Living with my AA 5 yr recovery boyfriend I feel like I’m being sucked down into his AA life. It’s all he talks about and focuses on. He said if
He talks about anything else he is close to slipping back and drinking again. It’s hard for me to hear this 24 7 as I feel like I’m gonna lose my mind. I’ve already been verbally beaten down and I am self medicating just to be able to stay
Maybe you and he aren’t compatible. He has told you what he needs for his sobriety. He cannot give that up for anyone if that’s the case. It’s not a matter of right or wrong, just differences. There are other people out there who value what you do.
But isn’t he supposed to be out reintegratimg intonlife. Like a life where you life and have fun kayaking cycling and then campfire and oerhaps an aa meeting afterwards. It’s just from the moments me opens his eyes til he closes them UMTS nothing but AA ISNT TNERE MORE TO LIFE
It’s just that he lies about getting a divorce. He deeps saying I’m 3 months and it Hexer happens and I’m ledt waiting. He says he loves
Me so much and aa is part of
His life
Although he's a recovering alcoholic, you need support. Al-Anon (al-anon.org) may be a website you want to check out and contact one near you. Although it's for those living with an alcoholic, perhaps their guidance and coping strategies would also apply in your situation. If he's talking 24/7, you might want to find time away from him even if it's a walk or visiting a friend or taking up an outside activity. It sounds like he's leaning on you excessively and you need a break. If you continue to be there for him 100% and believing his lies about getting a divorce, then he's getting the better deal so why would he be inclined to change?
I agree with B4andafter regarding getting support for yourself.
About the divorce issue, what makes you think he will ever get a divorce as long as you stay with him? And if he is cheating on his wife, he very well do the same with you.
Yes, he says he loves you, but sounds as though he NEEDS you for a support person 24/7.
Please start thinking about yourself and what you need and want. Sounds as though you are just "used" to your situation with him. You may want to sweep him out of your life and tell him until his divorce is over for two years, and he has something else than AA in his life, you are not going to be.
People who use drugs, including alcohol, even if clean, can use people until those people are completely worn out.
You can't change him, but time perhaps for you to start taking care of yourself away from him. Wish the best to you and a much better 2019. xoxo
Well you guys it’s heading to the fact that I have to leave him but I’m afraid. He knows where I live and he has weaseled his way back into my life before. I feel terrified as to where to go. He will strip me of most everything but my basic belongings. I can’t
Believing this is happening to me and to boot he was just texting his wife about
His daughter losing her gas card so what should she do
Hey, start walking. Your freedom and future are worth more than anything.
If you are in the US and he has hurt you or you are afraid of him, call the Clerk of Court and find out where you can file a petition for a protective order. Or call the police and ask where you can do that.
If you are afraid to go to your place, stay with a friend, your family, the women's shelter, just FIND a place to go. Or kick him out and away when you go home and ask the police to be there when you do. I left years ago with nothing, and have helped other women since then to do this.
Yes, it can be scary, but just pull up a bit of courage and maybe anger, and do something. If you REALLY want him out of your life, you CAN get him out of your life
Stop finding reasons to not take care of yourself. His daughter's gas card is not your responsibility. How can he strip of your belongings if you have a home with locks on the doors?
You can do this.
Please start walking for your survival and better future. xoxo
Excellent advice. I hope Mixed Up Girl heeds it otherwise she will continue to feel trapped and depressed.
Yes, I am hoping so too.
Depression Sucks!
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