Friendships

Does anyone have advice in making friends (IRL) while experiencing anxiety/depression? I’m not as sociable as I’d like to be, and find it hard to make connections again. I don’t make it such a big deal as it used to be. I don’t mind being alone. But somedays I wish that I could possess more ease in making/keeping friends around.

[pink83737]

I know how you feel 100% you definitely are not alone in this! it’s hard making friends when you feel so low, i get that but if you wanna be internet friends id love to! but also maybe try getting out make friends at church, at your job etc! best of luck x

[Hidden in reply to pink83737]

Thanks pink83737🖤😌

[strongmom15]

UGH! Me too! I feel like reading this was like reading my mind. I’m naturally an introvert and have some social anxiety, so I’ve never done well making friends or maintaining friendships. It’s tough. Really tough. Maybe there is a local support group where you could meet some new people who understand what you’re going through and likely have the same issue meeting people? Also, just in general I think it’s normal for a lot of people to have trouble making friends. I’ve read tons of articles on it so it must be something a lot of people deal with. So don’t be too down on yourself either. Maybe try a low key local group like a book club or something that is really casual. Maybe you’ll meet some interesting folks! Or volunteer for a local charity, you’ll run into the same folks that may be good friends because they care about the same causes you do.

[Hidden in reply to strongmom15]

Thanks strongmom15 for the suggestions and comfort🖤The book club and support group both sound like good ideas

[mrmonk in reply to Hidden]

Or even better, start your own book club! Maybe use something like the Meetup app to organize an event that is in sync with your interests -- that way, you'll already be in a comfort zone, which will temper your anxiety. Many, many years before we had apps to help with these things, I founded an organization that conducted poetry readings at local libraries and bookstores. From those events, a group of folks (including myself), who loved to read poetry, got together every month at the home of one of our regulars to chat and discuss the poems that had been read at the event two weeks prior. We had such wonderful conversations and I made such great friends, including a gentleman forty years senior to me, who became my close friend and mentor. I've lost touch with most of them, and my dear friend is now gone. Your post reminded me how much I miss them, and how much I long for friendships like those again.

[Kookie1980]

I am a super social person most of the time despite my anxiety/depression and I still have a hard time making and keeping friends. I feel like it is so hard to trust people as I get older, but some of the best friends I have I made, organically at my gym or my neighborhood. Don't be afraid to talk to people I always think, I have nothing to lose, either we will be friends or we won’t, but six months from now I won't even remember them, or it won’t matter because it will be in the past! I hope this helps!

[pam4him]

It can be hard to make the first move, but in time it can become more natural. Consider looking for a mentor in this area. Someone around you that seems to introduce themselves easily at social events or work. Ask if they can give you pointers in connecting with others. Practice in a mirror, putting your hand out to shake, introducing yourself out loud, getting used the sound of your own voice and words. Relationships take time, but hopefully soon you will click with a few people and a friendship will bloom naturally.