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I feel like I'm the only one and no one understands...

Txaps profile image
9 Replies

Hey everyone. I'm new and this is my very first post. I have been suffering from anxiety since October of last year. I began suffering panic attacks and was unable to drive. This had a major affect on me since I work for Adult Protective Services and I have to drive to meet my clients. I kept ending up in the hospital from panic attacks and tachycardia. After one hospital stay they referred me to a cardiologist at the age of 27. My cardiologist prescribed me Bystolic 5mg (beta blocker) which worked for the most part and got me back out there. I was convinced that my sudden anxiety was caused by my Mirena and had it removed in April. Things definitely started to look up and I felt almost 100% myself again. The anxiety came back in October and completely floored me. It's a struggle daily because my job performance is starting to suffer tremendously to the point where I am facing consequences of missing contacts. I have contacted the employee assistance line and I have scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist in January. It's to the point where I have to have a good cry before I leave for work every morning. My job is so demanding and staffing is always inconsistent leading to extremely high caseloads and management breathing down your back if you don't submit cases. Then you have to deal with the family members of your clients who are too crappy to help their own family members and demand to know what you're going to do to help them. I have my work phone turned permanently to Do Not Disturb because I flinch when I hear it ring or vibrate. My blood pressure has increased and my cardiologist wants to double my dose. If I leave my job I am going to be taking a massive pay decrease. I will also lose that ability to work from home. I know in my heart that APS is not where I need to be any longer since it causes me so much stress but what if my anxiety follows me to my new job? I am desperate to figure out what I need to do. As I am right now, I can't deal with the responsibility of making sure that people are safe and all their emotional and physical needs are met when I can't even take care of mine. I joined this group because no one around me suffers from anxiety and all they can offer is a non empathetic, "I'm sorry you're going through that."

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Txaps
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9 Replies
Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Welcome to this great support group Txaps. Reading over your post, I saw myself

at the start of my anxiety. Unfortunately, once we get that first Panic Attack, it leaves

an invisible scar in our mind and then the "what if" takes over. Before long our world

starts to shrink a little each day from driving, to needing to stay in our safety zone to

struggling each and every day in getting out while performing our job.

As our emotional issues start to affect our physical ones, we reach out for help. Panic Attacks, Tachycardia, H/R and Blood Pressure levels rise all due to the over abundance

of Adrenaline caused by our fear and worry. It is difficult to find those around us to

understand. It is an unseen condition which doesn't go away that quickly. We get advice

from friends and family that only put us in a deeper frustration and fear in why we can't

shake this off.

Medication/Therapy are usually recommended by our doctors to give us some relief. However, it is not the magic answer to our problem. It is only a Band-Aid for us to find

methods/tools that will enable us to not stay stuck and continue on in life.

After much exploration/studying research regarding the Mind/Body connection, did I

find the answer that worked for me. First was Accepting that this was Anxiety caused.

Not harmful, not life threatening. But I had to really believe in that. Second was trying

Meditation/Mindfulness in living in the moment which helped calm my body and relax

my mind and Third and most important was learning Deep Breathing. That became the

Key to my going out again after 5 years of being Agoraphobic. My key to driving again

after 5 years.

Practice makes perfect until my deep breathing came without a thought. Unless you

perfect your breathing skills, it could easily go into shallow breathing or even holding

your breath when anxious which does nothing but exacerbate your fear. Fear begets

fear and the cycle is formed.

I'm glad you have become a part of our virtual family. As you interact with others, you

will find that you are not alone as well as find tools that can help you as well.

Welcome dear friend :) xx

Txaps profile image
Txaps in reply to Agora1

Thank you this is exactly what I needed to hear. I am going to look into the breathing techniques you mentioned!

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Txaps

You Tube is my "go to". One of the videos

I listen to is "Sinking & slowing Breathing Meditation"

by the Quiet Mind Café.

The key to deep breathing while driving (or any other time) is

taking in a breath from the belly, hold for a few seconds and then

slowly exhale. It's with that exhale that you will actually abolish the

adrenaline feeling for those moments.

Once you are well trained in deep breathing, you can be stuck at a

stop light, at a railroad crossing, merging in traffic or standing in

line at a checkout counter as well as something as simple as watching

tv. It works each and every time before you even need it.

It's amazing something so simple can reverse the anxious symptoms.

Good Luck. I'm here to help you through this. xx

SallG profile image
SallG

I've had some of the same problems, and for me, Sertaline (generic for Zoloft) has helped a lot. I know not everyone wants to take meds, and there are side-effects, but I was having anxiety attacks, trouble breathing, etc, when I did any public speaking, and I have to do public speaking for my job. So, not good. I'm still generally a bit anxious even on the Sertaline, but i haven't had an anxiety attack again.

Txaps profile image
Txaps in reply to SallG

At this point I will try anything that the psychiatrist recommends. I will take a little bit anxious over call EMS to check me out at my house anxious any day lol. I'm glad that the Sertaline has been working for you!

SallG profile image
SallG in reply to Txaps

I hope it works for you!!

in reply to Txaps

Good for you!!Look into the breathing/meditation suggestions. You’re not alone. I’m 55 and have had it for at least 20 yrs. I struggle, but refuse to give up. Please have hope that this will get better! A great start by joining this group.... I’m new too!!

Txaps profile image
Txaps in reply to

Oh trust me I have always felt that it was going to get better. I have accepted that this is my situation but there is always a purpose to the pain. I am new I just joined yesterday and I have already feel uplifted by everyone's posts and responses. Agora1 did mention the deep breathing techniques that she found useful on Youtube.

in reply to Txaps

I think we all want help and also want to help others! I will always listen! Sometimes it simply helps to know that you are SO not alone!

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