Depression

Does anyone else get a constant voice with nothing but horrible things to say? Feels like when I’m at my lowest this voice creeps in and picks on terrible things to keep me down.. then I get so down and flooded with all these negative things that I space out. I can even be in the middle of something and just zone out and it feels like 10 minutes has gone by when it’s only been two. Does that make any sense to anyone? I feel like I’m going crazy and I can’t pick myself back up

[blacklabs]

Do you hear the voice or is it a bad thought. I know I used to get waves of depression mainly on a night. Probably when I reflect on things.

[Hidden in reply to blacklabs]

I really can’t tell if it’s a thought but it’s just getting to a point where there’s something bad in everything and it makes it hard to get back up when you’re being kicked when you’re down you know

[blacklabs in reply to Hidden]

. It is helpful to talk about it and not ignore this. I can truly say this given what happened to me. Please talk again to your doctor . I feel for you and you need help to feel better. Things can get out of hand I didn't recognize my stress depression it led to hallucinations and I was very ill occurring to my doctor. Tell your gp what is going on. Talking to this group may help you.

[Hidden in reply to blacklabs]

Did you manage to get the help you needed in the end? Stress is definitely a big trigger! I’m being referred to the CMHT I hope they can help

[blacklabs in reply to Hidden]

It took a long time . I still have on going stress but the wake up call was so big. My son doesn't understand and wont I have had outbursts for years just flip. But my last one shielding everything just was big. I have had cognitive behavioral therapy which has helped so much. I no longer retreat to bed and shut the world out. I know I have ill health and on going stress so that helps me to come to terms with it. I just say now, ok I am having a bad day no wonder I am. I feel sorry for myself and allow that but I know that crying going to shut the world out will not take away my illness or others that |I love illness away its fact. I started by giving myself three things to do house work shower anything as long as they are complete. If I don't get to do the said three things then thats ok. Its about me . I have found it difficult to be selfish but have taught to say its ok to like me to look after me and natural to worry. Its sounds crazy you would think it would make things worse but it is about coming to terms that sometimes life sucks but it can sometimes be amazing.

[Hidden in reply to blacklabs]

It sounds like you’ve really come a long way. I’m so glad that you have managed to come out the other side and have learned to be kinder with yourself. I have had CBT many times but haven’t found it very helpful yet.

[Zhangliqun]

It's true that folks like us often don't need much help to go into a tailspin as you've described. Even so, demons will take advantage of the situation like buzzards circling a wounded animal on the ground and whisper ugly things like you describe into your ear.

Tell these hunks of spiritual sewage to go back to Hell (as a parting shot, be sure to remind them of their future) and force your mind to focus on even the simplest pleasant things and memories. The simpler the better because they make you feel childlike again.

Some of my favorites are just going online and looking at pictures of fall foliage, or videos of lop-eared bunnies, or maybe buy some Lego blocks and build some stuff. Sometimes I'll just go to a hardware store because there is such a constructive atmosphere there -- all this stuff you can use to create/build/fix something at your house -- that makes me feel more positive and hopeful. The thoughts and images that work for you will be different but at their core the same, because they all come from God.

It's not easy at first, it will feel like trying to bench press a Buick off your chest, but don't give up. It will become easier and become a reflex after a while.

[blacklabs in reply to Zhangliqun]

Yes Find things to do. If you are having a tough day then don't be hard on yourself. x

[Hidden in reply to Zhangliqun]

I’m so glad it’s not just me. I don’t have anyone to talk to about these distressing things. I will definitely try building something and trying to distract myself. It can be motivated when you’re deep in the darkness.

[Zhangliqun in reply to Hidden]

There's a lot of very sick folks out here, and many who have many years of experience dealing with it so take advantage. At times at has been a nightmare but I haven't had any serious thoughts of suicide since '94. I aim to die with my boots on...

[Rafiki11]

I had to go to my doctor for medication. That helped. It got me to a place where I could benefit from therapy.