Always annoyed by lots of chatter

[Kat63]

It’s hard for me, when I come into the office and people are chattering and making noise, and telling all their business whether anybody wants to hear it or not.

I know that normal people are more social and talkative than I am, and I’m the weird one. I feel bad about being the way I am. I wish I felt comfortable just shooting off my mouth easily like most people do. But I just don’t. I put my headphones on to drown out the noise. But I try to at least be social for the first 30 minutes or so of the work day. Today I lasted maybe 7 or 8 minutes before I couldn’t stand the babbling and noise anymore, and had to put on my headphones.

[fauxartist]

invest in noise cancelling ear buds....

[Kat63 in reply to fauxartist]

I did. Best $200 I ever spent!

I just wish I was normal, that’s all.

[fauxartist in reply to Kat63]

some of us are just hypersensative to noise, touch, taste, personal space, etc....it's what also allows us to be more intune on the good side of things...but yes....I can hear a dog barking 5 miles away and it drives me nuts sometimes....so I put on headphones.

[Coralrose5]

It annoys me too

[Hidden]

Im the same. Im retired now and am happily quiet.

[Hidden]

I am much the same way and I feel bad about it because it is a goal that my therapist assigned to me, to socialize more with my co-workers. I do it every now and then but its difficult for me to gather the motivation to consistently do it. It is such a strong habit to keep to myself, put on my headphones, and concentrate on doing my work. I do wish that I could be more like them but I just don't think I have the same brain wiring as the majority of people regarding sociability. I've spent some time Googling for advice on how to get myself into a more talkative mood but I still struggle with it.

[joibronxen]

I relate. I was just thinking today how I seem to have lost my personality...other people can chit chat and laugh and I just don't get those things. Nothing they say is worth hearing, but they all just laugh and enjoy conversation. I'm not shy at all...I just don't usually see the point. It's nice to see I'm not alone there...

[Hidden in reply to joibronxen]

That's exactly how I feel and can sympathize with you. Most conversation feels trivial to begin with, so it can feel worthless expressing a thought. But when there is something worth speaking about, I am sure the desire grows. Most people are shallow and petty, but when you can find someone who can dig deeper, it feels more real (at least to me).

[joibronxen in reply to Hidden]

Ha. Definitely true. I always think everything people say is neurotic or petty. I'm often thinking "see, now why did you feel like that needed to be said out loud?" Then I wonder if I'm just a b*tch. lol...but truthfully, the digging deeper thing is where I go as well. I have become increasingly annoyed with the cultural exchange of "how are you...good, you...good." I always call them a liar in my head. I do think, though, that most people are very judgmental and simply have no idea how to handle people's real thoughts and struggles. So people like us just stay quiet until we find someone that will answer the question with "ya know...cried myself to sleep last night so I have a bit of a headache, how are you?"

[Hidden in reply to joibronxen]

It's what feels like the acceptable, more approachable way to converse with others. But in reality, it's just everyone putting on a happy face to get by. While I do see the benefit of it at moments, it can feel very fake (even monotonous), so I agree. I suppose the idea of expressing one's true feelings is socially unacceptable given if everyone expressed their bad day constantly, people would find such a person unenjoyable to be around.

There will be few who value that honesty and even fewer who are willing to put up with it. Granted, I can see how it could be draining if said person constantly did such actions without finding the silver lining somewhere. Then again, honesty is a quality that few have, so there are always benefits to both sides. It's keeping things balanced, that's the key!

[Kat63 in reply to Hidden]

I am a believer in “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” so I don’t endorse being absolutely honest about what a rotten day you’re having.

I just don’t understand people who (for instance) come into an office full of coworkers, and unasked, tell a long story about selling their boat, or their kid’s braces. Whatever happened to just saying a polite “good morning” and leaving it at that?

I don’t talk much myself, because I feel like people don’t want to hear it. And I appreciate quiet, maybe to an extreme. It’s a good thing my partner also doesn’t talk much - he’d get on my nerves to the max if he did! And I find most of what he says interesting.

[Hidden in reply to Kat63]

I do understand exactly what you mean. Personally, I don't unless it's someone I feel really close to (three of my coworkers I sit near have mental issues, so it's like an unspoken bond of trust there) but even then, I try not to expand on it.

It feels rude, right? It's an intrusive conversation since you're within listening range. I used to sit near a coworker like that who would just go on and on about how much she worked out, what she ate and whatever else she did that day. Very similar in that no one asked, but she spoke loud enough that everyone was subjected to it. It's downright rude, so I don't blame you for feeling annoyed by it.

There's a book I started reading a while ago called "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" which I think sheds a lot of light on this matter. You might like it if you enjoy reading. That's really nice that you and your partner are able to connect that way!

[Kat63 in reply to Hidden]

I will look for that book.

That’s exactly how it feels - intrusive. It’s being inflicted on me whether I like it or not.

[joibronxen in reply to Kat63]

A “good morning” if fine And I absolutely agree about unsolicited “listen to how much my life sucks” rants! Lol

[joibronxen in reply to Hidden]

Oh I totally agree. I don’t mean being a negative nelly...I just mean more authentic. The monotony of reading a script day after day that means nothing irritates me. I’d rather not talk. But that’d be rude so...lol

[Hidden in reply to joibronxen]

I figured you weren't! But I understand how much 'common talk' can feel painfully boring and contrived.

[Sunshine425 in reply to Hidden]

So true!!! Ugh its hard when so many people act like their life is so perfect when you are feeling so "not perfect" everyone suffers... some choose to hide it by overcompensating. Wow that is prob not spelt right. Anyway work environments can always be tricky. Especially when were finding it hard to connect with people... it can be so lonely.

[Kat63 in reply to Sunshine425]

You spelled it right. 😊 (I’m a writer/editor by occupation.)

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Kat63]

Me, too before I retired.

[Bee1232]

Meeeee Tooo, same!

[Nom-D-Ploom]

A nurse with whom I worked 12-hour shifts always went out of her way to sit next to me. She was a whistler. Not even a whistle. More like an asthmatic wheeze with squeaks. Drove. me. insane. She wasn't even aware she was doing it most of the time.

In self-defense, I started to hum the first song that came to mind. Yellow submarine. I don't even like that song, but when she started squeaking I started humming. It kept me from hearing all of her noise.

But it also became a habit, since I had to hum all night, every night. Oh well. it was better than the noises the other nurse made.

[Sunshine425]

There is a name for people that struggle with certain sounds or noises.its just starting to be talked about more. Misophonia or something. is it just your anxiety or does it happen it lots of situations? please dont let my post create more anxiety! Just curious if theres more you can do so youre not suffering. <3

[Kat63 in reply to Sunshine425]

It happens when I’m not anxious, too. I’ve just always been this way, even as a child. If people talk too much, and especially if it’s not a very interesting conversation, it starts to get on my nerves; and I wish they would just shut up. Of course I pretend everything is OK. I realize that most people in the world are not quiet people, like me.

[Hidden]

I can so relate to you kat.

Struggling with it at the moment a lot.

In social situations for the first time with a group of people..oh my it’s so difficult ! I’m really questioning myself, but can’t help feel it’s they who should look at themselves. It’s sent me in a turmoil to be honest.

Rather triggering.

Take care, your not alone x