My mum has gone on holiday and left me to look after her 3 dogs all day and all night for two whole weeks it’s not tenable at all I’m still riddled with anxiety so when I don’t I feel awful and when I feel awful I want to cry and panic and scream she left good but not nearly enough and she expects me to be there 24/7 and I just can’t the stress that I admit I put on myself is just pushing me over the edge my mum just keeps stressing the fact that I can’t leave them alone and I can’t relax I feel sick and guilty about being at home I hate this I can’t handle it what do I do?
I’m sat here going out of my mind wit... - Anxiety and Depre...
Anxiety and Depression Support
What kind of dogs are they
Thank you for your reply
When I am there which I have been for 8 hours they just sleep
Well you should be able to leave the dogs alone for a few hours. No one can expect you to be there 24/7. Is your mother? Just take them out for walkies once a day and they will be fine. Some fresh air will do you some good. x
Hi thanks for your reply I apologise I only just saw it. She expects me to not leave them alone for more than an hour but I just can’t handle it my whole body aches with stress my head is pounding and I feel sick to my stomach. I just feel awful for feeling this way I’m fine and calm during the day as long as nothing happens to stress me out and I’m over the edge I can’t live life like that
However my friends think it would be natural to be stressed out considering what my mother is asking of me and how she acts as if leaving them alone for over an hour would mean certain death
Yes of course it stresses you out, but that's your mothers thing so you haven't got to take it on board. Separate out what she expects of you and what you are willing to accept. Do it your way. x
Thank you that’s the same advice my friends gave me my brother so that’s what I’ve started to do I worry that I’m being cruel leaving them for 3 hours at a time and leaving them alone at night as I just can’t sleep at her house
Just worry about them when I’m not there and worry about how stressed and awful I feel when I am there
They will get over it! It's not like they will be telling tales on you is it? x
I apologise I think I wrote that poorly so you misunderstood I meant I worry I’m causing them harm by not being with them 24/7
How can you cause dogs harm by not being with them 24/7? They are not going to commit suicide, wreck the house, or need a counsellor by the time your mother returns are they? How exactly can you cause them harm? Think though this logically and you will see I am right.
You are feeling anxiety coz you are not doing exactly as your mother demanded, but like I said if she doesn't know then no harm done.
Does your mother spend 24/7 with them? Does she never leave them even for an hour? I find that hard to believe. x
so why dont you nap too? or do something fun in the meanwhile at home on the internet?
Thank you for your reply sorry I can’t all my muscles become tense I feel sick lightheaded/headache just feel terrible until I’m at home in bed on my own
Do you have far to take them on a little walk
They’ve already been on one today one of them has bad paws at the moment so we were advised to keep him at home
I feel awful for this I feel bad for having to leave them because I can’t handle it I feel bad that I feel bad I didn’t sleep at all last night because I worried sick about leaving them alone until 8am I just want to feel better about the situation like I’m doing nothing wrong
Your doing fine....my dog has a bad paw too I bandaged it up but she chewed it off
Thank you I’m just scared about what will happen to them if I leave them for a few hours (4) and not sleeping with them even though I’m there every morning at 7 and when I come in they’re asleep
It’s just my mum saying I needed to be with them all the time and I have to live at her house for two weeks which to be honest just stresses me out
This is undo pressure your mom is putting on you, I have three dogs and they are fine to be left alone all day plus dogs nap a lot. Especially if you exercise them, tired dogs sleep.
Your mom just wants to make sure her fur babies are looked after, I can’t imagine being stuck in the house like a prison. Her request Sounds quite unhealthy and wrong on various levels for her to expect that out of you or anyone for that matter.
You do what you have to for your own health, the dogs need to be fed and given a little attention and exercise otherwise they will be fine. Hoping these two weeks go back quickly.
Thank you yes I thought so to but she thinks because I’m unemployed (due to my anxiety disorder) it’s no different for me to be trapped in the house all day as that’s what I do anyway I mean today my brother got there at 8 fed them and stayed there until I got there at 1- and we left at 5 but I felt guilt ridden for leaving them even though they all bs each other and had eaten and been walked
I’m thinking you are putting added stress on yourself. I don’t think she meant you can’t do anything or go anywhere, she’s taking advantage of the fact you do not work and are usually at home anyways with your disorder, so you can pitch in and help out.
I think and this is my opinion in what I’m reading, you are adding to your own anxiety and that is not necessary at all. That’s what anxiety does to us, sooooo ease up on yourself and stop adding unnessary pressure to the situation. Leave the house when you need to.
Thank you yes I don’t think she meant to either she’s a great mum I just think she wants them to be safe and my anxiety leads me to think they’re gonna die if I’m not there or be seriously injured because I’m not there
dont feel bad those good bois could easily survive a week without your help. Theyre ok.
Thank you there are three of them so I suppose they have each other and many people go to work for 6-8 hours a day and come home to them
yup. The only reason I personally would fret about leaving my dog alone is if they are bored or with someone aggressive. They'll be fine. Give them a pat on the head for me
And say hello from me..🐕🐕🐕
You’d have to decide if you will go home to sleep or stay and know in your mind it’s a Choice not a Decision. You’re in control. If you left them at night the worst is could pee on floor or something. It’s a change in routine for you. Can’t you bring your groceries over there? She shoulda left you money for food but she didn’t so each day solve a situation to make it more comfortable for you. Give yourself time away from them be happy when you see them when you come back. They love you. You’ve got 3 little critters that LOVE you so much and want to show you that and they are hurting their routine is different too and when they see YOU you as you ARE is all they need.
