Part of the problem

[MizzG88]

I got so upset this morning because someone asked me a question, I mentioned I was feeling depressed and nothing was said to me, not even a "what's wrong" . How can you be with someone that just doesn't seem to give a damn! It's so frustrating...

[fauxartist]

A lot of us can understand what your saying, as we are hurting too and it's hard for some of our friends and family to understand depression if they don't have it. My partner is now as understanding as they can be, but at the same time....they don't have depression and just don't understand why we get so down in the dumps. We have a disease, this causes us to be sad for no reason other than it's a chemical imbalance...and those that don't have it just say...'get over it', or a number of stupid or dismissing comments I've heard from others sharing their frustrations. I'm glad your sharing about it here, these are very kind and caring people who do understand depression.

[MizzG88 in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you I needed that. It's like just sooo much bottled in. I'm hoping my partner eventually comes around like your husband did. Glad to hear for you. It's so hard with no one to talk to. Thanks for sharing your experience

[fauxartist in reply to MizzG88]

well your not alone here....there are many many in the same position. When you start reading similar posts and comments you'll see how common it is with those struggling with this disease. Most find that you have to be so selective with who you talk to with this disease so that you don't get hurt feelings. And often many have no one to talk to. Therapy is a great place to get guidance, and this place is a great place to feel connection.

[hypercat54]

Hi I should imagine because either they didn't know what to say or to handle it or because they really didn't want to take on someone else's problems. Maybe they have enough of their own or maybe they were afraid you would flood them with your issues and break down and cry? Also they had work to do which has to be their priority. x

[MizzG88 in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you!

[Dollie05]

It is frustrating. Sometimes people suck, but you can't let that ruin your whole day. Move forward with your day focus on your self, and not so much on your partner, and their actions. I say this to you because I have been through it. Its your time to shine MizzG88.

[faulhallen]

I agree with some of the others that it is hard for them to understand. The good ones will always try to understand or be supportive but it’s hard to continue doing so forever.

In my personal experiences the only thing I can say about being with someone who doesn’t seem to care is that you need to decide if that relationship is good for you.

I’m not telling you what to do but my ex-wife knew I suffered from depression. I told her at the very beginning what she needed to do if I was depressed to best help me, what it would look like, how long it tended to last, pretty much everything. She had problems with depression to and seemed to get it... at least until she had our children. Being with someone who didn’t seem to care ate me up inside and made me so much infinitely worse than I had ever been before.

I will say that my ex’s inability to care wasn’t just in her words though but that’s how it was for me. She never acted like she wanted me around, cared at all, or even wanted to speak with me. I hope this is an isolated incident for you.

[lovetodance2018]

Unfortunately, many people who have never gone through depression can't understand or sympathize with how you are feeling. My daughter had a friend who was struggling with depression and her friend couldn't deal with her when she was depressed. He said he was her friend and they were good friends until her depression happened. Those who have never struggled think that you can just snap out of it. They don't understand it is a chemical imbalance. If this is a person you care about you can have them read some material about depression. Here is a resource. bit.ly/2wLhaLE However, if this person isn't interest, then it is better to surround yourself with people who understand. This is a great forum for that. Everyone here cares and understands. I will be praying for you and please reach out any time you need. We are here for you. God Bless.