HOPELESS & VERY LONELY

[Cocoon3]

I’m gonna give a quick outline of what’s heavy on my mind :

•chronic pain •chronic Reoccurring Depression •no communication from husband,about anything • never touches me, in 4 yrs, only once & that was due to my persuasion • I’ve always been outgoing & the planner, & center of attention •lost my job of 11 yrs due depression •Best Friend Of 30 yrs died in January •no family or friends have checked in on me, knowing the void in my life now •my 19 yr old daughter is tired of hearing about my problems, I’ve been her mom & dad & always arranged my life around her •my mom-is elder But has always made me feel that I wasn’t good enough, no compliments etc & even when I hv reached out to her about my depression & pain & suicide thoughts, her only response was .. u can’t take care of yourself so u sure can’t take care of me• I’ve had a list of fun things to do as a couple on the fridge for 4months & nothing •due to misunderstanding & sum family members getting in our Private life, my hubby’s family was told I had an affair by a noisy family member,which is a lie.. but now there’s judgement & I’m too tired to fight anymore & hubby won’t just tell people “look she’s my wife, if I’m ok w/ her, y’all should be• my hubby doesn’t stand up for me (from my ex calling me the C word, to neighbors screaming for me to shut up singing, to a man stranger, slipping his hand between my butt cheeks & going all the way to my front area... not once has He ever stood up for me• I’ve battled serious health issues •I’ve always enjoyed helping others & now I need help & no one is here• my 3 closest loved ones have all died in the past 5 yrs & the ones I have now, are all serious & don’t know my humor nor lend a helping hand or ear. •my track record of relationships has been full of physical & emotional abuse •••I just don’t understand how people can overlook someone’s emotions so carelessly, that they are literally helping to dig the grave of that person- who would do anything to help others !! THIS ALL JUST MAKES A LONELY WORLD FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESNT ASK FOR MATERIAL THINGS ONLY LOVE & TIME

[pinkflamingo01]

I am so sorry that you have to go through this. It's hard for people who don't suffer from depression to understand what you're going through. Prayers x

[Sillysausage234]

🕊🌞 good vent get it out people will listen here best wishes

[viiexplorer]

Thank you for sharing. Think it's nice you are letting your frustrations, worries and concerns out, instead of bottling them like I do.

[Cocoon3 in reply to viiexplorer]

Well this is a few yrs of bottled up emotions that I just sort of just splattered on the floor.. like when u drop a glass bottle of ketchup

[Notame]

You deserve so much more. Sounds like you are a wonderful caring woman and give so much of yourself to others.... if I learned one thing after leaving an abusive relationship is “ people can’t do to you what you don’t allow them to”

Surround yourself with people who treat you well , who appreciate you, perhaps get involved in something you like to do , I understand it’ can be hard at first , baby steps , try just one hour , one day , doing something for you that you enjoy.

Big hugs , don’t let anyone make you feel worthless or less of a person, you valuable and have so much love to share!!

[Cocoon3 in reply to Notame]

Wow!! Thank you sooo much!! Your kind words mean more than u know. I made it thru the day.. I was not alone for about 2 hrs & the remainder was just me. Hubby went to his family Thanksgiving. I’m just really really tired.... & I had this feeling b4 & thats what scares me.. when u start to not care, you know..!Thank You for reaching out