This is a place you can just write anything without thinking first about punctuation or anything and it doesn’t matter how it sounds or looks or if it makes any sense. It’s to release. I don’t know if anyone will want to do this but I will.... I need it!!!!!!!!!!!
Here i go:
Rough stars birds 🦅 you hurt me PAIN anddoyoucare no not enough to stop hurting me Songsofbirds again playinginmymind 🦅 please guide, come help me I’mintroubledeepthistime I’m very tired 😓 I’m very tired 😓 I’m oh so 😓 let me lay down and pray with you, universe, grassy hills meadows filled of wild flowers be still be at peace .....whycantibeatpeacenow ❤️
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Starrlight
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I like being by myself in the quiet of the early morning with my dog my cat and fresh coffee when things get loud I will find a peaceful place. Don't want to talk. Don't want to take care of you. Just want to be!
Local people new neighbours judge me people out walking with friends, during day just have my dog outside of family very few people like me, yet they dont know me go on hearsay not fair am finding my tribe on line a little less so on Zoom. Tomorrow may be a better day. I keep learning online like learning. Soon meet some Zoom peers in person mYbe ,a little nervous. Prob can't look much worse in person than l do on Zoom. No poetic language in my freestyle Starrlight. Yours shone great idea here, felt great
I have a black notebook I call my b**ch book. I use dark colored pens and let out my negativity and anger. Occasionally some of it gets copied to my journal. Usually I let it out, rip out the page and rip it up into teeny, tiny pieces before I throw it out. Very therapeutic. 😊
I used to burn things in the fireplace. But we got a gas insert. So now it's into the trash then covered with coffee grounds. Glad you like the idea, it really helps me. A way to express my feelings then let them go.
Fuckshitjustwentonawalkandifeelworsethanwhenileftimsoanxious this is not a good time fir me I know it will pass I feel creepiness creeping in my body the anxiety moving around should have run instead of walked ffffffffffffffuck
Been lying here on my couch for three hours. No tv yet. Just silence , my thoughts and iPad. Reminiscing of high school life…the fun times, it’s what I do for company in the wee hours . Coffee to clear the head. Answering pms from other early risers. Trying to sound coherent. Had to put a hoodie on to ward off the chill of a/c. Love the cold. Thoughts of what I need to do today spring up,but put them aside to be considered more seriously later. A cocoon right now is needed. Two comfy blankets. Two pillows. I love this start to my day. Alone, but not lonely.
Hey you shouldn't be reminiscing about times in high-school, or maybe you should, but you must find space for your times in Louisiana, had a think block don't know if I've spelt it right and I've written it sooo many times🤔😞
😂Good reminder! Tomorrow when I wake, I’ll make sure my thoughts will include Louisiana and you as well. You’ll be my companion again. There’s still lots I haven’t shown you yet. It’ll be fun! 💃
I’m sorry your memories weren’t happy. It wasn’t Alice in Wonderful for me either, but there are enough good memories I can still pull from to keep me company. Unless I’m imagining them. 😉
Im just on my bed, reading comments on youtube, next door neighbours dog barking , i know im not alone..my mind is in its own world, i let it wonder...i can hear myself breathing, eyes getting tired and i think im half asleep..cant sleep yet cause i ate so much...taking a deep breath as im typing, i don't even know what I'm doing, all spaced out yet in my corner killing time, unforgiving time..love you my friend🙂
Bro I love ya so, yo yo yo lol are ya still awake let’s bake my chef friend I just ate and drinking matcha 🍵 gotcha no really I am I feel like I should rhyme for some reason I love this new season almost autumn I bought some kick-ass boots but I feel bad I should be saving money honey 🍯 I’m suuuuuuuuuper woman no actually I’m super anxious right now it’s almost unbearable. Are you asleep if you are not then make a peep. P.s. Hope your birds are well. (Magic spell. ✨ did it work?) I was casting a be happy spell on you!!!!
Tired, so tired. Long work days. Just want to sleep. That will come. So many appointments. Busy weeks. Birthday with my granddaughter Sunday ❤️ Her. Talking with friends. Need some exercise. Makes me feel good. Welcome fall.