Thank you for your reply we’ve tried to keep their routines as normal as possible and she doesn’t have much money and I’m unemployed so she left as much as she could but not enough for two weeks. I know she just wants them taken care of and we’ve been there for 14 hours intermittently for two days I’ve come home to eat and just have some time away but I just feel so stressed about it even though I know they’re probs just asleep
That’s a lot to take in for two weeks. Just know you’re doing a good thing and you’re doing your best & bring some food over there from home make it more hospitable. The next time she goes away just say one week as it went fine but it was too long with 3 dogs for you. You don’t have to do it lol you chose too so just role with it and try to change your perspective it’s all you have in you favour choose to change your mind. It takes doing but it will ease your stress
OMG. If i was you I would book them in kennel care for those two weeks. Or hire a dog sitter.. What a cheek 😱
She tried but one of the dogs is a rescue and does very poorly around other unfamiliar dogs (aggressive/anxious) so she thought best if my brother and I took care of them it’s very stressful being cooped up for 12 hours a day hence why I’ve come home for a break but feel terrible about doing so
Dogs are pack animals.. There's always a "top dog". If you get that one on your side. Then "top dog" will keep the other two in line. You can do this. 👍
Well there you go... That's day one done. Good for you. Day by day my friend. Thinking to far ahead always makes my anxiety worse.. Keep posting how you're doing. 👍
I kind of just feel bad because I feel like I can barley handle anything like any kind of stress or any mild inconvenience I just completely crumble and despite me improving massively over the past couple of months I just can’t handle having the stress headache all day back tension feel sick I just don’t know how to combat that
I'm a cat person
I have one English Bulldog. I hide in my room from her sometimes. You have to have bulldogs to understand. They don’t understand personal space. They’re too smart for their own good and their personal needs take all day and all night.
Put them or you in time out. I’m not kidding. If they all want to survive go take a walk without them. Oh my gosh just the thought of having 3 of my Rosie’s sends anxiety coursing through my veins like two shots of caffeine.
You can’t do it and live. Sit out front. Take a long shower. Take a walk. Don’t let them sit on you. Put up a gate of some kind. I feel your pain. They are bratty children who constantly need need need.
Take care of you💛
Thank you for your reply it was helpful yes they are ridiculously needy it’s more that my mum asked me to stay over night and my brother and dad are like what’s the point they’re unconscious they don’t even know you’re there? I have spent 8 hours with them today is that enough?
More than enough. If you do 8 hours again can you split it into 4 and 4? They’ll be fine. I think mums little babies only need mum that much. You don’t need the torture and I love my bulldog. I’ll never own another. God bless you for what you’ve already done and survived.
Thank you haha😂 yes I love all three of them they’re beautiful and brilliant but far too much work and I’m constantly anxious about leaving them overnight as I’m worried about them just walking around sad and upset
They have each other. Don’t let the little buggers fool you. They use that face to tear at your heartstrings. Lol! I make it a point not to leave Rosie longer than 9 hours and she’s by herself. (She has a pee pad if she wants.) Your babies have each other. They’re thinking Party Time!!
Thank you for your replies it’s really helped it’s my mother saying things like it will make them mentally scared if you’re not there. (Because one of the dogs is a rescue and was just used for breeding.) and I just think well if they’re sleeping all day and I’m walking/feeding them why do I need to be there? And then she says oh if they fight and really hurt each other then what? And on and on
If you exercise them they won’t fight. Rosie is a rescue/breeder. Dogs don’t remember that. They know right now. Right now those dogs hit the Doggie Lottery! Your mom is going to worry but let’s just be realistic. If they’re tired they’ll continue to sleep the hours she did. Leave a shirt you’ve worn there so they smell you while you’re gone. Less likely to have separation anxiety. 💛
Thank you I’ll certainly try the t-shirt thing so it’s no big deal leaving them overnight?
I have dog sat for over 9 years of my life. Everyone thinks it’s so easy. It’s not. I’ve slipped in pee I’ve clean a house for hours because the dog is going inside. I have had to literally talk to a dog and persuade them into taking their medicine. I’ve looked crazy. I love dogs but sometimes. They need to chill. Is their a back yard? Somewhere to take them out and let them off the leash where you can sit and chill. Do they like to cuddle. Sometimes that’s relaxing. Is she paying you? Honestly if she’s not then I would leave and give myself a couple hours. These aren’t your dogs. They are hers. So it feels like a job. I’m currently sitting on the couch cuddling with my dog and having fun. But that’s because she’s my dog and we have a connection. If they aren’t my dog it’s a little harder.
Hi thanks for your reply no they’re my mothers dogs I usually spend a couple of hours a week with them never all day I feel like what she’s asking of me comes from a place of caring but is way over the top. And no she can’t really afford to pay us I don’t mind spending time with them that much during the day it’s just her asking me to spend the night which just means I won’t sleep
I just thought i would ask how the dog sitting is going. ☺
Thank you it’s going okay they’re not behaving badly or anything and we are splitting the time we spend with them into sections so it’s a lot easier on one another thank you for asking though
Told you you could do it. Well done. Hope you're proud of yourself.. I am actually a bit anxious today.. The reason being my little sister has had to go into hospital to have her first baby.. 😲 😂
I am struggling massively still I’m laid in bed feeling ill and awful and lightheaded and thinking the stress will kill me but oh well haha😂 Oh wow that’s great congratulations to you both that’s wonderful!
Got a great aunt to meet
Aw thank you. And by the way your another day closer to your mum being home. So well done you for hanging on in there. Even if you feeling rough your still doing it. 👍 Al keep you posted about my nearly new arrival fingers crossed 🤞
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