help: my dad blames me for everything... - Anxiety and Depre...

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mystique1
mystique1

my dad blames me for everything he called me a mistake my mom never talks to me even though i live with her my dad doesn't even want me in his life my boyfriend left me because i have depression i can't seem to find a job they all tell me that they are full but the next day they hire someone new my best friends both died zoey died in a fire and gage committed suicide i wish i still had them i don't have any friends its just me my lonely self i put on a fake smile most of the days

11 Replies
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I’m going to address your other post as well if you don’t mind.

Everyone on this site has considered suicide to some degree or another (or at least the vast majority has). You aren’t alone in your struggles and welcome to the site. There are a lot of great people here.

I would like to ask why you want to kill yourself because of your weight? I don’t know you but I’ve always believed larger women put too much pressure and hatred upon themselves. You don’t need to be a particular size to be beautiful, so please... if you want to lose weight, lose weight so you feel healthier, not more attractive. The right people will love you and want you in their lives as friends or more regardless. If your weight continues to be such a major cause of your depression and you’re willing to make the sacrifices necessary there are ways of taking care of your weight. I’m no expert but my ex had weight loss surgery.

Sadly parents aren’t always a source of comfort. They are people with their own problems and resentments. I hope my daughter survives my divorce with minimal emotional scarring but honestly I don’t know how much longer I can tolerate her mother.

Jobs are hard to find somehow. Everywhere claims to be hiring but either never seems to do so or is so awful it’s almost like a revolving door. I hope you find the right opportunity.

I’m sorry to hear about your boyfriend and your friends. Your situation sounds hard. You wouldn’t be here otherwise, but if you’re asking for advice and support there’s still hope for you. You haven’t given up yet.

So again, welcome to the group, it’s good to have you. I’m wishing you all the best, and I hope you find the love and support you need here! 🙂

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Hidden in reply to faulhallen

Wonderful comment 😇👍

Love your post. Want to add something to it. All during my professional life, I weighed over 300 pounds. When I made a statement about my weight, a client said, "People don't see your weight. They see your smile, feel your warmth, and just like you." I was shocked! It took many years before I could understand what she was saying. We are judged by so much than our weight or looks. If we just let people know we value them and like them, then they return the favor, usually. Perhaps something that contributed to the perception my client had was that I 'faked it til I made it'. I didn't let others know how miserable I was, even my husband. My first suicide attempt took him totally by surprise! He is a very perceptive man, and we'd been married 48 years at that time! I was so good at faking it, I didn't even admit to myself just how miserable I was.

That first attempt got me on meds and sent me on my merry way. This second time, a meds change and therapy have made a huge difference. I'm trying to hang on to this new life I've been blessed with!

Good thoughts. Thank you!

My heart breaks for you but it’s good you’re on here reaching out & posting you’re dealing with a lot & going through a lot you must be a pretty strong person!!! I hope you’ll love yourself and give yourself the care that maybe others aren’t able to give you in your life enough right now!! It’s unfair it’s terrible and you are not alone though!! Keep reaching out & posting people will care and there are good people out there that will love you for you!! I’m struggling to do I’m still learning and on a journey as well but I’m here if you want to chat & I’m sure other kind caring ones on here will b as well!!🌺🌼🦋☺️💌

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You're beautiful...I'm here if you need a friend. Stay strong, things will get better ❤️

Hi there Mistique

My darlin i feel your pain and it's heart breaking.

I would like to second all replies- this is a fantastic site. You will never be on your own here- you are now part of our little family 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♂️ and we all know how futile life sometimes feels.

I don't think you are seeing what i see when I look at your profile pic. I see a beautiful, sensitive and caring young woman . The world is your oyster. Have courage and strength. Always here

Peace and love

Shadow x

Hi mystique I'm sorry your father has become such a a negative on your life! I'm sorry that you have lost your friends think of the happy times you had together I believe that if you think about your friends they will be with you in mind and spirit! Have you thought about councilling it may help you coup with your loss! If your new to this group just ask for help there's usually someone around don't over think what your going through and talk about how your feeling take care david

You are worth more than you are being told. Try finding volunteer spots until you find a job. It gives you experience and self-esteem.

Loving someone with depression is very hard. I'd wait on an emotional relationship.

I second the idea of volunteer work. You never know where it might lead to. Learn new skills. Meet people. Getting hired, if not maybe a good character reference.

Hi Mystique1, we are here to listen to you and support you as you go through your journey. Every one's journey in life is different. Your mom, dad, and boyfriend all have there own journeys. It would be great if you all could be there to support one another but if that is not the case, don't worry, you are still a survivor and you will keep surviving. Don't give up your job search. Maybe you can even talk to a career counselor or a career coach who may be able to give you tips on interviewing skills, resume writing, or improving your job search. Though you can't make people love you or care for you, you can love yourself. No one can love you more than you love yourself so keep loving you and maybe those around you, will start to see how much you love yourself and will start loving to respect and love you too. If they don't do that, don't worry, that's their loss. They miss out on someone as special as you in their lives.

I know how it feels to have to wear a mask when you're around others. I had been where you had been feeling like what am I here for. I felt trapped in a marriage that was nowhere. My ex husband couldn't sustain a job for any length of time. All the responsibilities of paying rent, car note, a day care provider for our son landed on my shoulders. I was sitting duck for the creditors ringing our phone off the hook because there wasn't enough money to pay for all the past due bills. It was very unfair of my ex husband to unload all of the responsibilities on me. He had shown me his true colors when we moved to his home town. I had no support system, everyone including my former in laws may as well have been strangers. My ex husband did all sorts of sneaky things such as withdraw money from my checking account that any checks I had written bounced, the constable came looking for me. I had attempted suicide a few times. My ex did me a big favor by having me committed to the hospital. By skipping out of town while I was in the hospital it may have been a blessing in disguise. I filed for a divorce and received full custody of our son. I have been back in my home town, I have been working steadily for over two decades at the same job. I raised my son by myself. He is now living on his own. Things do turn around when you have the back up of a support system.

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