The Cliches

[Inre]

I am SO tired of hearing the same cliches over and over! " It will get better", "Hang in there", " You can call me any time". It's been years and its still not better. I'm tired of just hanging in there and believe me if I called telling you half the crazy going on in my head you'd probably freak out cause you don't get it. I wish people would just listen and stop responding with these "everything fine" catchphrases.

[Hidden]

☹️ I understand the frustration. Unfortunately I bet a lot of people on here do x 💕 I’m sorry x

[Agora1]

It's because no one seems to know what to say to people suffering an invisible malady.

Inre, we all feel the same way on this site. We are made to feel alone and sometimes ashamed that we are the way we are. Words from others may start off as being sincere but than quickly disappear when they realize that we don't get better as quickly as they thought we would. After all, they have a life too. We can't expect others to put their lives on hold while they minister to our needs over a long period of time.

And so this amazing support site came about. It is our safe place to come where we meet others who feel and share the same emotional pain. We learn from each other's experiences. We somehow don't feel so all alone in knowing another person truly understands us. We smile and we cry together. We lift each other's spirit when we are down and embrace and celebrate the good moments that we all have even briefly.

I welcome you Inre to this support site. Reach out to us and know that we care. It may not reduce the number of years you suffer but it can ease it some in knowing we will be by your side as we walk this journey together. Hugs, Agora1

[Btsrslyffft in reply to Agora1]

Agora1-you are so good with words. You also left a reply for me a while back that was like a verbal hug. I (im sure as well as many others on this forum) appreciate you soooo much! Here is a verbal hug back! Squeeze! 😍

[Agora1 in reply to Btsrslyffft]

Thank you Btsrslyffft....I needed that hug. When I reply to others it comes from my

own experience as well as from my heart. I can somehow imagine myself sitting

across from the person I am talking with and holding their hands. The rest comes naturally. Thank you for your kind words. Breathe in peace, exhale stress. xx

[JEG325 in reply to Agora1]

Breath in peace, exhale stress!! Brilliant! But, I already knew you were. Peace, light, love & joy to you my friend....

[JEG325 in reply to Agora1]

That was beeautiful. I would like to frame it and hang it beside my bed. Everytime I get frustrated wth the naysayers on this site (and in my life), I could read it and remember why I spend 6hours+ per day helping people on this site. Lord knows, there's days I just wanna up and leave and never come back. But, then someone I helped will send me a thank you and I stay another few days. Agora1, thanks for the reminder.....I'm good for a few more days now!

[Agora1 in reply to JEG325]

me too...

[4Cece]

Agree, I've friends who have been sick. I call them, text them and ask how they are doing.

It's not the same. People dont do it for me. Double standard. I dont tell them all the sadness, but it's nice to know people actually think of you and acknowledge you are still alive.

I've only been bad for 1 1/2 years, but I guess people tire and just go on. Wonder how my friends with serious physical illness would feel if I did the same. They would hate me, I wouldn't do it to them.

Why so easy for them to us though. I don't get it. They dont even bother to educate themselves. Very lazy indeed.

[Inre in reply to 4Cece]

I totally understand before I went through TMS I was at my lowest ever and my husband was at his wits end "dealing" with me. It got so bad that now that my symptoms have returned I underplay it as much as I can. Most people don't understand how debilitating depression and anxiety are.

[Jane_Doe2018]

I agree. Inre, it sucks, and the cliches suck. There are times where I get very frustrated because the words are empty to me- they are just words. I wish more people were understanding of our side/perception of things. I agree with what others have commented, and you may find a lot of people feel the same way.

[Btsrslyffft]

I have been frustrated with ppl in the same way. I was nearly perfect (excellent academically, a top athlete and a runway model in college after graduation I went from lab tech to lab manager in under 90 days with a 50% pay increase, had a sexy latin lover....by any standard I was killing it as a young adult) until my late 20s, everybody was always so nice that I just thought thats how ppl were. Then I stopped being perfect and saw the masses of so called friends head on to circulate around the next successful person. I was shocked! It sucks when you realize an unfortunate percentage of ppl are fake/dont care. But like Oprah says, " you dont get to ride in the limo with me if you wont wait with me for the bus." Basically it sounds like you are getting to see who of your friends will wait for the bus with you. It sucks "waiting for the bus" but its an opportunity to find out who are real friends. I found out I didnt have any ride or die people in my life but now I atleast know not to expend any energy for them. The people that seem to be the best are people who have gone,not are going, through something similar=wellness warriors. So brightside! if you can make it through ur hard time you too have had the opportunity to become a wellness warrior and maybe help the seemingly increasing # of people that are having to "wait for the bus"

[quitter333]

If its been years.. then everything is fine.

I always remind myself - all people around us have weirdest thoughts and shit in their head as well. They just dons talk about it ( my dad for example revealed he struggled with mood problems for decades but seeing me achieving gave him the reassurance it is ok). I learned that feeling weird is ok.

I started doing the same- tolerating others. Those who say its going to be ok know it is going to be ok. Because it is going to be ok. It is alresdy ok.

[CD1202]

I understand exactly how this feels, I’m sure most of us do. I’ve been feeling this same way lately. It is sooo hard to keep yourself going especially when you have little kids.