Half of a whole

[Lostinthedark]

Just joined today. Having a hard time right now. 3 years ago my baby brother killed himself then in Feb this year my best and you could say only friend of 27 years was murdered by someone we have known our whole lives. When I say friend what I really mean is my other half. From the day we met we were side by side our whole lives. I don't have one big memory without her in it. Our daughters were even born on the same day 13 yes apart. She lost her brother to a car accident a few months before mine took his life. We were honestly 2 half's to a whole. I feel no one understands how I feel. I don't even know who I am. We were always a pair on everything and now I have no one like that. My family I guess doesn't know what to say so they don't say anything which is weird considering we are one of those family's who still do Sunday dinners at grandpas and your cousins are like siblings. But since that day in Feb not one of my family has called text anything. And before it was multiples a day. I feel like I lost everyone that day. And I have only lived where I do for 3 years and its 900 miles from all my family. So I went from having sometimes to many people talking to me about life a day to complete silence since that day. My husband is wonderful in a lot of ways but this he just tries to be supportive and I try to attempt to look normal when honestly I know half of who I am is missing and I am scared I will never feel real joy again.

[tamka38]

Sorry about your losses,everybody deal with death in many different ways. U probably need to go talk to a grief counselor.and maybe medication to

Help u get through these difficult times

Whatever u do don’t beat yourself up

If u can talk to your husband and let him

Know how u feeling he might be able to

Support u more sometimes we have to let people know what we need and stop fighting to act like u happy when u not

Am praying for u and I hope u start feeling better soon because u deserve to be happy and am sending u a hug 🤗 and am here if u need to talk

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry and hear how hurt you are. It sounds like you really need support and understanding, your family isn’t there for you like you thought they would be. Have you been to a grieving support group before? I know they are offered in larger communities and churches. Having a group of people relate to you and understand your feelings is so vital. Please reach out.

[Tikirob]

I can’t say I know any of the grief you are going through although I have had a great friend murdered when I was young and it me hard. No words can make sense of it or console you and I am sure every nerve you have in your body is just hanging on by a thread. Where is the love? It left you somewhere alone and that’s not right, you suffered, your friend too, not only that but tragedy is now a major part of your life experience and it’s something most people can’t relate to (and they even shut you out because of it). So all I can say to you is that I was complaining today over nonsense but I did not know what nonsense it was until your post kept me in check and to appreciate my life more. Thank you for sharing your situation and for what it’s worth I was feeling alone, scared to fall asleep, with anxiety pumping through me because of my mental health condition and decided to read some threads on this forum to take my mind off it. Each time I read or respond to somone it makes me feel less alone. I am going to take a moment of reflection right to meditate and send caring thoughts your way. Hang in there till the sun rises.