Decisions!!: It's so easy for everyone... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Decisions!!

Donndonn1980
Donndonn1980

It's so easy for everyone to give u advice on what to do in your relationship. I realize nothing will help u until u see things for yourself. I'm in a toxic relationship and I know it's no good for me but like many I stay for the kids. I know she loves what I do for her not me. I've learned to not expose my hand on stuff so I dont cause a big fight but I know even though I may love her and want my family to make it I know its inevitable we wont be together. I'm not even upset or hurt anymore. I've become immune and I expect the misery that comes from dealing with her and her family. When ppl are ok and comfortable with dysfunction something is very much wrong. I really just want to take my kids and leave but I'm not in the best situation right now. I hate my kids being around this simple minded household and disrespectful folks. I am so confused on how people could be so up in age but dont know much about anything and consider me a know it all cause I do know alot because I like to learn and research things. I'm a google person and proud of it. I'm dealing with ppl who belittle a person for being smart like kids do in middle school so a kid hides his smarts as to not be ridiculed by the simpleminded folks. Anyways I'm sick of the loud obnoxious behaviors and the I dont care attitudes. I know u cant make a person happy that are not happy with themselves. Misery loves company and I've been being a miserable sidekick for too long lol. I've been told if I should write a book cause the things I deal with are movie worthy. It's crazy cause I do write well and can Express myself rather easy and vividly so most could see the actual things im writing as they read my words. I'd love to write but dont know how to start. Saying that makes me realize im doing it right now on this platform lol. Ok so back to this mess. Life is frustrating and im fed up with sacrificing my happiness. I hate my environment but stay for the kids .I just feel with me around they have some normalcy. Does nobody really care as much as I do? Do you really have to yell all day everyday? Ugh!!! I know I give my spouse the benefit of doubt because she wasnt raised the traditional way and her parents are not the ideal people to learn from. It makes me sad for her. Having nobody to tell her the right things or lead her in the right direction. Damn it upsets me. She get so upset if I share how these ppl are with anyone but I tell her that's only cause she's embarrassed by it. I try to explain things without making others feel less than but its hard. When ppl have no understanding about pretty much anything it's hard to communicate without them getting upset . Wow I could write all day but even now I have to act like I'm doing nothing cause an argument will happen if she knew I was even Expressing myself on here. I know communication is key but it takes two and I cant do it alone. We can talk about tv shows but if it's anything about us she has nothing to say. I hear yelling right now ugh I'm sick of it. I know I need to go and I know there's women that would really appreciate me and love me back. I've been talked to like no person that's loves another could say. Like she hates me or wishes someone ends my life but she says it alot more graphically. Her mom has stayed it also. Not a role model at all. Her mother is so evil I stay away at all costs. Her energy is so toxic. See if I said that I'd get looked at stupidly. Ppl here have no concept of all this world consists of like energy patterns ect. When I say certain things it's like I'm speaking a foreign language. I know I need someone intellectually inclined and on my level mentally. Just cause I have anxiety and other issues dont make me stupid. I'm highly intelligent. I guess I dont judge so in this relationship I thought I could help and thought we could grow together but I'm not with an open minded person. I gotta go she going crazy cause a 1 and 2 year old wont stay quiet so she can watch the price is right smfh. This house could really be a reality show smh!. I think I've found my outlet!! Talk to yall soon!!

2 Replies
oldestnewest

one word of advice....stand your ground, pick your battles....and be secure in your own knowledge...leave those to their own devices and stay ignorant. Try an do what you can for yourself and your kids....and you don't have to please everyone. I quit trying a long long time ago.....I do my own thing in certain situations and it's been working out much better. You can be less dysfunctional if you come up with what works best for you and stop doing what does not work....no one can walk in your shoes, and no one has a one size fits all answer for you either, only you know what's right for you. Best wishes to you.....

Thank you!👍🏿

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