The loneliest man in the world

Me

[Strongheartforever]

Not true my friend, only an illusion. You are surrounded by your family, us, all the folks fumbling through this crazy world. And we have doors and windows that we live behind. So it seems like we are separated. But we are all connected. There’s a Jack White song called connected by love. You need that message. Believe me I relate to this feeling. Like being on the dark side of the moon, and it’s strangely comforting. The key to feeling safe and well is to just entertain the idea that we all are family. This dawned on me. Be your best self, that magic, golden thing that happens with someone you love, be that with everyone. Be generous with your love, your personality, your belief in yourself that you have a very unique gift to share and we all need your special color of light in this rainbow. Shine. Shimmer and glow.

You know what’s a really great movie: What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?

Highly recommend. It’s about family, friendship, loneliness, finding love, finding purpose, triumph over crippling pain and shame, and it’s hilarious.

Our motto here on this forum is: You’re never alone.

And I love that. You’ll see it’s true if you keep sharing, reading and supporting others here.

[Hidden in reply to Strongheartforever]

Everyone has turned their backs on me

[Strongheartforever in reply to Hidden]

I think you don’t expect much from people. Maybe you need to find some higher quality people. There are for sure some scummy types out there who are only out for themselves. But there are many, many wise and kind people who just want to embrace you and love you for who you are because they’re simply compelled to heal the world as they’ve been healed: with compassion and love for the sad kid inside who just needs acceptance and affection. Your son should be motivation for you to start the healing journey, I’m sure he inspires a lot in you. He really, really needs you to care about yourself. And stop blaming others. Everything in your life is by choice. Good and bad, the result of choices you made. And tomorrow you can choose to reach out and make a friend, somewhere, anywhere, here and there. You can do this. Keep exploring how you can heal your thoughts and be more compassionate toward yourself and those around you. We care. And we’ll help you in this delicate phase. You need light and nutrients like a plant, and protection. Keep posting and we will help support you.

[Hidden in reply to Strongheartforever]

Choices I made? I certainly never decided to have social anxiety. I’m sorry, but that choice was not mine

[Strongheartforever in reply to Hidden]

Oh that’s true. Yep, I get that. It sucks. I hate it. But the trick is to find the other side, the flip side, the gifts that come from it, there are many. Sounds like you may have some hostility toward me so I may end here. Just trying to help. Wish you well.

[Hidden in reply to Strongheartforever]

No hostility at all. I understand you are trying to help. But I have come to dislike the cool-aid the world tries to feed me about how “everything will be okay,” and “just try.” I apologize if I have offended you at all

[Strongheartforever in reply to Hidden]

Oh good. Thank you. Sometimes people bite heads off here and I fear that. Well, the thing about your thoughts is they become your reality. So if you think it’s naive to have hope, that it’s for suckers, you’re gonna lead a hopeless life. If you believe things aren’t gonna “be ok”, then they most certainly won’t. The thought is the seed, then it becomes the word, then the action. Sometimes the human mind, if left to it’s own devices, goes nutty, kinda dark, feels hopeless and alone. You have to say no! and steer the dang wheel in the other direction. Takes practice. You also have to believe something is possible in order to achieve it. What would your ideal life be like?

[Marshall64]

I can relate. Your bio says you are a father. What about your child / children?

I'm a full time single father (the mom had disappeared). My daughter helps me with the loneliness but I do crave adult conversation. This forum and support groups help me with connecting to others. I talk to some people at work but I keep my work life and personal life separate. There are only a couple people that I can relate to in my field (engineering). Most people my age are married too.

If you have free time, you could try meetup meetings or if you are in a church they have social groups.

Keep posting here. People here can be your friends too.

[Hidden in reply to Marshall64]

I’m a prisoner to my mind and my social anxiety. I’m a medicated (sedated) version of a walking robot. Void of feelings, expressions, anything. I had one friend in my whole life. He never really knew who I really was inside or even cared. My workplace is toxic. I see everyone I work with talking, enjoying each other’s company and I am alone. They all join each other outside of work and I am excluded. I’ve lost who I am and I avoid all conversations at all costs. I’ve been at my job for 4 years now and I still eat lunch alone. I’ve become a hermit, I don’t want to know people and don’t want them to know me. Everyone I know has turned their back on me. I believe I am the reason for it. My son suffers because of me, because of my anxiety. He misses out on friends, family, on life. Because of me. The end

[Marshall64 in reply to Hidden]

I work around people talking about their wives, vacations, and so forth. They also hang out together. It used to bother me. Scrolling through Facebook used to do the same thing to me (feel bummed out and isolated). I have taken the mental approach to these things by being happy for the people who have a great family (what I really want), the vacation, new cars, etc. I started to stop thinking about being isolated at work and just started being myself (I'm a little wacky).

I also get anxiety with meeting other parents when getting my daughter to her playdates. I've slowly got more comfortable doing that. I always had to contact the mom for a playdate. It was a nerve wracking as asking a girl on a date. It is not as big as a deal now.

Hang in there. Try stepping outside your comfort zone a little at a time. Get to know some other parents. It gets easier the more you do it.

[hypercat54]

Wanna bet?