know can relate and feel I can’t talk to them as much as I wear my heart on my sleeve and an open book.
My stems from many years of not dealing with events that have happened in my life because I felt that strength was mainly just getting on with it rather than dealing with it properly.
I was in an abusive relationship with an older guy when I was 15 then in my current relationship it’s not been great and had no end of issues, I got robbed of my chance to grieve for my nana a couple years back by one of my “best friends” who pretended she had cancer and used to harm herself for attention then send me pictures and suicide notes but later found out on these occasions she was fine. My Nan passing was particular hard because the friend I mentioned told me her dad had died the day after and I stopped my grief to help her and he’s still alive.
Welcome and I hope you find help and relief. Like you, I've suffered with anxiety, panic attacks, and depression for many years. I would give just about anything to be "normal" and able to start each day without thinking about death or some other scary/depressing thing. Would also love to have days of of feeling calm, secure, and reasonably happy. I've been on Wellbutrin for quite a while now that that helps with the depression. Recent bouts of panic caused my doctor to prescribe busporine and that does seem to relieve a great deal of the anxiety. Nothing I've tried totally cures the problem but I am grateful for the relief I get. It is somehow comforting to be on a site like this and realize I am not alone in this and that there is hope and help out there. My advice to you is to find a good psychiatrist/psychologist and see if they can help. I spent some time in counseling and learned relaxation techniques to help me manage my condition. I still see a counselor for "touch ups" every now and then just to keep things under control. So, for me to live a reasonable productive life, I take meds and seek counseling when needed.
Hey there. I'm sorry you are going through this and I hope things will get better for you. I will share some strategies which helped me fight depression a few years back. Ultimately they helped me to overcome it. First of all, start a journal and put into words everything you feel exactly as you feel it. Then start a gratitude journal - I used to write 3 things I was grateful for at the end of each day. Another daily task - smile for at least 5 minutes every day. Force it. Seriously, force the smile but do it. The act itself releases "good" hormones. Another thing - get up and decide it's going to be a good day. Make yourself believe it and in time it will become the truth. Something crucial for me, and perhaps for you... was to learn how to forgive the people who have hurt me. I realise it sounds odd and maybe even absurd but the negative feelings you store in yourself impact you and your mentality. This was particularly difficult for me to achieve so I read about a meditation technique for forgiveness. And it worked - once I did it a few times and forgave everyone I felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. Another thing - help people... or animals, whatever. Just help someone or something as often as you can - it will make you feel amazing.
I know what you are doing through and I can assure you that it can get better and even go away but you have to do the work. The toughest thing I had to realise in my battle with depression was that my happiness depends on me. I believe it's a choice and you have to make it every day.
Hi missmay12! My best advice to you as a panic, anxiety, depression, ocd and occasional agoraphobe, is to start practicing acceptance. Do not fight what you have by comparing yourself to "normal people." You have an illness. Just like any physical illness, it is not your fault that you have this. Do not allow others to judge you. Your anxiety does not define you, but it can control you. I'm not sure how old you are but remember, symptoms come and go, the disorder changes all the time. You'll have good days and you'll have horrible ones. Get a therapist and if you can't control your symptoms, well good news, there's medications for that! A good Psychiatrist, a good Therapist and loving and supportive people around you are key! Try to keep somewhat busy if you're able. Eat well, take walks. If this relationship you're in is toxic, then consider moving on from it. Better to be alone than with someone who doesn't care or who mistreats you. Have courage! Take care of you! We all understand what you're going through! You are not alone! And you will be OK!
Ps. You mentioned happiness. Being happy is a nice sentiment, but is anybody truly happy all the time? As for me, I would settle for stable and content! Yes, there are blips of happiness here and there, it does exist, but to be overcome with happiness all the time is a TV show, a Disney movie, a fairy tale. Focus on becoming stable. The happy moments will come!
Realize that your needs for love and support were not met by your family. You can't do anything about that except understand that was a failure on their part, not yours. Family is supposed to love and support unconditionally. Understand what your needs are and verbalize them to the people in your life that have supported you the most. Those are the folks that matter. These are my needs. This is what I want from our relationship. I need support because I'm feeling insecure. Those are the things I verbalize now. It took a long time to learn. I understand now why I have stress, anxiety and depression. When I have a trigger, I focus on not freaking out internally, but what I need at the moment. I am strong. I am smart. No matter what anyone says to me, I know those things to be true.
So sorry for the way that you have been feeling. I understand the feelings of wanting to be alone and away from people because of anxiety. Counseling was one of the most helpful things for me. Are you seeing a counselor or psychiatrist ?
It seems like you have a lot going on and a lot to sort through. I am glad that your family wants to be supportive too. Maybe a counselor would be able to help them understand how to best support you. Or, it could be that best support would be a professional with others coming alongside you to fill other roles. Hope that helps.
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