right now i’m having crippling anxiety and calling my friends about it and now it seems they’re annoyed because i’m mentioning the same things
crippling anxiety: right now i’m having... - Anxiety and Depre...
crippling anxiety
46 Replies
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Sorry to hear that. You are not alone, reach out anytime
I am sorry you are suffering right now. I totally understand.
• in reply toRufus07
any advice
Rufus07• in reply to
I don’t, I’m sorry. When I’m having an episode I just keep to myself and don’t reach out to my friend because I too believe she is sick of hearing it.
That’s what my mom says as well
Friends generally get tired of hearing about your problems at some point. Also, they are not equipped to provide psychiatric help. Try to see a therapist or a psychiatrist instead.
Friends will often tell you to call. But, they have their own problems and they can back off after awhile. If you have a therapist be sure and call.
Try to find a behavioral therapist, preferably one trained in anxiety disorder treatments. There are lots of treatments out there that are evidence-based. In the meantime, try sitting with the anxious sensations and thoughts. Let them rise up and fall down naturally, knowing they are of no danger to you. They feel uncomfortable, but they cannot hurt you. The less resistance you show it, the less we invite it back. The struggle is in the resistance.
Well said! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
As a reminder to those struggling with anxiety, this approach applies to all anxiety symptoms and it works.
I very much agree! The practice is hard, it feels unnatural, but it really teaches the brain to calm itself automatically over time. Anyone interested may want to look into 'Staring Down Panic' by Brian Ott. Don't just read it, practice what he says. It applies to general feelings of anxiety too.
If you're reading this and don't know where to start: read this book or The Anxious Truth, get to know the mechanisms happening in your body and brain. Anxiety is a bad habit, but it isn't your enemy. We can unlearn bad habits and learn new skills. Recovery is possible, I fully believe that.
I know it's true having travelled along that road and reached my destination! Anxiety doesn't have a grip on us, we have a grip on it. Let go.
Hi, just wanted to reach out on your reply to the crippling anxiety post. I myself don't feel I have anxiety it's real intense depressive thoughts, I've tried what you said above. I understand my thoughts are not going to kill me and they after hours start to fade, but it's hours. What part of this do you think I could get a better understanding of to have this work for me? Did you or do you have like ahh ha moments ever? Like you finally get using the method? I can't seem to get there. I sit with it try not to give it any meaning but it's not working for me.. somehow the thoughts will not leave. Somehow I must be giving them the time of day and cannot figure out how to shut them up, if you know what I mean. I just wish I knew the solution, so I could be ok with where I'm at mentally, because after finally the thoughts leave I re- engaged with why am I depressed all the damn time, like I'm trying to understand it., perhaps that's what I need to let go of to. Like writing you it's as if I need to figure it all out and understand it to hopefully that someday it will go away eventually. Since you've used this technique I thought I'd ask if anything comes to mind about where I am with it.Thanks in advance if you have any insight, if not that's fine to.
So glad you found this works for you.
Hi there, thank you for replying. An important distinction I have found is that while anxiety and depression often coexist they do require different approaches. Just one example is the depression often wants us to *not* do things, so it is important that we *do* those things. With anxiety, often it wants us to *do* something (i.e. to make it stop) so we practice *not* doing those things like safety behaviors. Does that make any sense at all? It does in my head. Happy to try to break it down more if I can.
Thought engagement is a trickster, the thoughts feel so much more important than they are. All of this practice is easier said than done, so be patient with yourself. When you notice you begin to engage with the thoughts, interrupt the thoughts and turn your attention to something else. Focus intently on it. It could be the process of brushing your teeth, watching a show, walking to the park. Observe the world around you and actively think about it. Make the choice to turn your attention away from the intrusive thoughts; even if you have to do this repeatedly and manually, even if it happens every 30 seconds, keep redirecting. What you are doing is building new neuro pathways, and with time and repetition, this becomes the new norm in our brains. The poor things just want to protect us.
I don't know if I ever had an ah-ha moment, and this is still a daily practice for me, but if you just take the leap of faith to try accepting the thoughts/sensations and choose to redirect your focus then with time you will see some change and it will incentivize you to keep going. Try not to white-knuckle this approach. Try to relax and embrace it as you practice changing your brain.
