It’s back.... again

[one-love]

I absolutely hate myself sometimes... I’m sure there’s other people out there that get like me but it always seems like when the seasons change and the days get shorter my depression flares up again this seems to be a recurring issue. I’ve noticed I have always had depression since about age 7 when my parents split up but it always seems to get worse in the winter months the recurring negative thoughts and suicide thoughts literally make me feel like I’m going crazy sometimes. The sad part is I’m actually at a good place in my life for the most part and I think that what makes this so much worst because I should have no reason to think or feel like this. I’m just so tired of the docs too and them always so quick to push there pills on me too to fix how I feel. I feel like the pills they give me mess more with my feelings sometimes then if I don’t take them. This is just such a horrible vicious cycle I would love to just be normal and enjoy this life, I mean it’s already short as it is. That’s what makes the suicidel thoughts even worse because I truly don’t want to hurt myself at all I just want the stupid thoughts about it not to enter my mind anymore. If anyone has some advice that doesn’t involve a cocktail of RX drugs I would greatly appreciate it, I have been using medical cannabis which has seemed to help a great deal but I still have my struggles. The other part that’s frustrating is people suggest talking with a therapist and that sounds great but I don’t have $35 to pay to talk to someone every week I have a family to feed and take care of and that’s the price with insurance. I love how the gov wants us to get help but then nickels and dime us to death to get it.

[NatalieRose]

The first thing that came to mind when you said that you always have these feelings when the season is changing is “seasonal depression”. I FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY. I’ve tried meditating and it really helped. Hope you feel better

[SlothTamer]

Oh I totally get worse in the winter months. The lack of sunlight, vitamin D wreaks havoc on my psyche.

I also have a hard time paying $35 for a therapist.....weekly! I feel ya.

Talk therapy is supposed (in most cases ) to go hand in hand with medication, but it’s so expensive. That’s why I am glad I found this app because I do understand the value of talking with a therapist, so I can try and vent here which I’ve found helpful.

Exercise also really helps with the meds. I try to at least do some stretching each day to help circulate the blood through the body and also

take deep breaths to refocus when I get overwhelmed. Also, drink lots of fluid regularly. I definitely feel better on exercise days, I just have a terrible time maintaining a routine.

Please know you are not alone. Feel free to vent and also respond to others. It truly does help to connect and offer advice. 🌸🌸

[baileyf14]

I am so sorry you are going through this. Have you tried talking with a close friend or family member about what you are going through? It always helps me to have someone I know to talk to because I know they will always be there for me when I need it most. If you are having reoccurring suicidal thought PLEASE do not hesitate to tell someone! Your life is precious and there are people on this earth that love you and care for you so much. Whenever you are feeling this way, call 1-800-273-8255. They can help you so much and talk you through things. I hope everything gets better!