Not a real partnership

My husband works offshore. Last time he was gone 38 days. During that time I take and pick up little girls from school (no bus) take them to therapy and activities. Take care of bills and house and dogs and working. By myself for 38 days. Yet when he comes home we have to take turns giving girls bath and half the time I still have to take them and pick them up so he can go to personal appointments. I haven’t had a check up in years. Aren’t marriages 50/50? It’s more like 90/10

[cieradallas]

Me and my fiance have been together 4 years, we have two kids, (5 & 2 ) we both work full time jobs , I take them and pick them up from school and take them everywhere they need to go. I take them to every doc app , alone. I make sure they are fed, bathed and in bed. He works comes home and gets to relax while I clean, he does absolute nothing, so girl i feel your pain!! I have tried several times sitting him down to talk to him and it has got no where ! It puts so much stress on us moms when we work, and have to take care of the kids and house hold on our own. I have heard several times from others that its the "mothers" job, and that pisses me off. we both layed down to have the kids so why cant we BOTH take care of them.

[hypercat54 in reply to cieradallas]

Hi I had a friend with that problem who kept trying to explain the same thing to her husband. I told her to forget explaining and men like this react better to instruction. So try laying down the law a bit instead. She did and was amazed when it worked! Give him jobs like mowing the lawn, doing the laundery etc. If he doesn't do it then do your own and the kids and not his. You get the picture? It might take time but it will be so well worth it.

You can also do things such as cook or get a takeaway just for you and the kids. When he asks where his dinner is tell him in the shop! x

[cieradallas]

its 2018 , so i guess the dads feel as if they dont have to help out that its all the mothers job.

[Hidden in reply to cieradallas]

Right. Like women are liberated so now we are expected to have full careers but still be like moms and wives from the ‘50’s.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

But not all men are like that. I have a brother and he does so much for his wife and daughter and now our aging parents. There just don’t seem to be a lot of good men out there.

[cieradallas in reply to Hidden]

I completely agree. I guess its the wrong girls that get the good guys most the time lol . I hope things get better for yall.

[Hidden in reply to cieradallas]

Thank you! You too!

[Florida1959]

Doesn’t sound like middle ground to me, have you talked to him about it, we all need time for us, have you any other support, it feels like you are a single parent, children are a joint production, and should be a joint venture of looking after, good luck love xxx