I am new here. Crisis line gave me link to this place, I am not sure how helpful it will be for me, to be honest. I am almost 41 yrs old. I am adoptee who is deaf single childless with no family support and dealing with fibromyalgia among other health issues. I can’t work full time because of health issues. I have no one, just my 12 yrs old dog. I feel when I meet new people I would be seen as burden, inconvenient. I can’t give much, my body won’t allow me, my emotions is overwhelming. I am under extreme stress and my anxiety is very high because of financial issues. I hate raw cards that was dealt to me. I have suicidal thoughts but no action planned, but risk is high when my dog pass away someday. I just don’t want to merely existing and surviving day to day but I don’t see a way out of it to achieve dreams I have.
PS I wish there are live chat on this site. It is easier for me one on one in real time.
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Lily_Raven
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hELLO IM REALLY SORRY THAT YOU FEEL LIKE BUT ITS UNDERSTANDING WHY YOU FEEL LIKE THAT BUT WITH LOVE AND SUPPORT AND FROM THIS AND OTHER SUPPORTS FROM HEALTH UNLOCKED YOU WILL FIND CARING PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU AS A PERSON AND WANT TO HELP YOU HELP YOURSELF AND ONCE YOU GET COMFORTABLE WITH THE GROUPS YOU WILL FILL RIGHT AT HOME AND ALSO WHEN YOUR DOG KNOWS THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG SO SMILE AND BE HAPPY AND HAVE A NICE
My name is Mike a pleasure to meet you . I just want to say , that I am new here as well , there is a lot of people who understand , feel , and even are going through the same pain and emotions you are experiencing . There is a lot of support and love from many different people here and they are very warm and welcoming . You called the help line that was the 1st step and now this is the 2nd step , you recognize you need and want support , help , maybe even a friend and advice your on the right path . Take some time to reach out to people , read some posts and articles of other people , I genuinely see great people here and I hope you do as well . Welcome and smile your amongst good people.
Hi Lily my name is Don. I know how it feels to be alone and isolated. I struggle with it everyday. Like you I have no close family or friends (mostly my fault) and have a lot of anxiety. And I find it hard to find purpose to, I’m sorry I don’t have an answer for that. And I also have thoughts of suicide, but only thoughts. This is a great community filled with people who thoroughly understand what your going through, and genuinely want to help. I’m here if you want to 'talk'. Please take care of yourself, people do care.
Hi Lily. It's terrible to hear of your situation. I've had many moments in my 67 years when I've felt alone and isolated and pointless. The worst moments have been when I've actually been in people's company yet haven't been able to connect with anyone being so much inside myself.
I have had the advantage of fairly good health and had a career which I'm sorry you lack. Work brings social company, purpose and esteem. I'm retired now, so most of that's gone.
What's good for you is that you can reach out, as you have done, by joining this community.
I hope you get great benefit from it.
There will be low points in your experience. In those moments I tell myself that I am alive and conscious and I can see, hear, smell, taste and feel things and it's possible in those to find a stillness born from a distraction from my dark thoughts and emotions. This is "Mindfulness".
Enjoy this community, but I also suggest looking looking into Mindfulness CBT. I note another member recently saying they'd discovered this and the joy it gave them.
You don't always have to be isolated, but you don't have to be always with somebody.
Hi and welcome to you. I do hope it helps being here x
I also have dreams that I haven't been able to reach and have IRS and other financial problems that sometimes keep me up at night. I have dysthymia and GAD with double depression. At one point in 1994 I was seriously considering buying a gun and eating it. I mention these just to show I'm not commenting from the outside -- I'm in the river with you.
Your dog is old and will die someday of course. But what about a new puppy or two? 2 years ago my cat died. She had a long good life, lived to be 21. I still miss her but got a new kitty very soon thereafter and she helps a lot.
I don't know if it applies to you but I see a lot of people in here saying they don't go anywhere because they just don't feel up to it due to their illness. I have often felt like that but I learned the hard way that not getting up, going and doing and just sitting and laying around just makes it all FAR worse. It allows these horrible thought patterns to loop over and over and wear a deeper and deeper rut in your brain and put you in a tailspin.
You need to hear other voices talking about other things to pull you out of yourself and knock your mind off of these thought patterns -- this is psychological, yes, but it also has a positive biochemical effect. It starts to fill in that rut after a while. (Mine's not totally filled in and I still have some bad days, but my rut is not nearly as deep as it used to be.)
You obviously can't always be around other people of course, you still sometimes have to be alone. At those times, get in the practice of just flat out forcing yourself to replace the bad thoughts with pleasant memories, thoughts, and have confidence that THEY are the truth, not the bad thoughts and memories. In and of themselves, these good thoughts/memories are nothing, but they put you in touch with your Maker who is the source of all good things.
When you first try this thought replacement therapy, as I like to call it, it will be like trying to bench press a supertanker off your chest. That will tempt you to quit. DO NOT. You will get steadily stronger and better at it. After a while it will become second nature. You will still have bad days but they will be fewer and farther between and on average, less severe.
With fibromyalgia, getting out and about is difficult. I don't have it but I know someone who does and I know -- if only secondhand -- that it's not much fun and adds another obstacle to getting out and being with folks. But to the extent you can, the times when you least feel like getting up and out of the house is the time you most need to do it.
God be with you!
You need to do something like interests such as cooking, reading, drawing or listen to music. Prayers can be uplifting and words inspiring. Otherwise look at pinterest any subject say motivational thoughts. Watch funny videos youtube or any subject youtube - just google
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“Think Positively” makes me angry
My life is so conflicting right now
Failure 
Alone
Dear Life