Tired and it’s fiveinthemorning welp I have school, hope I don’t lose my cool and miss any classes, sick to my stomach, frick I have a concert tomorrow and I’vebarelypracticed
❤️ What was told to the flowers that caused them to rise after the rain?
I wish I could take credit for these words, Starrlight, but they are from a beloved poet that I follow. I love poetry, even write my own, not sure I can share just yet. It would probably be cathartic.....someday 🙏🏻
New development on the meditation front -- sadly, I don' tthink I'm always meditating my way out of problems. I've always been able to suppress feelings and thoughts I don't want, so I swallowed all my anger for like 25 years until I figured it out. And now I'm seeing that some of the time I think I'm refocusing on my conscious experience, I'm actually just suppressing my feelings through that ancient mechanism I have. The result is that I had a couple of really unprofessional angry outbursts in front of my colleagues. I think it's those suppressed feelings finding a way out. So my path to nirvana hit a broken bridge, and it's going to take some work to repair it.
The neat thing, though, is that now I can see that feeling and thought suppression thing -- the bad one -- as it's happening while I meditate. So maybe -- maybe -- I can find a way to stop doing it. That would be a huge step for me. But, it's also maybe not possible. So we'll see.
I’m so sorry you suffer that way. I have also noticed I have a lot of inner rage... just recently it bubbles near the top...but it’s weird because I don’t tend to bottle things up but I guess there are certain things that are too much that I did bottle up. My therapist says when things start to come up, start writing things down to try to put pieces together as I lost a lot of my memory.Best to you. I think it’s possible for sure... it would be cool if you could work with a really good therapist I think. You think?
Good advice. I have a permanent therapist, and I'm talking to her. I also don't remember much of my childhood -- I think that's part of the feelings suppression, too.
Oh good on the therapist. I love mine. She was supposed to call me 30 minutes ago though and I’m really frazzled and anxious and depressed and just terrible feeling even my body hurts all over from stress. I am done. How are you doing?
I think I'm okay, but I'm feeling unsettled because of this unwanted behavior I did to my colleagues. That's shaken me. I guess there are no easy solutions.
Oh I hear you. I have the same sort of thing I keep acting weird toward people the last few days like really immaturely just tonight because my bipolar was out of control and I am not well it does strange things to my personality and choices I make so I understand the embarrassment but you k ow it’s all good it happens you know it’s ok it’s all small stuff in the end really.
I forgot until just now. Lying on the tenement roof. Far from assaults. The tar. The heat. So far to the horizon... the church, the row houses. No birds. No one. Silent and alone.
Real life memory. Walking down the street when a group of adolescent boys come in view, congregated around a large box. Curious, I walk up and inquire "What do you have there?" One of the boys reaches in the box, pulls out a large garter snake, and shoves it towards my face. Aglow, I reach out and inquire "Wow! Where'd you find him?"
Disappointed response: "Ain't you skeared, lady?" 😄
Laying on a blanket on the sea shore at sunrise. Using all 4/5 senses to take in the beauty. Drinking a coffee which sometimes tips over in the sand. Then I use my 5th sense, my coffee gets crunchy
Ty.... I wanted to be part of the poetry club. Well sometimes it does tip. You wipe of as much as you can but you do always get a taste in there some where. Many people on here know I love my ☕️☕️. Sand and all I will drink it
Yes, I am contemplating deleting every sound. This is where we come to be safe. What do I do with the rest? I don't know; ill at ease to bring it here. But. There it is.
Today started dry but grey, now the wind has risen and there is fine rain blowing, rattling on the windows. I do not like the wind, it fights me and I have to force myself though it. I'm glad I decided to stay in.
Today is a neutral day, not really nasty weather, but Meh. Affects my moods.
I don't understand why folk wax lyrical about sunsets; yes, they are beautiful, but I find them sad, the dying of the day.
The night is beautiful when there are stars and hopefully meteors.
My favourite time of day is dawn, when the sky is mainly clear, before people are around to spoil the peace with cars, etc., I love to watch the sun rise with only the birds for company. It is like having a brand new notebook that I haven't written on, nothing to spoil the peace.
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so much anxiety I don’t know what to do
So much for getting better... 
Trying to let my sadness out
So much for my birthday
