Food scares me 😞: I am so anxious... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Food scares me 😞

weegmack
weegmack

I am so anxious about everything I cook. I’m always afraid I’ve cooked it wrong or badly, so that all my family gets food poisoning. I obsess about expirey dates and whether food is safe to eat. I spent a few years self-starving, because I was so afraid food would make me sick. But I got so underweight and my bowel basically shut down, that I had to make myself eat. I’m about to have dinner and I am terrified 😞

4 Replies

Hi weegmack, reading over your profile, I can understand some of the reason for

you having this fear of food. Having had IBS since a child as well as other digestive

issues can psychologically put that fear into you. You fear the repercussions that food

can have with some of your physical issues.

As for your worries regarding expiration dates, food poisoning and the safety of food, sounds like it may have come from an incident that happened in your life regarding food

and getting very sick. Also having someone constantly telling you that you need to be

careful about food spoiling or you'll get sick.

When I was a kid, I remember my dad being overly concerned about things spoiling if

left out too long. Well he didn't even give us a chance to use the milk or butter before

it was put back in the fridge lol. Also 'don't eat this or don't eat that because it will

give you a stomach ache." He meant well but when I got a little older, I developed

IBS for some years. Nothing was wrong, it was a psychological response to what I was

fed into my mind everyday. Those thoughts put anxiety and fear in me and I developed

Health Anxiety over stomach issues.

Eating is not only an important part of our existence but can be an enjoyable time with

family and friends. I would suggest getting professional help in finding out the reasons

behind your fears. I found for myself that therapy was the start in my healing. xx

weegmack
weegmack in reply to Agora1

Thank you for your reply ❤️. I’m just so sick of myself just now! When I was a young girl, about 11, I developed IBS and my parents just didn’t help me at all. In fact, it irritated my mother and she just wasn’t there for me at all. I’ve been in and out of therapy over the years and a therapist told me I’ve actually suffered a degree of neglect as a child...that is, when I was having very bad upset tummies, I was coping alone. It would often strike in the middle of the night and my mum would get so cross when I woke her, so I stopped expecting help. We used to go on caravan holidays and my dad wouldn’t let me use the chemical toilet if I was depserate to go. So I had some terrible nights of holding in diarrhoea 😞. If I suddenly needed the bathroom when we were out and about, my mum wouldn’t come with me or help me find one. Awful. It’s never left me. So, any thought of anything that can cause me sickness or diarrhoea, then I’m off in a panic. I’m also, as a result, a complete germaphobe!

I’m in the UK, and our waiting lists are very long for mental health just now. However, I have an appointment on the 17th to see a community psychiatric nurse (CPN). Xx

Agora1
Agora1 in reply to weegmack

weegmack, thank you for sharing your story in how your fears grew out of control.

It all makes sense why the fear of food and germs is something you focus on. You

were made to feel alone in dealing with your IBS at such a young age. That had to

be so frightening for you as well as painful. The subconscious mind doesn't forget

that and so it keeps playing those events over in your mind making you fear being

put back into that position again..

I'm glad to hear that on the 17th you will be seeing a psychiatric nurse. I hope you

connect with her because I think the time has come for you to address this long

overdue issue from your childhood. What we fear past and present need to be

talked out. I found it very helpful for myself when I suffered from IBS in the past.

Good Luck, let us know how you do on the 17th. It's going to be okay. :) xx

weegmack
weegmack in reply to Agora1

Thank you so much. I very much appreciate all your kind words and support. Xxx

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