My life is meaningless and it scares me

[sarahsfeelings]

I've generally been feeling low lately and the thing is one day I wake up and I'm ready to rock the world and the next day I wake up and don't even wanna get out of bed because I have nothing important to do and I don't see a point either. I get up and get some stuff done anyway because I don't wanna blame myself. What I've deeply realized recently is that my life has no meaning and it's super boring. My teenage years are almost over and I realized that I haven't done anything exciting. I have less friends than I ever have, you know in some movies that person who doesn't have any friends and spends all her/his time at home is called a loser, which may not be right but when ever I see that in a movie I'm like : Hey that's me! I'm a loser! I don't do anything that I like (except watching movies and reading books which are easy). I don't do any activities that require getting out of the house(aka my comfort zone). I haven't been on a trip(vacation) in 10 years I'm not even lying, it makes me cry every time that I think about it because it also means that I didn't have a normal childhood. Me and my parents could never spend time together and have fun because it would end up in them fighting about the smallest things. I can't remember the last time I had a birthday party or the last time I got a proper gift from a friend. Every single day is the same and it hurts because these are the days of my life just passing by like it's nothing. What scares me the most is that I think this is never gonna change and it's always gonna be the same, I don't believe I can change it because I have no motivation or moral support. My dreams are just dreams and don't mean anything. I feel so anxious about it and to be honest I feel sorry for myself and my younger self when I look at other people. I don't know how to feel better.

[lily220]

I honestly relate to so many things that you have said. It is so hard for me to get myself to leave my apartment and do anything productive! And as the days go by I keep loosing more and more connections with people who were once a big part of my life. I just feel like I don’t have the energy to talk to them because they would just not understand what I am going through

[crowningglory19]

I'm so sorry you are feeling so sad and without purpose. Maybe if you volunteer it will give you purpose and as you are helping others, it will help you too. Plus, if you do volunteer you will find like minded people and friends thru that. Taking a good multi vitamin helps give your body the energy and focus it needs too, plus magnesium which will help calm your anxious heart. Ginseng is great to get rid of sticky negative thoughts that loop too. Blessings dear, you are strong, you will get better soon. Also, counseling is good, and many churches offer it free.

[pink318]

Hi- I’m so sorry you feel this way. Your post reminds me of my friend’s daughter. She was 16 when she struggled severely with depression. She cried most of the time and isolated herself.

She struggled a lot but now she slowly recovered emotionally after she had a talk with a trusted friend, she’s actively attending a life group for teens and she also has a mentor.

Do you have a trusted friend that you can confide in, or a community? It would be helpful if you have someone to talk to when needed. Counseling would be great as well.

Feel free to come back anytime, we are here for you. Sending prayers your way. God bless you.

[Midori]

Many of us feel like you do at present, A lot of it is down to Covid, and the current uncertainties of life, Isolation and all the other things that get us down. Things Will get better, with the help that you can get from a therapist or your doctor. It doesn't help to have a dysfunctional family, I know.

Cheers, Midori

[Roia]

You know Ghandi once said ..everything you do in life has no importance yet it is still important you do it anyway. Follow your dreams, get help. Because you are important.No one will come to your rescue, you need to take your first step and everything else will follow. I too had somewhat difficult childhood but now i choose to look at the positive vs negative experiences. Things that made me stronger, resilient, empathetic. I don't expect things from people anymore, I'd rather invest in my development and gathering of positive vibes.

There is no advice to fit all. Yet i want to encourage you to act, do, fail and repeat again. If we do nothing, nothing will ever change.

Sending you warm hug!

[sarahsfeelings in reply to Roia]

thank you for these beautiful words

[Mamatired in reply to Roia]

This is lovely. It’s not easy when those thoughts become persistent. Be kind to yourself. You’re human and it’s difficult to be “on” all of the time. You are not meaningless. Your feelings are valid. You’ve made a difference in my day today by giving me something to relate to. I feel less alone so thank you for sharing your experience. If you’re not sure where to start, start with one thing today that will make you feel better or that will be good for you (ie- drink water daily at 7 am). Once you get that habit, move to the next item to add to your list.

