How to break away from toxic friends and family?

[Sphinx103]

Hello, I’ve been realizing over the last few months my friends and family are toxic. I know I have severe social problems, & often tend to push away. I’m open with my illness, & even apologize for it at times. My family and friends have all been having the same conversations with me, & at times have been extremely rude. I’ve been taking it with a grain of salt, & continuing to try and work through my depression and anxiety with DBT coping skills. I’ve begun to isolate myself so I don’t deal with the toxicity in my life. I feel like everyone is out to get me, including my doctors and therapist. I’m thinking about trying medications again, or continue with only therapy. Part of me wants to close out my IRA’s, and move across the country and get away from it all, or put it into trust funds for my nieces and nephews and say goodbye to the world. I feel all alone except for my pets. They’re the only ones who show me any love. I don’t know how to break away from my family or friends, & feel trapped. They hardly care for me, and I don’t think it’ll change no matter what I do.

[Hidden]

I disowned my family twent years ago because they wouldn't recognize sexual abuse by my brother. He will never see my daughter or speak to me again. My sister wants to keep it all a secret but I'm not gonna do that so I am on my own and that's OK. Better than with them. I am lonely but I have my husband and children and I have to keep them safe. Family is not everything, especially if they are toxic. Look out for yourself first because they won't.

[Sphinx103 in reply to Hidden]

I apologize for what you went through. I went through severe sexual abuse as a child, & removed that side of my family from my life. I’ve always put my family I have in front of myself, but realizing that they don’t really care for me unless I can do something for them. A lot has changed since my Mother passed away a couple years ago. I just feel it’s time to accept it for what it is and move forward in my life in a more positive direction. Start taking care of me, but I feel guilty doing so.

[Hidden in reply to Sphinx103]

Don't feel guilty. You do you and if others arent on your side it's ok. You can't convince them to love and support you. I am lonely but I know it's for the best

[Sphinx103 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, I needed to hear that. I already feel lonely, so it can’t be any worse. I hope you’re enjoying your Friday night with your family.

[san_ray70 in reply to Hidden]

My daughter told me years ago she was abused by her father, we went through all the police and courts, but apparently it was too late. He got away with it, I supported her and her family. All of a sudden she has cut herself off from me and mine. She will not answer the phone or letters. Her daughter is now 18 started talking to me on F.B. for a brief time, that suddenly stopped. I hope it is her every time the phone rings. My mum died recently, having not seen her grandaughter or great grandaughter for years. None of them came to her funeral.

[Hidden in reply to san_ray70]

I'm sorry. Sometimes we have displaced anger and blame with abuse. It's hard to confront the actual perpetrator.

[Hidden]

Hey Sphinx,

I totally get it. Honestly, people can be a$$holes, and the closest ones to you can be the biggest of the bunch. Lots of times people will downplay or be rude when it comes to subject that the can identify with but are unwilling to admit. It's all you, sorry but that's not me. Other times, people are just stuck living the way society has dictated, I mean I've said this before...so many cultures still do the arraigned marriage thing. I'd say maybe, take a damn trip! If you have a desire to live somewhere else, go visit the place! See if you love it and you never know! I know it can be hard to think of being alone and on your own but think of it this way, if you do leave, your family is not going anywhere so you can always come back and deal with the BS you're familiar with. Take a chance brother! If I had the cash I'd be in North Dakota right now just to see Mount Rushmore! lol