Ex

[iriss]

I was in a relationship with a guy - let’s call him Jeff.

Jeff and I have known each other for about two years, and we began talking around November of 2016. We drifted apart for awhile, and talked again in 2017.

We got very close in a few months, and we began dating in November of 2017.

We were together until May of 2018. We broke up because we weren’t happy and it was all falling apart.

At first it was to be a temporary break, we were going to have some time apart from each other and we were going to try to figure ourselves out a bit. But he drifted far away, and he “realized” that I was emotionally abusive and toxic.

He began dating his current girlfriend in June. They’re still together.

I’ve come to the personal realization that I’m not abusive, but I may be a bit toxic. I have a lot of problems as a young person. I have faced too many adversities in my 16 years of life to be considered “normal”.

My emotions are really messy, and they differ daily. Some days I am numb, others I am angry, most times sad, very very few days I am happy, some days I am frustrated and stressed. I felt and still feel like I can’t control these emotions. I’ve spent so long pushing away my feelings that I am alienated to them.

When faced with emotion, I don’t know what to do. Some times I react with anger, or with numbness. Some times I completely push away everyone around me. I don’t know why, but that’s how I am.

This is the reason why we broke up. But he doesn’t realize all of those things, as we didn’t talk about the break up or any part of it. We sort of just split ways. He moved on fine and is happy, but I’m not moved on and I’m quite unhappy.

I miss him a lot, especially with everything with my mom happening recently. I’m not sure what to do with these feelings of longing, and I don’t know how to get rid of them. I also want to talk to him about everything and I want to be friends.

But I still have some feelings for him. It has been 5 months and he’s moved on, and he’s given me multiple reasons to move on myself. But I can’t seem to.

Him and I did speak a tiny bit when I told him about my mom. We are on good terms.

Does anyone have any advice as to what to do with this situation?

I can’t seem to let time take its place and I can’t seem to get over him. I’m not sure how to stop thinking about him or how to remove him from my mind.

I compare myself to his girlfriend 24/7 every day. We have 6/8 of our classes together. I can’t just avoid them when I see her constantly every day.

Besides my mom, I considered him my biggest support system. They’re both out of my life now, and I feel lost and empty.

He completely ignores my existence, and I can tell that I mean nothing to him. But I can’t get him out of my mind.

[iriss]

I just don’t know how to love myself. Nor do I know how to get to know myself. I don’t know how to do any of this. I’m in therapy but I can only have it once maybe twice a month. It isn’t enough for me, and I feel completely trapped.

I shouldn’t rely on him but I used to when I was unaware of my unhealthy habits. Now I don’t know how to handle these emotions because I’m used to having someone there for me but I’m alone.

[Redfox9]

I am going through same phase and it's been almost 1 month for me. Ik it's hard to move on, I am also trying to move on, and I think am doing well. Most important think to do now is stop blaming yourself. What your behavior is normal. It's normal to be angry at times, it's normal if you're frustrated at times. If you will stop blaming abd forgive your self.

For me my gf and her new one are staying in other city, if it's this hard for me, I can't imagine how it's hard for you.

Starting thinking like this...

Your bf was not the "one", it was better you end up, if the person can't even handle you in your bad times, what's point of keeping relationship? Just for fun?

Look for someone who stand by you in your bad phase.

I am trying to make best of this experience, as ik that I need distraction, and if am able to distract myself from this with a valuable thing, It will be great for furture. Find Hobby distract yourself, I can't give you much advice as am also trying to move on. Ik it's hard, it's damn hard, but we have to make it through.

Hope it will help you🙂

[Shadow123-]

Great advice tots agree. You WILL get through this horrible situation and you will slowly start to except that this was not the right 1 for you.

Also I think telling u that you are toxic is completely insensitive and means he has not taken responsibility for his part- it's emotional abuse and he's laying all the blame at your feet !

Sorry but i think u r better off without that person in your life.

You are worth more than that.

Spread your wings my darlin - the world really is your oyster.

Peace and love my friend

Shadow x

[SoberDrunk1]

In the book Power of Now (by Eckhart Tolle), there is a chapter called enlightened relationship, its a great material. Helped me overcome lot of emotional issues.

[puglove0093]

Have you gone to a counselor? I would start there to see how they could help! I am praying for you!

[iriss in reply to puglove0093]

I have a therapist but I can only see them once or twice a month