Question - I'm new here

[AERS]

I just joined this group and I have a question. In reading the various post's, there are a number that mention the word normal - could someone explain to me what normal is and according to who? What's wrong with being me?

[ChicagoGirl1961]

You came to this site for the definition of normal? Boy oh boy, now that's a reach...lol! ..but seriously, I think what is considered normal is simply being like and conforming to the behaviors of the majority......in reality, the definition of normal is subjective and is different for each of us... and there is nothing wrong with you being you.

[AERS in reply to ChicagoGirl1961]

Thank you for your reply and encouragement.

[ChicagoGirl1961 in reply to ChicagoGirl1961]

Your welome..hope you have a great day.

[Hidden]

Normality is different for everyone, because everyone is different in their own unique way. Being normal is being yourself. I always found when someone tries to be like someone else, that is not normal because their not being themself.

Being normal comes from us all being different as to being ourselves. Keep being who you are, and let the true you shine. 😊

[AERS in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your encouragement to just be me.

[Hidden]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being you. Everyone has their own idea of what they consider normal. For me, and many others, normal is depression, sadness, loneliness & fear. We're here because we need/want to make changes and need help, support, understanding & compassion to do that. I want a new normal, a better normal, a normal that doesn't include the broken me. Many here want the same thing.

[AERS in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your response and encouragement. It help's to know that I am not alone in my struggles. Maybe we are all broken and need the help, support, understanding and compassion you speak of. Maybe, just maybe, the true broken one's are those who do not reach out for the help and support they need. So once again thank you for your encouragement.

[JkBrauer]

Normal- defined by MOST people is wanting to be without conflict -ie. health problems mental/ physical. However, being normal is defined differently for each and every person. depending on what life holds for each and every person. Conflict or not is the attitude in which we choose how to respond to each and every day.

There is nothing wrong with being who you are. In fact, that is great that you enjoy being who you are!

[AERS in reply to JkBrauer]

Thank you for your response. And you are correct in your insight - I like me. Thank you.

[unbreakablesoul]

Girl there is nothing wrong with you! Just like anyone else, we are all the same. Just different personalities, traits, characteristics. Some may be good at other things, others may not. That’s okay.

Personally, for me, there is so such thing as ‘normal’. Everyone on this earth is all different and quirky in their own way. And that’s okay. I know that you have doubts about yourself. We all do. But know that you’re personality is not ‘wrong’. It’s amazing and strong. Doesn’t mean that if you have a mental illness, doesn’t mean you’re not ‘normal’. You are beautiful in your own unique way.

[AERS in reply to unbreakablesoul]

Without question you are gifted in understanding, compassion and encouragement. To the extent that reading your response brought tear's to my eye's. Thank you.

[Hidden]

AERS, what a great question! When I say something like, "I wish I could just feel normal". What I primarily mean is that I want to feel like I used to feel before depression, but secondarily I mean what I assume people without depression feel like. More of us here should be asking ourselves, "What is wrong with just being me?" I think we can learn a lot from you! I hope you keep coming around.

[AERS in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your sincerity and sharing - through which we can each learn from one another. Having found this site I have no plans to not be around and maybe in some small way, I can help to encourage another. Thank you.

[Cynnzeia]

When I use the word, “normal”, I refer to my energetic, focused, goal-driven self, the way I was before depression/anxiety knocked me flat.

It’s that “normal” I want back. That feels like my real identity.

[AERS in reply to Cynnzeia]

Cynnzeia - maybe we all wish we could go back to earlier time's. For example - at this time of year - year's ago - I used to enjoy ski jumping - now that is no longer possible. Even now I am still working on new thing's that I could enjoy. Maybe you could do the same, no matter how small it may be. In the meantime - thank you for your response and sharing.

[Cynnzeia in reply to AERS]

Thank you, AERS! You’re right, I should look at these changes as a chance to reinvent, so to speak.

My sister told me I’m different than I was, but not in a bad way.

[AERS in reply to Cynnzeia]

Cynnzeia - your use of the word "reinvent" got me to wondering and remembering something that Carol Adrienne brought out in her book "The Purpose of Your Life". One of the point's brought out is - so often we define ourselves by what we do and the role's we play. None of which defines who we are at a deeper level and to write a purpose statement based on that deeper level.

While Henri Junttila in his book "Find Your Passion" ask's us to explore the interest's and activities we have enjoyed over the year's. While also asking - what would happen if we spent just 1% more time doing the thing's we enjoy? While also encouraging his reader's to freely write with pencil and paper and let the thought's express themselves and to take tiny step's.

At time's I often tend to get of myself. Which becomes overwhleming and increase's my anxiety and depression. So I'm slowly learning to slow down and take the tiny step's. And in slowing down I am beginning to get someplace. And like your sister, some people are beginning to notice a change. More importantly - I am beginning to notice the change.

Which leave's me wondering - is it that we are reinventing or becoming truer to who we really are?

Once again - thank you for your response. Your response demonstrates your sincerity and caring.

[aaronm]

Is normal what your seeking? If so and since its subjective then claim yourself as normal. So am I and everyone else who desires to be. I jokingly tell my kids I'm normal and they should strive to be like me. They roll they're eyes and say "whatever dad." In my definition I am normal. I am me and everyone who disagrees can go suck a big fat egg.

[AERS in reply to aaronm]

Thank you for your response. Maybe the important thing is to just be me.

[Mistykitten]

Exactly! Normal! (You)