No problems, no issues............... because I depend on myself, no one else. Good or bad?

[dore13]

I don't know why but I suddenly have come to kind of a Zen place after months of hell. I don't know why, I just decided to move on with my life. Has this happened to anyone else? I just decided to to focus on me, and I mean going to weekly meeting for support, seeing my doctors, doing a lot of physical exercise, and leaving the rest behind. I just walked away from all the drama people were trying to create and decided the only person who could take care of me physically, financially, and emotionally was myself. I decided to take responsibility for my life. The down side, I don't expect anyone to keep there word, if they do.... that's nice, but I no longer count on it and I plan for people not coming through for me. I don't know if that is good or bad anymore, but I guess it works for me. Does anyone have this kind of view point? I am just curious.

[hypercat54]

Yes me. I went through a terrible time in my 20's with my depression reaching an all time high. My family either didn't care or couldn't help, my doctor was useless, and when I ended up in hospital this wasn't much good either.

I faced the decision to either end my life or to take responsibility for it myself as I could only rely on me. I decided to try everything in my power to find some happiness or at least a life I could live so I sought out counselling. I taught myself things that had bypassed me as a child such as how to make friends, how to be kind to others, and so on. This worked and I am still here and reasonably ok many years later,

The main danger I have found with this attitude and what you have got to watch out for is being too independent and while not exactly spurning others help not seeking it out either. There are times we need to ask for help from family/friends and also to reciprocate and it's unhealthy and unproductive not to do this. There is such a thing as being too independent and interdependence is called for instead. x

[dore13 in reply to hypercat54]

I agree, I have a concern of becoming too independent to the point of shutting down my emotions all together which is not healthy either. There are times I do find myself less tolerant of others predicament because they let others take advantage. I constantly try to remind myself we are all in different places in life, and everyone is in a different place mentally. I do feel like I am walking on a tightrope. I do feel better knowing I am not the only one who has similar circumstances in this situation. I appreciate you writing, It makes me feel less alone, but also makes me aware of what I should watch out for. Thank You!

[hypercat54 in reply to dore13]

You are more mature than me coz I never gave a thought to the problems of being too independent until it happened, then I realised what I had done. I still find it difficult to ask for help even now.

I understand very well the 'I did it and you should be able to as well' attitude' and I have to watch what I say to people otherwise I can end up upsetting them. People tell me on here I am plain speaking and don't soft soap and maybe I should do the latter more - who knows! I am sure it comes from my own independence. To my credit though I can take being plain spoken back too x

[dore13 in reply to hypercat54]

LOL! Yes, me too. I guess perfection is one problem we don't have to worry about having. Asking for help is hard, and so is shutting my mouth when I think too harshly, but I will keep trying to be mindful, and try to be respectful. I may not always succeed, but I can keep trying!

[hypercat54 in reply to dore13]

Separated at birth? xx

[dore13 in reply to hypercat54]

LOL!

[Humankind-BE_BOTH]

Generally it's a good thing. In mycase when my time of Crisis came I had helped everybody else and there was nothing left in the well for me. Don't give yourself away when you're standing tall.

[dore13 in reply to Humankind-BE_BOTH]

I have no intention of it. I will not make that mistake again! Believe me, I have spread myself way too thin, and got nothing in return. I am not playing that game anymore.

[Humankind-BE_BOTH in reply to dore13]

👆😂👍👊🏾👊🏻👊🏽👊😎😍