i’m lost

[svtmia]

i think i’ve been suffering from depression for almost a year. i think the first time i had one of these like breakdowns it was after a ‘trauma’ i guess and they keep reoccurring ever since then. everytime i think i’ve ‘gotten over’ these periods of time where i kind of loose all hope and it’s impossible for me to see a future, i act so different my family have asked if i was drunk, and most of all i have depressive and suicidal thoughts. i don’t know what’s wrong with me, i’m so nervous and sad pretty much all the time, i can’t ask anyone for help and i don’t know what to do. i feel like all the problems i have are slowly crushing me, i can’t breathe and i feel constantly on the verge of a panic attack or breaking down. i just don’t know how much longer i can handle it, i feel like i can’t talk to anyone about it. i hardly have anyone i trust or am even friends with, the only person i’ve admitted to these feelings to are my best friend who lives hundreds of miles away. when i tried telling my parents they basically told me to get over it, i can’t live this way anymore but i need to talk to someone, or literally anyone

[Stilltrying_]

Do you have the opportunity to talk to someone in the community who you trust like a teacher or school counsellor or church member ? Or a therapist if you can afford it?

It sounds like your trauma has triggered all these feelings. It would help you if you could talk to someone even though i know how hard that is.

Or you could write anonymously on here like you have and see if writing a bit more about it can help as people will hopefully respond to you and even the act of writing can help free up some of your feelings. So sorry you are struggling at the moment.

[Rick1on1]

Hi,

I would second stilltrying recommendation that your share your trauma and thoughts in this forum - if there is no one else to talk to.

Although anonymous be careful about the detail you share so you cant be identified and your privacy is protected.

There are many people who feel like this everyday and by taking small steps put themselves on a path to recovery.

If you prefer, you can also private message with someone you feel comfortable with.

Good luck and take care - there is a silver lining to every dark cloud!

[art62grammie]

I too have suffered from trauma. I became mentally ill at 14. That is called Anorexia. I am 56 now and recently recovered. For forty years I was ill. I know Anorexia is all about control. I suffer from PTSD which I see my mental doctor and take a small dose of Sertraline daily. I want you to know that suicide is not the answer. I was never suicidal until my recent divorce. I have recovered from that. I never attempted to kill myself through that divorce. That one day I wanted the pain to end. I was rescued by my best friend. I want to let you know the ones you leave behind are those people who suffer after a suicide. NO WAY DO YOU THINK LIKE THIS. You need to speak to loved ones about how you think and feel. Talking to us online too. You do not need to struggle alone. I did that for 40 years. Anorexia almost took my life a few years ago. We all are here to help you. You share with us. YOU BE STRONG AND DON'T LET DEPRESSION TAKE YOU. LOVE YOU AND PLEASE REACH OUT.