[Daveacr1959]

Sarah, you might want to think about being a part time writer. You have a way of putting on paper, things that most can’t. I will ask you to get 45 minutes of daily cardio exercise to produce endorphins that battle anxiety and depression. We all struggle with it. Anyone who has raised a child, knows how important you are to your parents and family. Parents are not perfect. But the fact that you are alive and a teenager, they did something right and loving. Take your eyes off a little kid at the wrong time and it can be disaster. It would be easy for anyone to list the faults of thier parents. But you mean the world to them, trust me. Just take the good days with the bad and know bad days pass . Get up and follow your dream or passion. If you don’t have one , just wait you will. Count your blessings be a positive thinker not a negative thinker. Get back to me after the week of daily cardio exercise.. and thank me., lol .. lol.. laugh more too

[sarahsfeelings in reply to Daveacr1959]

very interesting suggestions. Thank you.

[endofheartache1290]

So your life is far from meaningless. It's simply that you haven't found the things you would like to do yet. People often like to think that meaning is a set plan or a set path that they must walk but things change all the time and you may find that something you thought wasn't important is actually very meaningful to you. It's not all about just doing things, but what those things means to you and how they make you feel. The problem, as I see it, mostly because I do the same thing, is getting bogged down in the big picture. There are thoughts of I should have these deep personal connections but there is no thoughts of how to work to achieve that. And same things with work/school we go this is what I want my life to be like instead of finding the things that we like and adapting as we move along. The most important part of meaning is discovering who you are because what is meaningful will be unique to you and only you. The work you like, the shows you watch, the music you are into, the food you eat, the hobbies you have. All of these go together to actualize who you are. And so figuring that out is an important step in finding out what you want in your life.

You are not alone in these feelings. I have wasted the majority of my life on people who only hurt me. I get worried that things will never change for me either. I think this is a common fear we all have. But things will change it just takes a bit of time and effort on your part. Again, self discovery would be very helpful and when you do understand the things you want then go for them. No one can say anything about the things that fulfill you because they fulfill you. It's about you and not others wants or needs. You do matter. You are enough and you always have been. Keep pushing that comfort zone out a little bit at a time and you will be surprised how far you get in a year from now. Keep going because you are worth it.

[HisDaughter]

Dear Sarah,

I am very sorry about how you feel!

To tell you the truth, I used to feel the same way you do because for many years that I was depressed I wouldn't see progress in my life and I didn't have any exciting experiences. It was painful and, just like you, I have felt sorry for my younger self sometimes.

But since I have suffered from depression for many years, I have received therapy and counseling. That has helped a lot, even in the years when my life wouldn't change or improve.

Effective therapy/counseling helps lots of people and I recommend it. But something else that helped me a lot too was listening to Christian music and good sermons.

Sarah, I am sorry that you haven't had a loving family! And I'm sorry that you haven't received a birthday present in a long time!

Unfortunately, we have suffering in this life. But I would like to tell you that no person is worthless and no life is insignificant. God didn't make any losers.

I used to think that I must be a loser because nothing important would happen in my life while others had lots of blessings. And I noticed people portrayed as losers in movies too. But the truth is that God sees things differently from the way society or culture does.

You are a human being whom God created and you are UNIQUE, VALUABLE, IMPORTANT and TALENTED!

Some people seem to have great lives, but I know that some of them have suffering in their lives too. And each one of us has to do some work to change what we do not like about our lives. If we're unhappy about the way our life has turned out, we all have to take action to improve our circumstances.

Volunteering is a good thing to do and it has benefits. You could also attend and get involved in a church, if you aren't already. A therapist or a counselor could give you some more good ideas and tips.

And God will always be available to help us! He desires to be a part of our lives and we can always talk to Him and ask Him to help us.

Please don't believe your negative thoughts! YOU MATTER A LOT! YOUR LIFE IS VERY IMPORTANT!

[metalminded]

Hi sarahsfeelings. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. The world is so different than it was even a few years ago.

Do you work after school? If not, why not look for a job someplace you may have an interest in, maybe a bookstore? You’ll meet new people and interact with others in your community.

Plus, you’ll earn money to save up for a trip somewhere with your best friend.

I never had a lot of friends but a couple of close buddies and we hung out all the time.

We took a trip to Florida during spring break one year (I’m in Illinois), would go up to Wisconsin and Michigan fishing, or just hang out at each other’s houses and sit and talk.

Those are memories I cherish and we really didn’t do anything grand.

Sometimes you just have to make your own memories and not count on others, even family, to make them for you.