Stopping it all

[Bornagaintwice]

Yesterday, I was at my lowest point so far I think. Left hand on the table, the other gripping tight on a scissor. I've called a friend, but its really new to her and its shocked and panic, full of confusion. Her words only make everything worse, I could argue and give a more negative reply with every motivational and supportive she thrown at me. I can't see through, all whats left in my mind was the benefit to everyone around me if I'm not around. Eventually I've managed to push away the thoughts and feeling even tried to put away every sharp edged tools that could harm me. I haven't got out of the house for a week, not even a glimpse on the doorstep.

Now I'm really scared if these thoughts and feelings come around.

[Jvicks]

I am sorry you are going through such a difficult time. Slowly, things will improve. Keep going.

It usually helps to reach out in a crisis but, you need to speak to the right people. Advice can be extremely hurtful, when it is given improperly. I have been through that type of situation. I reached out to many family members but, it just made everything worse. Now I know who to speak to.

I self harm, so I understand that feeling. We know that harming ourselves will not solve our long term problems, but in the moment, we think it is all we have.

I was suicidal for just over a year. I understand intrusive thought. They feel scary and powerful. I use DBT skills to cope. Really helps to have many methods to help control my mind.

Much love!

[Bornagaintwice in reply to Jvicks]

Thank you I'll keep trying. I tried reaching out to close family members but it suffers me more to see the pain in their eyes and heart. Its true the thoughts, the feeling is so hard to clear out the way.

you went through so much, and hearing this really gives me hope to keep trying new ways to understand myself. Thank you for sharing your story jvicks

[Jvicks in reply to Bornagaintwice]

Recovery is not easy for anyone! Honestly, when I developed a postpartum mood disorder, I thought I would get meds and be ok! We have to keep trying, even when we do NOT want to! Medication saved my life. I wish you all the best. 🙂

[AnxietySterling]

Hi, I think because you feel really low right now you cannot clearly see that nobody would benefit if you were not there. You need to leave the house, go for a walk and try to relax a little. It is hard right now but anxiety and depression have lows and highs, so things will get better. Take little steps and try to stay busy. If we have nothing to do we concentrate in all the bad happening. Stay strong, things will turn around!

[Bornagaintwice in reply to AnxietySterling]

Thank you for clearing out my head Anxietysterling I think I'll try go out today for a walk and calm myself down as a start, Hope things is well for you as well.

[clayjars]

@faaaturr, I'm glad to hear that's behind you, but have you spoken to anyone about it, ie. therapist or psychiatrist? Most friends and family are not ready to address these crisis moments. They are scared that you may do something drastic and their words may not help you at the time. Perhaps talking it over with a trained counselor may help you get to the root of the issue and come up with strategies to overcome those moments? Or have crisis hotline available for when you are in the moment, bit.ly/2BivPhi.

I hope you are doing better. Please keep us updated. *hugs*

[Bornagaintwice in reply to clayjars]

I'm meeting a therapist in a month and Thank you for the crisis hotline, I'd never thought I need one. Yes, I think they are not ready to confront this things.

Thank you, I've been trying to get back on my own feet. Hope you are doing great as well

[HistorianNerd]

That is the beauty of this forum, I am learning. We all understand and can support each other when family and friends can’t. I’ve been there - last time I used a texting hotline and it helped get me off the edge enough to calm down. I’m glad you’re going to a therapist and believe that will be a positive change. Hang in there because the world needs you.

[SlothTamer]

These feelings suck and other who don’t experience these moods just can’t relate. I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety for well over 20 years, since I was a teenager. Gotta take control over the small things that are in your power such as getting a little fresh air, take a shower, change clothes, take some deep breaths, drink some water, stand up and stretch and get some blood flowing through the body. Those little tiny positive actions can help lift the mood even just a little I hope. Please reach out and get some help from a professional if at all possible. I’m glad someone posted a hotline for you.

You are strong enough to reach out for help and you are worthy. Hugs to you. I send you positive and peaceful energy.

[Bornagaintwice in reply to SlothTamer]

Thank you it feels really good to be appreciated I hope you're doing better as well, I've tried meditating but it seems these feeling keep coming around. I'm looking forward this month to meet my psychiatrist.