Always Something

[lakelifeliving]

First let me say I'm not seeking a reply, I use this forum as therapy to get my thoughts out, but if your reading and want to comment that is great to.

I've had my new prescription for almost a month I keep having a reason why it isn't the right time to start taking it, even though I know it will calm my mind. I have a job that busy and travel is required so switching meds makes me worry or concerned I'll have side effects. I have been on that medicine before and it has worked amazing and had only gone off of it because of pregnancy.

This week week I have felt short tempered and frustrated. I have been dwelling on symptoms I think I am feeling. Sometimes I don't know if I am really feeling them, feeling them because I'm starting to get anxious and don't know it or if something is actually wrong. My head is just not able to rationalize my thoughts right now. Its one thing after another with no calm unless I am sleeping.

So what am I dying of this week. 1) Brain Tumor. Why? Its not normal for me to have headaches but I have been getting dull headaches here and there on and off mostly behind my eyes almost feels like a strain sometimes going into temples. Than I have pain in my lower head mostly when I move. Muscular? Tension Headache? Eye Strain? NO it can't be LOL. I also have been moody with my husband - called marriage? And I have noticed floaters/moving spots. I notice them mostly if its bring out, if I'm going dark to bring, if I am driving towards the sun and turn onto a shaded road - probably something I have ALWAYS had and just notice. I know that its called like photoimagery or something like that and its literally the impression of the bright object, but for me it has to be a tumor. I am super concentrated on what my eyes are seeing, is that a spot, is that normal. OMG its exhausting. Not to mention I have double vision.....when I am laying down on my side falling asleep....ah who doesn't have this if their eyes cross. I know your reading this and are laughing. I would be too, if I wasn't convinced it was a tumor.

MS/Lou Gehrigs - I notice that I have a light tingle top of hand, sometimes in ring finger, sometimes on thumb. Yes, I type ALL DAY. Yes it could be carpel tunnel. My toes sometimes fall asleep depending on how I stand for no reason, NEVER MIND that I wear 4 inches a day and there are pressure points. Sometimes I feel like I am a little dizzy/airy. Who knows maybe its a anxiety thing, maybe its a tumor thing, maybe its a in my head thing.

I don't know, like my husband says its always something and my stress is going to kill me. Although he is patient he just doesn't get it so I don't talk about it unless I am so anxiety ridden I am ready to cry. Otherwise I stuff it, all day everyday which clearly makes it worse.

I do have great things in my life and do enjoy life. I have the most amazing little boy, I have a husband who I still adore after all these years, a beautiful house and a great job. Although I don't think it I am healthy. I am so blessed and need to shift my mindset to live. I need to take the pink pill and chill.

[Kittykat2]

You write really well and seem to be quite rational about your health anxiety in lots of ways.

Think we often try to work out how it started or when.

I have a few on going heaLth issues for real so cant separate the anxiety symptoms from another ailment.

Not sure if started to worry when mum died a few years ago.

Maybe it was from one of my health problems when was really ill and they kept sending me away saying it was this and that telling me I was fine.

That went on for a year of losing weight feeling really ill bone pain etc .

I requested pushed for a referral and the hospital specialist found the coeliac in blood tests within half hour. Maybe its given me a fear of when im ill they cant see it or never find it dont believe me etc.

Twice that has happened same with thyroid.could be why I continually worry google everything and think everything is a disease.

Trouble with me is I worry over the stuff ive already got AND the stuff I might have.

Anxiety is just the pits .... For health .....cant help established health issues at all and certainly can make you feel physically ill most days.

Take care you write some great posts X

[Sillysausage234]

Just saying hello and I didn’t laugh reading this,I think you know yourself it’s probably all tension and stress,you recognise yourself as meds have worked before,take the pink thing and best wishes 🌞

[Tjgg]

I am sorry you are going through this! I did not laugh at all, I am going through the same thing and I completely understand. I also have health anxiety issues. This year has been hell for me, and I think it started when my dad got sick. Just like you, I feel and think i am going to die. This month is ovarian/cervical cancer, why ? Because I've been feeling period like cramps and is not my time yet( not to mention i just stopped taking birth control pills and my body might be adjusting to it) but no, our minds say something else! It's a constant fight about I am fine and I am not. Just like you, I will tell myself I am fine ( and I know I am) but then the pains and thoughts come back telling me I'm wrong. I have dad hip pains, stomach pains, muscle pains and yes.. there is always somethig going on. It is very stressful and exhausting. I will talk to my husband just when I feel I cant do this anymore ( just like you) but most of the time i just keep it to myself because if not I will have to do it avery day and i know he will get tired of listening to all my diying syntoms. Have you ever get checked for OCD ? I just found out i have it and it makes it even worst to controll anxiety. If you are under medication just take the pill and wait for it to work. I wish you the best and hope you will feel better soon. You are not alone...