What you wrote about the depressive thoughts and how to do or think of something else makes a lot of sense, try stopping it in it's tracks. I usually played a game for diversion but it doesn't seem to help lately, the negative and depressive thoughts still happen through my games. But thank you for your analogy it makes sense. I just need to devote, practice and have some patience for me to start seeing the changes and hopefully these Neuro patterns will develope as you mentioned. I believe this makes sense, I learned of it through reading and hearing about David Hawkings book called Letting Go, but it's the same principle but the books more about letting go of the ego. But the sensations and thoughts are what needs let go of., same for depression and anxiety in approach. I think it's the acceptance part that throws me off, I have a hard time with acceptance of my current circumstances., so the letting go part I fight instead... I'm going to try to keep practicing letting go because the alternative being in this mental states not good at all and if it works then at least I'll be in a better place then I am presently.
I really appreciate you responding so very much., and am glad to know the technique is helping you. Hopefully someday I can help another and I can explain that its working or worked for me to.
You absolutely will be able to help another one day once you're on the "other side" of it. I wanted to make one distinction: we aren't necessarily stopping the thoughts in their tracks. We are just not allowing ourselves to run off with them. We acknowledge they are there and simply do not engage, they exist but our focus is elsewhere on more important things.
I, too, struggle with the acceptance part of recovery. It is very hard. There is a notable drop when I feel adrenaline rushes spiking up, and I occasionally feel and *believe* that the only thing I have to do is nothing. This belief will click for you too with tenacity and courage as well as repetition and prolonged practice. Look for the drops and the glimmers. Train your brain. You can do this and I wish you all the luck.
I’m trying to share the site with you but for some reason I can’t paste it here. There are many options. Try the crisis text line. You may have to wait if they’re busy but someone will come on to help you.
Try that Text HOME to 741741 from anywhere in the United States, anytime. Crisis Text Line is here for any crisis. A live, trained Crisis Counselor receives the text and responds, all from our secure online platform. The volunteer Crisis Counselor will help you move from a hot moment to a cool moment
I'm sincerely terribly sorry to hear that both you're struggling with the anxiety and then not getting the support that you need from your friends. Of course we repeat ourselves sometimes or even more than sometimes.
I think that's normal and there's nothing wrong with it.
If you cant reach out to a friend, get into nature, look up,
write it down and burn it,
deep breathing, in for 4, and out for 4, 8 cycles. Hugs x
Done this myself & drove people away. It hurt, but made me see my friends are not therapists - not equipped to help & can't tolerate repeated requests for help, when they can't. You naturally want help and to talk about it; - maybe telehealth? Also , I had to learn not to freak out about it, and to do something to totally absorb my mind, like gaming or playing Scrabble online.
It's ok to mention things more than once. It's a good way to vent and clear your mind of what's bothering you. Just be sure to tell your friends that you appreciate their patience for listening to you when you repeat things. I will be praying for you this week.
Dear Hidden,
If you’re having crippling anxiety, try 988 (in the U.S.). They can help you through the anxiety attacks with grounding exercises and other relief exercises/techniques. They’re here for you without judgement, and available 24/7/365. I’ve used it a couple times, and each time I’ve felt much better.
Hope you find relief.
Hi Cheetahone, you responded to my post the other day. I just read this from you on here and wanted to ask or inquire about 988. I never knew 988 was available for just talking things through, I assumed they'd call an ambulance and take me to the hospital by calling these suicide prevention lines? Of course I don't want to admit I'm suicidal when I'm not quite suicidal, but just plagued with depressive thoughts. Do you have to say your suicidal? Is it also kind of like a therapy situation, or more for anxiety they help with? I don't feel anxiety it's just depressive almost suicidal thoughts processes by thinking I can't live like this any longer or I don't want to live like this any longer, but not with intention or thinking of how to do it. If that makes sense.
Hi Enduring-it-all,
988 is a suicide and crisis hotline. They don’t specify what crises they cover so it probably won’t matter (eg depression, anxiety, abuse, etc). Also, to be frank, I called with suicidal thoughts and they handled it by having me scribble on blank papers and tearing them up when I felt like it. It helped me to realize that I felt suicidal because I was super anxious and depressed about being misdiagnosed for over 30 years. I felt extremely angry with the old doctor who misdiagnosed me and I felt like he ruined my life. By scribbling hard and tearing the papers to shreds I was able to identify and symbolize my actually tearing the doctor apart.
Please note that they didn’t ask for any identifying information and were patient with me until I was comfortable with hanging up.
Also, mine was just an example. Please don’t judge my instance as a perfect example of the many other problems that they can help you with and solutions that they can provide. And they really listened and did not force me to do anything.
Hope this helps and you give it a try, so you can get help and judge for yourself. It worked both times I called and they were for 2 different reasons.
Good luck and good for you for asking about it, 988 is a really good idea.
