Help: Hi, I am so alone. I can't seem... - Anxiety and Depre...

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meerkat45
meerkat45

Hi,

I am so alone. I can't seem to make a go of anything anymore.

I have been jobhunting for over 2 years and can't seem to get a job and it's killing me, all the rejection and the radio silence from companies I've applied to. I've had recruiters half my age tell me my skills are outdated, which is not the case. Companies seem to be asking for the moon, no one person can do all what they are expecting nowadays.

I'm not proud, I've applied for cashier positions in retail and still not getting a call back.

Is it just me or do others feel this way?

15 Replies
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hi its defo not just you.i was claiming sickness benefit for some years but wanted to try get back into work again to test myself.i tried and tried but got nothing back in return hardly got an interview either so I started volunteering again and found my way back into work that way.also getting your cv written by a professional also helps.

meerkat45
meerkat45 in reply to kenster1

Thank you, Kenster1.

I am just unmotivated to try and impress anyone. I have always been able to get a job in the past. The last 12 years have been one crazy work environment after another. I have such social anxiety at times that it is hard to put myself out there to even just volunteer.

I used to have a great life with lots of friends and felt like I was actually contributing. The pressue of job hunting 8 hours a day has just worn me down. I thougrht it would be easier to get work now that I'm back in the US, but it seems not to be the case.

I get interest from companies and recruiters but I seem to be the one who isn't chosen. Which leaves me feeling even worse off than before. More often than not I have to chase up the hiring manager or recruiter, only to be told that the job has gone to someone else after they've kept me waiting for months on end.

I applied for one job in May and the company only got back to me in December. Hiring managers sometimes never get back to me, even after telling me I'm perfect for the particular role.

I have no real friends in this area anymore. I don't feel like I belong anywhere anymore.

I feel so lost. I'm the one who used to get jobs for other people, and they can't even return the favor. One friend who I've known for about 15 years says she hasn't a clue what I do for a living, and she even helped me with my cv!

Sunnidayz1
Sunnidayz1 in reply to meerkat45

Ive worked for an employment agency and it sounds like the same thing keeps on happening over and over again to you. You may need to brush up on your interviewing skills. It sounds like you get interviews and jobs are available but you cant land one. Dont feel bad I need to brush up on my interviewing skills too..lol

meerkat45
meerkat45 in reply to Sunnidayz1

I really think there is ageism going on. I'm in my late 50s and though I don't look it or act it, I just think they want someone younger. I don't have kids or a partner, so I'd be available and loyal, but they can't seem to see that.

Sunnidayz1
Sunnidayz1 in reply to meerkat45

That makes sense but if you dont look it or act like it then how is it a problem? If go into an interview thinking that they want someone younger you'll never get the job. You want to present a confident and your best self at every single interview.

meerkat45
meerkat45 in reply to Sunnidayz1

Thank you. I think they think that they want someone younger who would be willing to work for less money. I just want to getting a salary.

I was living and working in London for one of those years with no job, few wanted to go to the trouble and cost of applying for a visa for me.

Do some voluntary wok to keep yourself busy

Thank you for the suggestion.

I do think there is an age bias once you get into your 50's. And younger people can usually be hired for less. Last time I looked for work I dumbed down my resume and only listed my last 10 years work history so I wouldn't give away my age and I got more interviews that way...got lucky and found a pretty good job in 9 weeks. Change up your resume....and find your motivation...you've got to have hope.....hard to do after two years but it will work out if you keep trying and regain some enthusiasim. You know you can do this.

I know what you are going through. I'm sorry you are experiencing it too. I have applied for countless jobs over the past year and a half. I have received a lot of rejections and a lot of no responses. I am not giving up though. I encourage you not to give up either. Have you considered updating your resume based on the job you are applying for? It does seem like companies are looking for a lot more. What I've been told is there are preferred qualifications and minimum qualifications. Maybe focus your job search on the job that you really want to do. Remember, don't give up. You are in my thoughts.

Thank you. I try to tailor my cv for each job. I’m updating it all the time. I just got rejected yet again for a job I could have done in my sleep. I hate having to sell myself constantly. I really don’t want any job, I’ve been so burned in the workplace recently. My last company was full of back stabbers, that was the corporate culture. It took the guy who did hire me 9 months to make up his mind.

I had an interview with a recruiter who worked for the company about 2 weeks ago. Rather than interview me for my skills—she initiated contact—she started quizzing me on the job description she was hiring for. It was all over the place, she really didn’t have a clue what was needed. She never got back to me.

I have been on both sides of the elusive job hunt. I can tell you this- a lot of your rejections from interviews have nothing to do with you. Companies have a preformed idea of who and what they are looking for in a candidate. You could go in and feel you nailed it because you gave everything you had, only to be rejected. It’s not you!!!!! You didn’t have what they were looking for and that is not a knock on you. It’s part of the process and it sucks because it wears at your sense of self worth. Be who you are, do your best, and if you are rejected, tell yourself they were looking for something you didn’t have. It will happen, maybe not your dream job this go around but think of ithe initial job experience as an opportunity to build your self-confidence. After a job loss you will need it. Good luck! It will happen.

meerkat45
meerkat45 in reply to Puzzled57

Thank you. I understand. I've been jobhunting for over two years. A year and a half was overseas, where I needed a visa.

Here in the US, it's just frustrating, as the interviewers don't seem to know what they are looking for and waste a lot of time trying to weed through the candidates. I've had internal recruiters not have a clue about the job descrription they have posted. It's just frustrating for everyone involved, and inefficient.

meerkat45
meerkat45 in reply to meerkat45

My self-confidence is really wearing thin. I don’t even want most of the jobs I apply for.

I had three rejections yesterday. Two I never really expected to get. The third really hurt as is had 4 interviews and the internal recruiter had practically told me I had the job.

I have no one and nothing to fall back on.

I feel so alone and unwanted.

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