will it ever end

[sunflower1318]

i’m new to this support group. and i’m stuck wondering will my depression ever go away? i’ve been back home for almost 6 years. but before that i was in a bad relationship. he was extremely abusive physical and emotionally. i wasn’t allowed to leave the house to talk to anyone and if i tried to i had hell to pay. i wasn’t allowed to see my family at all i went 5 years without speaking to them. i wasn’t allowed to work or drive. he was a very heavy drug user and when he didn’t have his drugs it made things worse. but i got away and moved in with my mom. and never looked back. but the things i went through i think about a lot. since i’ve been back i got married and we have 2 children. i’ll be 30 next year but i still don’t drive and i’m so afraid to. little things makes all of that horrible stuff come back and i get depressed all i want to do is sleep and cry. my husband is amazing and i’m happy. but i want so much more in life and for some reason i can’t get myself to do the things because i’m so afraid of driving. will it ever get any easier will this pain ever go away i just want to be normal.

[Hidden]

You should try seeing a therapist, and to answer your question it will get easier, going through something so traumatizing is hard, you got away which show you're a strong woman. You will get better ❤

[sunflower1318 in reply to Hidden]

i just get so over whelmed at times. thanks tho

[Hidden in reply to sunflower1318]

You have been through a lot

[sunflower1318 in reply to Hidden]

more than what i wrote here. some days i’m just fine other days i feel so numb or like i weight a million pounds and it’s hard for me to get through the day. i just want to lay in bed and sleep. but my babies need me so that’s one reason i keep going. it’s hard i just want to be normal.

[Hidden in reply to sunflower1318]

Use that as your motivation, your babies, you got out of that horrible situation, just start little by little, is there anything you use to do before that made you happy

[sunflower1318 in reply to Hidden]

i try cheering myself up i turn music on and the kids and i dance around and be silly that helps me

[Hidden in reply to sunflower1318]

That's great, that's a start

[fauxartist]

Depression is a disease, a chemical imbalance in the brain, and there is no cure for it, but you can live a life with it. Therapy, meds, or no meds and alternative methods, etc....but it is a life maintenance kind of thing....there are ups and downs, and mood swings, but when you understand that when you get this over whelming sadness, it is just your brain that is off....there does not have to be a reason to feel sad, you just do, then you can realize that this is going to pass. But coping with it when you have the lows is the work. It's no different management wise as if you had to maintain vigilance for diabetes or a heart condition....it doesn't define you, it's just part of who you are.

[SuZQ154]

You are reaching out and that is wonderful!! You have amazing children and husband which sound like they could be strong supports for you.

Have you seen a counselor in the past? Would you consider that? You might want to check out this workbook? bit.ly/33t8FR5 It might give you a place to start to learn new strategies to deal with your depression. There is HOPE!! It takes time, effort, a willingness to forgive, and the willingness to choose "Joy" when life seems so hard. You have this!! Blessings and prayers to you today!!

[sunflower1318 in reply to SuZQ154]

i had a home based therapy when i got back home but she thought i was doing good and thought i didn’t need her anymore i may of worked it to be that way when really i did need her but since then i haven’t had a counselor or any help for my depression haven’t been to a doctor or anything but thanks i will look into getting the book

[SuZQ154]

I understand. Have you considered reconnecting with your therapist? It sounds like it helped before and might be a worthwhile option to pursue??

[sunflower1318 in reply to SuZQ154]

i haven’t normally i try to keep this stuff to myself

[SuZQ154 in reply to sunflower1318]

Just touching base with you. How are you doing? Have you reconnected with your therapist? Praying for you today. Hugs to you!

[sunflower1318 in reply to SuZQ154]

i’m feeling alittle better the past couple days have been pretty good but no i haven’t i say every night i’ll call in the morning but i don’t

[SuZQ154]

Glad you are feeling better! A therapist is sometimes a good step toward figuring out what is going on in our heads and hearts Praying for you today!