Guilt from hurting myself

[JM1064]

On Wednesday I was having a pretty bad day, trying to hold myself together but when I got home an anxiety attack came upon me and I just literally couldn’t stop it, or at least it felt that way. I tried so hard to resist it but the episode lasted so long and I felt out of control with my body which happens sometimes. I punched a pole outside of my house and immediately was so mad at myself. I looked down at my wrist and I thought it was broken as did my family. I iced it for the rest of the night and asked my teacher the next day (I am in nursing school and he is a Dr) and he said it wasn’t broken but I should keep an eye on it. I am planning on getting it checked out because it still hurts. It looks gross and crooked with a nasty bruise but more painful than the physical pain is the guilt I feel like, “why did I do this to myself” and “I feel so bad for my body how could I treat it like this” even though I really didn’t mean to and felt completely out of control in the moment like something else was controlling my actions. How do I stop feeling guilty and sorry for myself? Everytime I look at my wrist I feel so sad.

[Hidden]

sounds like you have a lot of pent up anger and stress. guilt is something commonly felt by people with depression. when your hand heals, maybe you can find a healthy way to vent so you’re less likely to ‘explode’ and hurt yourself again; like writing, drawing, yoga, walking, meditation, cooking or going to a gym. i hope that helps.

[Hidden]

You could look at it like this. With anxiety our brain is always going. Always obsessing about things. In your case it is causing you to think about your wrist and when you do you have all the negative self talk flooding you. Which is making you feel depressed and guilty. You need to challenge the statements you posted. For example. Why did you do this to yourself. You can say I was having an anxiety attack during which people make rash decisions. I wasn’t in full control of myself and I accidentally hurt myself. No one is perfect. Be gentle with yourself.

[bluesky85 in reply to Hidden]

it hard to do those things for example change the negative into positive .

[Racheezy]

I understand how you’re feeling. I hate it when I get bad and my brain gets stuck on repeat. It’s bad enough that we have anxiety and depression. On top of that, overthinking and replaying how awful we are. There was a time I started hurting myself because I couldn’t stand being in my own skin. I know it gets difficult but you can’t let that those rash moments define who you are. You’re more than what happened. Don’t feel guilty. You were able to at least release some of that intoxicating energy that was smothering you. Try to work out, go for a run or write what bothering you down. Personally, I get a little lazy doing those things so I try to go play with my dog or take a small walk. You’re not alone. It was just a bad day and hopefully tomorrow will be an easier day.

[Jacaroo]

Emotions and feelings can get out of control. I'm sorry that you hurt yourself and you feel upset. Maybe there is a way you can take that guilt that you feel and use it towards asking yourself how you can make changes for the future? I think regret isn't a bad thing if we can use it towards making positive changes. I would consider using this event in your life to challenge yourself to get some help with anxiety, anger, depression. What are the negative and destructive thoughts coming from the emotions and how can you handle it differently next time? We cannot control the emotions that rise up in us, but we can learn to control our thoughts that result and our actions that usually follow out of control thinking. As a nurse, maybe try to think of what you would advise a patient to do in this situation. It allows us to step outside ourselves a little and think more rationally about some positive steps to take. I hope that your hand heals soon and it's a positive reminder about how you took some positive steps for a healthier you. You can look back on this and remember how out of control you were, but that you are not that way anymore because you did something really great for yourself in getting some help.

[Coralrose5]

Omg when I was very anxious months ago I hit my head on something then thought omg I could have given myself a concussion why did I do that. It’s normal to be so frustrated but hopefully you learned to slow down and not be self destructive

[jadenbeau]

Hey

Don't feel bad, you did what you did because the anxiety just overwhelmed you it's like it fills our body's untill we just snap. It's because we don't know what to do or how to ease it and we get angry, frustrated with O where to go or not knowing what to do. We get mad and just lash out. I get it. Get yourself a punch bag it does wonders x