PTSD

[Poulson]

Hi there.

I have just got out of the psychiatric hospital after yet another relapse of my mental health. I thought my husband had sent me there so he could have an affair with the next door neighbour. I thought the nursing staff were trying to kill me. I was really out of it yet again It is coming up to Christmas again and I always get ill at this time of year. It is usually at religious times I get ill and I don't understand it. I have seen my son today which left me teary after he left. When he walked in he said to me, "you have lost a lot of weight mother." I have no interest in anything anymore and I am constantly looking back to the past and having constant nightmares and getting flashbacks. I am looking at my baby photos and trying to remember the god times at Christmas and birthdays with my children. Any tips would help please

[Hidden]

Christmas for many can be very problematic. All I can suggest is consider the positive and try and relax over the Christmas period. Enjoy the interaction between family members.

Many people with faith and negative expectations can feel low at this time of year. Also some become more Religious at this time of year especially if their expectations are not met.

If you are with Husband and Family at this time, bridges can be repaired and expectations can also be met. Hopefully you will be able to talk and move on especially if you can be more trusting in your outlook.

Remember Christmas is a time of trust and goodwill. Be open and trust, Enjoy the festive season, it is a celebration of a young birth.

BOB

[anonymous-one]

Concentrate on the good memories of your kids. They must have enjoyed the holidays...ripping through their presents and wanting you to see the smiles on your face. Secondly, treat yourself to some relaxing holiday. Give yourself permission to pamper yourself. For example, get you hair done and or a great 60 minute relaxing massage. That will take your mind to off the the funk you're having. We all have our low points in life. Please think about yourself and don't allow anyone to take that away from you. Be strong and just walk away from situations that bother you. Remember that you're the winner in your life. Take back your life. Guided imagery CDs and meditation CDs really help. Please don't get hung up on your past. I have severe PTSD too and it's always easier to give advise. Then it is doing it. I've gotten so much advise over the years. That I wasn't open enough to just take a few seconds to listen. I hope you're able to enjoy the holidays...

[Poulson in reply to anonymous-one]

,Thank you for your reply. I recall my daughter being a bridesmaid at my wedding to my first husband and my son was a pageboy. I know deep down that I have never harmed my children in any way no matter what mental health services throw at me. I was the victim not the perpetrator. I sued the health authority for medical negligence and was awarded £25.000.00. I was accused of all sorts of things which is totally untrue. I look at my baby photos and recall all the good times with my children like my children being born and birthdays, Christmases and Christenings. I was having nightmares about my daughters dad being with me in a psychiatric hospital last night. He was terrible towards me too. I have so much trauma in my life from men it is hard to know where to begin. My present husband knows all my past and loves me regardless. He knows I there is no harm in me and that I am not to blame for the past. I love him to bits and don't know where I would be without him. He knows my family have put all the blame on me as though I have done wrong to cover up the abuse I suffered from my brothers and cousin. Thank you again for your reply. My husband and I are going for our hair done after Christmas and my husband loves the new slimmed down version of me as I only weigh 10 and a 1/2 stone now!

[art62grammie]

I too suffer from PTSD from my childhood rape. I did not even know until 2 years that I was raped by own father. I had repressed it all for those years. I am 56 and Anorexia took me at 14. I recently have recovered. I just two years begin to remember my past. It is painful. I continue treatment after six years. I take Zoloft to help. I know there could be underlying issues with the religious thing. I know all too well. The flashbacks and relating to things all stem from my past. Love you and hang in there.