Guess I'm not the only one

[Olinick]

I haven't been here in a long time but my anxiety, urge to start cutting again, and depression are out of control. I was wondering if others who suffer mental health issues were facing the same thing while the pandemic is going on. After seeing other people's posts I guess my question has been answered. Others are feeling the same way. What are you doing to get your mental health in control? I live alone, and although I do have to work from home, which fills my day some, I find all I think about is getting the razor blade out and start cutting. If I am not thinking about that I am having repeated panic attacks. I am not even totally sure why all of this is happening. Maybe because I am alone my thoughts keep going to the bad things. How are the rest of you handling everything? I did take the dog for a 2 mile walk the other day which helped but only for a short time. I had a phone appointment today with the psychiarist and she gave me the number for the local crisis center. When do you reach a point you have to call them? What happens when you call them? I have never done that before.

[Olinick]

I guess just getting it off my chest here has helped. I think I may be able to sleep now. I will contact the counselor or the psychiarist tomorrow. I go back to the counselor next Saturday but I think I will have to contact her sooner. Because of the virus most of the appointments now have to be done on the phone anyway. Thank you for getting back to me. I am still having panic attacks but at least I am not thinking about cutting at this moment. I will try to do some meditating and see if that works. It is almost 3 AM and haven't been able to settle down enough to sleep. At least I don't have to work tomorrow. I do appreciate your help tonight. If things don't improve, I guess I will have to call the crisis center. Usually I have better control when everything gets out of hand.

[Olinick]

Tomorrow is supposed to be nice out so maybe taking the dog for a long walk will be good.

[Weeniedoglady]

Hi olinick,

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, we're all in this together but it's especially hard for those of us with previous mental health conditions. I have seen a ramp up in my anxiety and panic attacks which i had previously been managing quite well.

I know this is going to sound easierthan done but have you tried some kind of CBT? (Cognitive behavioral therapy). It takes time and practice but the idea is to eventually replace those negative thoughts and urges with replacement thoughts and behaviours that are more positive. I'm sure if you search online you can find a lot about it or even being quarantined at home is a great time to order a book on it from Amazon and really focus on it.

My dog is such a source of comfort for me....just think how important you are to that little furball and remember he wants you to stay well so you can take care of him

Please reach out if you are ever feeling low...theres no shame in it.

Big hugs!

[Olinick in reply to Weeniedoglady]

Thanks so much for responding. Today is slightly better but I still called the counselor, just waiting for her to call back. I have done the CBT but I find when I am in a, I guess, crisis situation (I don't like to think of it that way) I can't think of the strategies. I got a response on the PTST post about going through the alphabet and come up with a name for each letter. When the panic attacks started again this morning I did it for girls names and then boys names (do you know how hard it is to come up with a girl's name for Q and a boy's name for Y) and that helped to slow them down. I am going to put on the diffusers in my condo and put in essential oils for calming me down. Usually I can control my issues but every few years something hits when it is all out of control. I guess I am at that point. Although I have had repeated panic attacks today, I am not obsessive about cutting myself. So that is an improvement. I don't feel comfortable call crisis center so it is nice to know I can come here. Shortly I will take the dog for a 2 mile walk.

[Poodie in reply to Olinick]

Hi Olinick.

Sounds like you have had some good suggestions and you feel somewhat better. It is always nice to have someone to talk to and not to feel alone. You know you can post here as much as you want. Can you Substitute posting here for some other things that are harmful and that you do not want to do such as cutting?

Best wishes and keep posting.

[sunandbutterfly]

I am glad that you are able to call your psychiatrist. I know that it is difficult to be alone and that the social distancing while helpful for the virus can be difficult for our mental health. Don;t be afraid to call the crisis numbers if you are not able to get in touch with your psychiatrist and a walk or some exercise does not help. (Have you tried any of the workouts on zoom?) Or write a letter to someone else you know that is in isolation?

I know that being able to leave video messages for friends, writing letters, praying for people, and going for walks outside have been helpful for me.

Hope that today is a better day for you!

[Olinick in reply to sunandbutterfly]

Thank you for those suggestions. It's funny you suggested writing a letter. I had a friend that we wanted to keep the art of letter writing alive in this day and age of nothing but technology. Our lives got busy and we lost contact. Maybe I will mail him a letter again.

[sunandbutterfly]

I am glad that you are able to call your psychiatrist. I know that it is difficult to be alone and that the social distancing while helpful for the virus can be difficult for our mental health. Don;t be afraid to call the crisis numbers if you are not able to get in touch with your psychiatrist and a walk or some exercise does not help. (Have you tried any of the workouts on zoom?) Or write a letter to someone else you know that is in isolation?

I know that being able to leave video messages for friends, writing letters, praying for people, and going for walks outside have been helpful for me.

Hope that today is a better day for you!