I'm new here and I can't sleep

For some reason, I can't get my abuser out of my head tonight. Reliving events but mostly just haunted by the emotions I felt back then. I find it amazing that I can still hear his voice in my head. I have suffered from depression, anxiety and PTSD for years.

I've been told for a long time and by a few different people that I "blend into the wall". People ignore me, when I speak they don't hear me so I don't put myself out there. I simply do not matter. Never have.

I'm actually a little frightened that no one will answer this post... I'm really hoping to receive a response to this so that I know I was heard and I matter to someone.

Thanks for listening

6 Replies

  • I think your abuser repeating in your head is a big part of your PTSD. And online you won't blend in because you appear in type like anyone else. So this is a great place for you! Welcome!!

    Believe me, you matter, just as everyone matters. So feel free to talk and bring up whatever you want to.

  • Welcome. I'm so sorry for your struggles

    Well done for reaching out here. It can be difficult when you think your not heard. We hear you 🌺

    Do hope you are receiving support , of course come here and write about it, it helps to write it down and know people hear you.

    Sending hugs to you xxx

  • I get like this my abuser is my father though who haven't spoken to for over 20 years because of the abuse he still controls me if I let him in I learnt a technique to block his face and voice out my head.he ruined my childhood and my past I'm damned if I'm gonna let him ruin the rest of my life!!! It's so hard to learn to control it but u take hold of him and throw him out he dosnt deserve to have a second thought in your head if he's still there then he's still in control.i know how u feel regarding getting him out your head my abuser pops through every now and again but I totally block him out now but takes patience and time as soon as you start traini g your brain to throw him out u will be surprised how it starts to listen to you

    Take care of yourself

    Love Nat xxx

  • Great post

  • Hi. I have had neglect as a child. Yes you do matter. Pm anytime. You did not deserve what gapoebed, I know it happened, but you have worth. It's a fight but he is not worthy to define you.

    *Happened, spelling mistake above

    Pm anytime

  • Fantastic words from mysmugcat!!! "He is not worthy to define you!" This should go down in history as the most wonderful quote for abusers!!!


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