Loneliness strikes out of no where.

[persona_non_grata]

Just watched Les Miserables on BBC 1.

Lovely rolling landscapes and fantastic music.

Beautiful couples and a lovely french summer wonderfully captured.

All round Epic written all over it.

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Once it’s gone, miserable again.

It happens every time.

A movie, a book, speaking to someone over the phone or even a lovely song that I associate with my teenage years...

When it ends, it bring me down like a ton of bricks.

I suppose I need an escape mechanism. I am happy within it. I am not sure if this is sustainable in the long term.

Obviously I need to live the reality and not escape to a remote valley in Missouri or to a 300 people village in Finland or to an apartment in a city in Mongolia or even a shipping vessel near Djibouti because I read in a book. I live in a shoebox in London alone and miserable.

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I don’t know where to start. To fix my life.

[Vagabond37]

I feel this with my entire being.. I feel like a shell of who I was and I don’t know where to begin to get better ..

[persona_non_grata in reply to Vagabond37]

I am afraid it is a flatline I have reached too.

The years of energetic youth together with an unsurprising amount of audacity for the sake of it, jumping through the hoops to get things done... all gone. Or maybe it is there somewhere. I don’t even know.

It’s the outer shell that’s remaining. Perhaps this metaphor is not really helping the cause. We need a better one but don’t know where to start.

[Xena13 in reply to persona_non_grata]

Sharing this is a start...,I care!!! I can feel your depression! You can help many others on this site by sharing and responding.

[Xena13]

Sharing how you feel is important!! We can all relate. Your depression and anxiety are the reason you come down hard. Are you on any meds?

[persona_non_grata in reply to Xena13]

Thanks.

I am not. I have not sought professional help. Partly because “it is just nothing” or “I am being silly” culture that I have been moulded in.

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And party because private help is expensive and time pressed NHS GPs I just simply don’t have a good enough reason to walk-in and embarrassed about it all this time.

Joining this forum is my first step.

[lillyofthevalley37]

How about doing some voluntary work or moving back to your hometown

[persona_non_grata in reply to lillyofthevalley37]

I know it makes no sense putting ourselves in harms way but life back home is better for loads of people because I am here.

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Voluntary work is something I have considered in the past but never really got around doing it.

I guess charity truly begins only when one can afford to.

[lillyofthevalley37]

You mean to say your family are glad you are in London rather than your hometown?

I lived in London BTW then at 38 went back to my home town which is a seaside town

Have you tried reading books to transcend yourself into another world - I have just finished Posy Simmonds latest graphic novel it didn't last long I used to read a lot of Anita Brooker novels in fact I met her a few times in London just on the street I used to live near her London isn't all its cracked up to be anyway I wish you well

[VTUI]

It seems, if you are lonely in London, it might be better for you to be back in your home town, if it was/is generally friendly. I was always happier in the city, (NYC), as there were so many places to go to walk & films to see, & museums, usually a free day, I used to jog back then, from aged 46 to about 60, I walked briskly for 30 min in later years. I would go to a different area, & explore it while exercising. I would then have maybe a coffee & muffin, and visit a bookstore then home....Possible to see a lot of interesting things, & sometimes meet like persons along the way. The physical ok ness, helps the mental ok ness.