Not a real partnership: My husband... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

87,603 members82,289 posts

Not a real partnership

8 Replies

My husband works offshore. Last time he was gone 38 days. During that time I take and pick up little girls from school (no bus) take them to therapy and activities. Take care of bills and house and dogs and working. By myself for 38 days. Yet when he comes home we have to take turns giving girls bath and half the time I still have to take them and pick them up so he can go to personal appointments. I haven’t had a check up in years. Aren’t marriages 50/50? It’s more like 90/10

8 Replies
cieradallas profile image
cieradallas

Me and my fiance have been together 4 years, we have two kids, (5 & 2 ) we both work full time jobs , I take them and pick them up from school and take them everywhere they need to go. I take them to every doc app , alone. I make sure they are fed, bathed and in bed. He works comes home and gets to relax while I clean, he does absolute nothing, so girl i feel your pain!! I have tried several times sitting him down to talk to him and it has got no where ! It puts so much stress on us moms when we work, and have to take care of the kids and house hold on our own. I have heard several times from others that its the "mothers" job, and that pisses me off. we both layed down to have the kids so why cant we BOTH take care of them.

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54 in reply to cieradallas

Hi I had a friend with that problem who kept trying to explain the same thing to her husband. I told her to forget explaining and men like this react better to instruction. So try laying down the law a bit instead. She did and was amazed when it worked! Give him jobs like mowing the lawn, doing the laundery etc. If he doesn't do it then do your own and the kids and not his. You get the picture? It might take time but it will be so well worth it.

You can also do things such as cook or get a takeaway just for you and the kids. When he asks where his dinner is tell him in the shop! x

cieradallas profile image
cieradallas

its 2018 , so i guess the dads feel as if they dont have to help out that its all the mothers job.

in reply to cieradallas

Right. Like women are liberated so now we are expected to have full careers but still be like moms and wives from the ‘50’s.

in reply to

But not all men are like that. I have a brother and he does so much for his wife and daughter and now our aging parents. There just don’t seem to be a lot of good men out there.

cieradallas profile image
cieradallas in reply to

I completely agree. I guess its the wrong girls that get the good guys most the time lol . I hope things get better for yall.

in reply to cieradallas

Thank you! You too!

Florida1959 profile image
Florida1959

Doesn’t sound like middle ground to me, have you talked to him about it, we all need time for us, have you any other support, it feels like you are a single parent, children are a joint production, and should be a joint venture of looking after, good luck love xxx

You may also like...

Hypochondriac or real

having some leg pain I went to the hospital the other day and they said I’m fine and did not want...

Real deal with supplements

with my anxiety again. Picked up a cold from visiting my grand daughter a few days ago, and it...

The Struggle is Real (blessed)

Some days are effortless, and some days take a weeks worth of energy to just get started. The key...

Feeling Alone - No Real Friendships

someone to vent to it might help. I’ve tried therapy so many times. I always feel like they’re just...

Real Books on Loneliness, Are They Out There?

Please don't think I'm unappreciative but maybe take into consideration that someone like me isn't...