Thank you for clarifying, I really appreciate it, at least I know there's another option when I'm at my worst instead of winging it on my own. I've been going through some tough mental places lately. I see my doctor tomorrow and am going to see what he can offer plus see if I can get into a psychiatrist since my counselor mentioned I should and it won't interfere with me still being able to talk with my counselor, which I couldn't handle right now I've established a good rapport with him and my insurance won't pay for more then one counselor but a psychiatrist it should. I'm struggling and trying to get what help I can, again bless you for talking about the crisis line and explaining how it helped you. It sounded before to me as if they'd admit you in a hospital, you eased my mind in the process., and that if I can't cope as I've felt recently that I can at least reach out to them.
I completely understand . If you need to talk , send me a message and we will connect . I totally understand this bad feeling . You most def need support in these times , feeling you have no one only adds to the anxiety
I suffer from thr too. Call your insurance if you have any and see what therapists/psychiatrists you can see. Best of luck!
Hi they cannot fathom what ur going through ssi they can't understand how to help. Most people don't know about positive affirmation and sore breathing meditation. It could require something to guide you in meditating and focusing on your positive attributes. There are a few online but I don't trust that because there's always shine information conveyed subliminal that you may not need, and can damage you mentally. You need a quiet place with NO external stimuli so you get your subconscious mental in line. Not easy but it works. Get info online and implement it by yourself, research all first. Cheers
Slow breathing.
U got to remember if they don't experience anxiety in high doses they won't understand,I just had friend call that had a panic attack he's never had one before and he knows I suffer w them he said it was the most terrible feeling he's ever felt .I understood where he's coming from so we talked him down...it's rough....
Bless you 🙏 I empathise because I have a depressive disorder and an anxiety disorder. People don't understand if they don't suffer from either. I think therapy and medication for anxiety would help you . There are lots of mindfulness and relaxation exercises on YouTube that may help x
That can happen unfortunately. Even my parents get a tiny annoyed sometimes when I repeat myself, but that is usually just temporary or at least it is for me and them. Perhaps my mental health problems is why I haven't made any new friends in years. Now, I don't have any friends left. Unfortunately, there really is no magical fix on how annoyed other people can get with you. I wish there was. I do wish you the best of luck in healing your friendships.
I thank you for your message. I am feeling less alone because I understand this problem is affecting other people. I have wrecked my marriage because of anxiety, my husband hates me because I am stressed and scared most of the time. I am relieved to see that I am not the only one. If you need someone to talk, please send me a message!
I’m so sorry you’re suffering. I have GAD and OCD so know how it is. Therapy and meds help me. I would also highly recommend any of Claire Weekes’ books. Or look up what her methods are online.
Hi...sorry to hear you're having a hard time...I started to suffer anxiety out of the blue which became horrendous....can I just put my slant on things....don't know your situation but my anxiety was linked to high calcium levels due to taking supplements plus gavison for acid reflux.....I started magnesium which helped and stopped all calcium supplements plus gavison. It's just my story but anxiety is caused by something usually and I'll never forget how I felt. I think unless u experience it yourself people just don't get it as it takes many forms. Ultimately, we need to find our own way and friends can help at a level but I think it's people who have experience themselves is where to seek help and support...good luck..
Why are you 'Hidden' on this platform, and do you know what the cause of your anxiety is?
Having special people that understand your condition available in times of stress might be wise. Most folks just don't understand nor can we that suffer expect them to. Time to create a team of helpers for times like this
You have to be selective with who you tell your business some don't have mental illness and can't comprehend it and some just don't care . Find those that care and share with them. Share with us we understand.
Wishing you well.
Read all of these posts & can certainly relate. I try not to talk to family members, or so-called friends that just won't, don't, can't get it --that being said, we all need to feel that someone cares about us, will lend a caring ear, be there for us. Especially, if we are there for them which has happened to me, but didn't get the caring back in return. So, online sites like this, organizations like NAMI that have in person, and online groups, EA emotions Annos. like A.A. (a 12-Step program), Grief Support Groups (I have a couple), etc. are helpful. I find talking to cab drivers, my cat (when he was alive), the walls (No, not "crazy") just say-in, helps. Now, some friends especially those that understand how Awful Severe anxiety, and or depression can be are fine to share with, but we don't want to deplete them, and besides they have their Own stuff. Crisis lines, I have used especially just after my Sig. Other passed, and I still struggle with his loss that no one in my fam., or friends want to hear much of (sad, but that's life, I guess)! Thanks for all of your shares on this Awesome site!
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