Troubling family

[Megdrew]

I'm 22 years old and just graduated. My mom has made my living too difficult. She accuses for every single thing that i do. She thinks that I'm not mature enough to make decisions. My parents had stopped giving me money since i was in high school. I had started giving tutions to survive myself. And now I'm earning pretty good in these tutions but my mom thinks that i should have a dignified job and earn more. I'm working for that but i need some time to build myself. But she continuously nags me. I have started to have depressed thoughts. Sometimes i even think of committing suicide. I literally have no money to see a psychiatrist. I talked to my mom about this but she blamed my lifestyle for having such thoughts. I need help

[muirbabe]

Hi Megdrew, I am sorry you are in such a bad situation. Is there anyone else you could talk to besides a psychiatrist. Just to vent and talk it through. Any voluntary organisations that offer a 'listening service' In the UK we are lucky, we have the 'Samaritans'.

It sounds like you have done extremely well to graduate and find tuition work and fund yourself. So you are a very resourceful person to have come this far.

I hope life gets better for you.

[Megdrew in reply to muirbabe]

I could move out of the house but ill need a good job for that. So i guess I'm stuck with them

[hypercat54 in reply to Megdrew]

I agree that you have done very well for yourself and you should be proud. Your mum is certainly not worth killing yourself over as soon enough you will be able to afford to move out and live your own life. Direct your energies towards that and concentrate on living not dying. x

[Hidden]

Megdrew, i'm so sorry to hear. Please don't commit suicide. Do you have any other family or friends you could live with? You are right that it all takes time. You clearly are trying. It sounds like your mom might just be toxic and have her own issues she isnt dealing with.

[LadyO4]

What a horrible tragedy to carry around all the time. When I hear stories of parent/child conflicts, I get so sad. Young people are desperate for their parents to understand what navigating through life really feels like. I had four children who launched into their future after graduating, and I watched firsthand the ups and downs they experienced trying to reach their goals.

In spite of your negative surroundings, it's critical you find a way to take care of yourself. Perhaps this can be done by connecting with someone who is not emotionally involved in your situation, like a pastor, a teacher you have looked up to and respected, a church member, or a support group of some kind. Give yourself something to look forward to that will build you up inside, and perhaps this can be done by finding solace away from home in the company of someone who knows how to listen.

Try to figure out why your mother has these strong tendencies to treat you this way and why she have all these expectations of you. Is it her strong personality? Pressure she feels to make you look good? What will she gain by making you the perfect daughter (of which there is no such thing).

Make some new decisions on how you will proceed from here, emotionally and mentally.

Once you connect to something that will make you feel better about yourself, like joining a club or recreational activity, volunteer work, lifestyle changes, a church group, your own personal goals, hobbies, and group involvements, your self worth can have a chance to be nurtured in positive ways.

Please do not give up - this is temporary. Yes, it may seem like an enormous task to overcome, so that's why it's important to be connected to some kind of outside support.

Ask the school guidance office if they know of any options for getting help for people in your kind of situation. This world has a lot of wonderful beautiful people in it who desire nothing more than to stand with you in your time of need. Call around, ask questions, ask for references, and keep moving forward. I'm glad I had a chance to share my thoughts with you.