Over Life

I just don’t understand the point. Of life really. When you have no goals or interests. I know … I know. It’s just the depression talking. But ever since I was a kid I have found very little interest in many things. Got bored easily. The only things now there I do that are “fun” are drinking with friends. Which honestly the drinking I use to cope with my anxiety to even spend time with my friends which later makes my depression and anxiety worse. I have no real hobbies and anytime I try and think of acquiring one I just think I’ll hate it. I’m so over people suggesting them to me. I just don’t even want to be here anymore. Absolutely nothing in this life brings me joy and I hate myself and everything in it. The one thing I want to do is travel but I can’t save enough money to do it, and get enough time off to do it long enough. And I don’t know if I can get the social skills to get a job abroad. I’d have to try and make new friends somewhere else and I can’t even make new friends where I am now.

[argh52]

I too am so bored. When I wake up in the morning all I look forward to is going back to sleep. My life is an absolute mess right now. I have a todo list a mile long. Work is a disaster. I'm getting a divorce. And I have no hobbies or interests to distract myself. But I have people depending on me, and I keep going for them. And I lie down a lot. I doubt this helps but at least you know you're not alone.

[Hidden in reply to argh52]

I don’t really even have people depending on me. Lately I feel like even my parents don’t even care anymore. I know that isn’t true. But they moved out of they city to live out at the cottage and never call me or anything . I contact my mom to tell her I’m down every now and then and feel like a burden. She moved close to her best friends family and I feel like she cares about them more than me. Again more thinking i probably developed as a child. I’m just completely alone right now and my thoughts get so bad every single day. It’s tough

[argh52 in reply to Hidden]

Hang in there. And you can always talk to us. Being on this site is the closest thing I have to a hobby. And a community.

[Hidden in reply to argh52]

I honestly always forget to come back to this site. I haven’t been back on here in months really

[Opportunity]

Hello, DepressedLibra. I know the feeling of wondering what the point is. You may have existential depression. You may be smarter than the average bear too. Many times, people with a high degree of intelligence (or perhaps, simply higher than those around them) get bored easily. They learn in one repetition what others learn in 5-8 repetitions. So it may be difficult for you to relate to the folks who keep hobbies and interests for years at a time. (Years!? Try minutes.).

And building on that, I could imagine that the suspicion you are different would prevent you from even getting started …because you want to avoid feeling different and thus, disconnected from people.

I read this book called “Your Rainforest Mind” that really resonated with me and helped me understand how I might differ. I now feel a lot better when I cycle through interests like they are going out of style. And now I can connect better because I understand myself better, and so can embrace my complexity without always comparing it to others. A work in progress. Still looking for love, so I def haven’t figured everything out. But wanted to chime in in case you hadn’t looked at this angle yet. 👍🏼🦋

[Hidden in reply to Opportunity]

I mean … I wouldn’t say I’m highly intelligent. I tend to find that a lot of times I fear failure. Especially with creative type hobbies. Like I feel like I’m not good at them. Or don’t have a creative eye. But then I never get the motivation enough to try anything becuase of that fear of failure. And also put money into something I may fail at or be criticized for(like say if I took a class or bought supplies for some type of art project) I used to think I was into scrapbooking and had a bunch of scrapbooking supplies - I may still have a bunch . I wanted to put together a scrapbook for a trip I took Over 10 years ago and kept collecting things for it but then never did. I have some interest in pictures, even on the computer like making collages and such, but I always feel like I get overwhelmed and like I need things to be perfect and get discouraged so I stop trying .

[Opportunity in reply to Hidden]

I get like that too! 🤔 I used to think I was into scrapbooking. It is hard. There are so many options. I have much 12 x 12” paper. And hole punches. And one scrapbook with two pages completed. I don’t think I want to be a “scrapbooker.” Junk journaling and smashbooks, on the other hand… I have this junk journal that I bought and it’s so beautiful that I’m paper clipping everything in (as the maker did) so that I can use it without ruining its inherent beauty.

Maybe don’t listen to me. 🤣🤣

[samack]

Can you imagine trying one small collage, not committing to collage as a hobby? Who would you fail if its for yourself? Just experiment. I get frustrated, if something takes time to learn, I get impatient with myself and give up. I used to learn so much more quickly. I don't like being less than good, so fear judgment. I'm trying to get rid of that unhelpful thinking. I did collaging in recent years because you can't go wrong. !!

If you were never encouraged then you never developed hobbies to stick with.

Travel is definitely in your future. You could start with a shorter period of time, 3 weeks? If you go with a group uou will have people around you automatically.

I support you to find your thing(s).