So I feel as if I was going in the right path. Medication had worked just fine, taper down to where I no longer felt I needed the meds to feel depressed. Was in a god point in life. Feeling optimistic, helpful, hands on productive. Now after the holidays, family gatherings and vacation an unplanned and unexpected fam emergency happened. I feel that I have to be the one that keeps the composure, try to keep everyone at peace and hold it together. The pressure of not knowing what wrong, plus the way the health care system works makes me feel extremely anxious.
I keep trying to distract myself to calm the nerves and not lash out on anyone around me. But I just feel extremely sensitive to everything and I just want to scream!!! Cry!!! Get rid of the knot on my throat!
Every time I feel my eyes water down I look around me and see that I need to keep it together, because if I break no one else would be able to manage the problem at hand. Part of me just wants to run away and isolate, but I feel that it would not help the ones depending on me.
Trying really hard for this anxiety not to get the best of me, but I’m not sure what else to do 😓😓
I just want to time to stand still for a couple of hours so I can unwind and regain strength, so I can be strong for those that need me now.
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Eggsandbacon
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It sounds like you need some self care time. You can’t keep giving without filling back up. Your body is telling you. Can you take some time to yourself?
I don’t feel like I can. I am currently the emergency contact. Since I’m not at work I feel responsible to be present in case anything is needed of me. I would hate myself if anything happened and I’m not present to deal with the situation.
Due to language barriers no one else is comfortable staying or handling the situation. Even though they are present for the ill to comfort them, I don’t think they can see that I could use some air.
Im feeling suffocated in my own body, but trying not to show it hurts more. Feels hard to breath, and hot (even though is pretty cold in the room).
You need to take time for yourself so that you can process your feelings. There should be someone else that can take over the duties for at least a while right? If anything, get to a quiet place where you can be alone for a period of time, cry and let yourself experience your emotions. Don't keep pushing them down, it's going to make things so much worse in the long run.
Yes yes I understand what you are saying I feel the same way some times and I feel like I can't keep it together and every one looks to me to do everything for them but like AZ1970 said you need to take time for your self you can't keep going..I don't know how to say it because I don't want any one to say you are just thinking about your self but here goes I try to go to a hotel alone I get the room with a hot tub in it and I just think of me just for one night 3 pm to 12 noon the next day and then back to life it helps some times
Yes sometimes we need to “come apart for a while or else we will just come apart. “ quote I heard once that stuck with me.
We are human beings. Not human doings. There’s always things to do and always will be. But if you are hurting you will need to take time to care for yourself first, then you will be in a better place to care for others😊❣️
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