Anxious procrastinator

[Margo1120]

Hey there, I'm new to this group. I'm new to the whole online support group thing. So I'm not quite sure how my first post should read. But here goes...

I'm a 36 year old female who looks (& acts) as a functioning, normal person who goes to work at a job she loves, has a house that she is quite content in (even though it can't compare to many of my friends' houses), loves & lives for her dogs & nephew, is the first person to help others (emotionally, physically, whatever way she can), is the first person friends come to for help (watching their kids, moving homes, needing a person to vent to & ask for help, etc.), is described as the fun, funny, helpful, loyal friend who you can trust to always be there for them & their kids & who loves with all of her heart & soul... but who secretly lives with & suffers from a handful of mental illnesses that people probably wouldn't believe bc I hide them so well.

Lately my biggest problem is that my anxiety is out of control & I procrastinate everything. Idk why. Has anyone else let their lives go to shit bc they can no longer open mail, make calls, keep their house spotless, get anxious even just thinking about leaving the house while simultaneously feeling anxious bc you're in your house but not doing anything productive & continue to spiral down? It's like I have no desire to do the things I used to mindlessly do.

Umm, thanks (in advance) to anyone who takes (or wastes) their time reading this & responds. I feel like I just babbled about a bunch of nonsense, but I'm not sure what I should or shouldn't include in my first post. Is this how I should end my first post?🤷‍♀️ Lol ☮♥️

[Xena13]

Hi!! I hope this site will be helpful... you are not alone!! You have a lot going on. It sounds like there is so much that therapy and meds can do for you. I have been where you are. You can heal... give yourself permission to get help and begin getting better!😀

[Margo1120 in reply to Xena13]

Thank you for trying to understand me & for your positive motivation. Knowing you (& a few others) took your time to read my post & leave me with your kind words means more to me than you know. 😊

[SKW2711]

Hey I feel exactly what you are experiencing as I am at the ER now because my chest is tight, thoughts are racing.

Lately I have been having fears of Having a Heart attack an Die!! Its extremely hard for me to calm my thoughts. Im so sick of having these thoughts an attacks out of the blue! 😢

[Margo1120 in reply to SKW2711]

I am so sorry to hear that. I can totally relate to the way you feel. It’s got to suck having to admit yourself into the ER. I’ve never gone to the ER for my anxiery.

I know how some people see us & that makes us more anxious. Like people in the waiting room. The valet. Maybe even the people who check you in. (aka: your insurance. lol).

If we’re fidgeting, they find us annoying. If we just keep to ourselves, we must be stuck up. Now if our breathing is shallow, people often take notice. Then our illness becomes “real” to them. I imagine you wait a while to be seen, huh? Then your anxiety really makes you freak out. Oh, the joys of anxiety 😉

I’m sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I didn’t even check to see if anyone read my post; let alone reply. Until now. I hope you’re feeling better. Sending good vibes your way!

[teemo1]

Hi Margo,

There's no right or wrong way to post; we all just come on here and say what's on our minds and ask questions, just like you did! I have the same problem with procrastination. I procrastinate because I'm anxious, and then I feel anxious because I procrastinated.

[Margo1120 in reply to teemo1]

Hi! Thank you for taking the time to read my post & reply! This is the first time I’ve gone back since I posted. I assumed my post would just sit there. Maybe get a few glances if a word or two caught someone’s eye...then skip the rest bc it’s entirely too long. You’re reply actually made me think that this online support thing may be worth a shot.

I’m sorry to hear that you suffer the same way I do. Don’t get me wrong...our “procrastination anxiety” sucks. It’s effecting our lives more than it sounds like it would. Like most other things in life, it’s difficult to understand the true capacity of its negative impact on our lives unless they’ve experienced it. That’s not a fault in anyone who doesn’t suffer &/or understand it. It’s simply how people are programmed. I wish no one else had to live with this, but (I have to say), it’s comforting knowing I’m not the only one. Thank you. Sending positive thoughts your way!